Trauma
by abandon
Summary: Jane and Maura are celebrating their wedding anniversary, until they are viciously attacked, leaving permanent and psychological scars to both woman. Can they both overcome their trauma? Or will it break them. TRIGGER WARNINGS OF RAPE! VERY DARK STYLE OF WRITING.
1. Chapter 1

**_TRIGGER WARNING - RAPE - ASSAULT_**

If you had asked anyone who knew Jane whether a) she would get married and b) would marry a woman they would have laughed in your face. Jane is a fierce, strong and independant woman who will stand her ground with the guys. But no one really ever thought she was actually gay. That was until Dr Maura Isles become the new Chief Medical Examiner at BPD.

There were subtle changes happening, so subtle that Jane herself didn't even know they were happening. Until the first time she had kissed Maura. After that, everything changed, Jane felt she couldn't live without this blonde haired, beautiful angel in her life.

6 months after officially coming out as a couple Jane had proposed to Maura and she had said yes. They have been happily married for 3 years. And to celebrate there anniversary Jane was taking Maura out to her favourite restaurant.

L'Espalier is such a beautiful restaurant and one of Maura's favourites. It is also one of the hardest to get a reservation for in Boston. That's why for the past 2 years they have made the same booking a year in advance. So they knew they would always get their favourite table by the window overlooking the Charles River.

After helping Maura with her chair, she couldn't help but stare at the gorgeous woman sat opposite her. 'You're staring again Jane' the blonde said with a twinkle in her eye.

She reached over the table and grabbed her hands, 'How did i get so lucky, you're so beautiful'. She looked into those hazel eyes lovingly. 'Jane, it is i that am the lucky one', she never took her gaze away from her wife. She could have sworn that she saw Maura blush.

A few hours later, they emerged from the restaurant, filled with love and hope. That the future was going to be a happy one.

'Oh Jane, thank you for tonight it's been lovely'. The cool air outside hit them both instantly. Jane took her wife's arm and tucked it under her own. Trying to pull the blonde into her to keep her warm.

'You're very welcome, and once we get home i'll show you even more how much i love you'. She pulled the blonde towards her so there faces were almost touching. Before bringing their lips together in a long passionate kiss.

Maura felt like she was the luckiest person in the world, pools of brown velvety eyes showed her how much this woman in front of her loved her.

That night they had decided to walk home through the park, which meant heading underneath a bridge. For all the years Jane had lived in Boston, she had never heard or experienced any problems walking home this way. It wasn't particularly that late, there was still that autumn glow in the sky. The sun had set but the last remnants of light was fading.

As they made their way down the path it sloped down slightly to go under the bridge. As they were halfway under a gang of lads were heading there way. Instinctively Jane's hand tightened around Mauras. She felt vulnerable, because she wanted to look nice for Maura, she had decided on wearing a little black dress. Which meant she had no-where to hide her gun or badge.

Without warning the one closest to Jane hit her in the stomach, she couldn't tell if it was a fist or some kind of weapon. The pain that she felt sent her to her knees, and she was struggling to catch her breathe.

As they had struck Jane, the others had grabbed Maura and held her away from her. 'Keep those dyke bitches away from each other' one of them sniggered.

Maura couldn't believe what was happening, she knew that they were in trouble. There were too many of them to fight them all off. And all she could think about was Jane. They had struck her hard.

She was struggling to take even breaths, and when she did it hurt like hell. She was trying to keep track of the lads that had now circled them. As of yet they hadn't done anything to Maura. Maybe, just maybe, they would only hurt her and leave her wife alone she thought. Unfortunately that hope was dashed.

'I think we should teach these dykes a lesson, show them what a real man is, what do you say lads'. His voice dripped with lust and desire.

There was a chorus of cheers and shouts that shook both Maura and Jane to the core. Jane had no illusions what they were planning on doing. But she would be damned if she wouldn't fight back.

Without warning she had managed to take the 'leader' by surprise by landing a good punch to his face. She could feel the crunch of bone on bone as she felt his nose break. This took him by surprise and she had managed to knock him to the floor. She managed to land another punch on one of the other gang members before she felt something hard make contact with the side of her head. She was instantly knocked off her feet, as she was lying on the ground she could feel the warmth of her blood streaming down her face.

She knew she was in trouble now, soon after she could feel what she thought were feet and fists making contact all over her body. By now the whole gang were having a go, landing punch after punch and kick after kick. She could hear her own bones breaking and snapping with each blow. All the while she could hear Maura screaming her name. Begging for them to stop. After what felt like an eternity they did. She tried to see what was happening but she could feel her face and eyes starting to swell up.

Her eyes darted amongst the gang until they found who she desperately need to see. She tried to will her eyes to show Maura that everything was going to be alright. She could see the love coming back to her from the blonde.

Suddenly strong hands gripped her arms hard and lifted her up onto her feet. As soon as they moved her, pain shot through her body. Every nerve felt like it was on fire. The pain was excruciating, she couldn't help but let out a yelp. Her body felt heavy and her head felt foggy, it was getting harder and harder for her to keep awake.

When her eyes came back into focus she saw the damage she had inflicted on 'the leader'. There was blood all down the front of his t-shirt. She knew she had definitely broken his nose. Then she saw his eyes. Nothing but pure hatred, he was pissed. Shit. She knew this was gonna

end bad.

'You fucked up my face, bitch' grabbing her chin and turning her face to the side. She recognised the familiar sound of a switchblade knife. 'Now i get to fuck up yours'. He started to make a deep incision above her right eyebrow, bringing the blade down her face. Cutting deep, almost down to the bone. She couldn't help but cry out in pain.

She was still being held by his goons, her head falling forward, she could see the blood pooling below her. She hoped that would be the end of it. She was wrong. Her hair was roughly grabbed and her head yanked back. He made sure he was looking into her eyes as he calmly and slowly pushed the knife into her stomach. It was the most painful thing she had ever felt, even more painful than when she shot herself. It felt like it was never going to end, he was enjoying inflicting this torture onto her. She could feel and taste copper on the back of her throat, before she knew it she was coughing up blood.

She just wanted it to stop, for the pain to end, and for Maura to not be screaming and crying her name in fear and panic. It was one of the worst sounds she had ever heard.

Suddenly the strong arms that held her up let her go, and she couldn't do anything from stopping herself crumbling to the ground. She had already lost too much blood, sleep was coming to claim her. Whilst lying on her stomach her hair was roughly yanked and lifted up. 'Oh no, you don't get to die yet dyke, you get to watch'. With a wicked wink and coy smile 'the leader' took out his bloodied knife and started to walk over to an hysterical Maura.

What she saw broke her heart, he had struck Maura in the face, not too hard to make her unconscious but enough to daze her. He started to cut away at her dress. When he had completely removed the offending clothing, he punched her again in the stomach. Maura doubled over in pain, which caused her to land on the ground in a heap. He circled her like a wild animal circles its prey before moving in for the kill.

By this point the other gang members had gotten hold of Maura's arms and were pinning her down on her stomach. 'The leader' had made quick work of cutting away her lace bra and panties. Jane was trying to get to her knees, desperately trying to get to her wife. But each time she tried to get up, all it resulted in was her coughing up more blood. As she collapsed to the ground a third time, she watched in horror as he violated Maura from behind.

With the last bit of strength she had remaining she had managed to drag herself across the ground towards her terrified wife who was facing her. All the while leaving a trail of blood on the cold, hard ground.

Jane was almost at arm's length from Maura, with the last bit of will she had left she tried to reach out for her. The last thing she saw and heard was her wife being brutally raped and the rapist telling her to scream out Jane's name before the darkness finally surrounded her.


	2. Bleeding Out - Chapter 2

_**WARNING TRIGGERS - GRAPHIC RAPE - ASSAULT**_

 _Beep. Beep. Beep._ _What the hell is that noise? Beep. Beep. Beep. What the fuck is it? I'm not getting up yet, it's too early._

Her mind was working over-time to try and figure out what that incessant beeping was. Just when she thought she had it, she thought she heard her name being called.

'Jane'

Is someone calling? Who would be calling me?

'Jane, can you open your eyes for me?'

 _Open my eyes? Of course i can open my eyes if i want too. And whose voice is that?_ It was harder than she thought to try and open her eyes. She couldn't understand why, her eyelids felt like lead.

 _Wait, why can i only see out of one eye? Fuck that light hurts._ So she closed them shut again. She became suddenly aware that she had something down her throat. Her instinct was to try and pull it out, when she did it felt like sandpaper being rubbed against her windpipe. She was aware of voices around her and some sort of commotion. But she didn't care she wanted the tube gone. It suddenly all came rushing back to her, they had been attacked. She needed to know if Maura was ok.

It become almost frenzied now to remove the tube and get out of bed to search for her wife. The EKG machine was beeping like crazy. Indicating a rise in heart beat activity. By the time the doctors had come into the room the breathing tube had been completely removed. And Jane was in the process of trying to remove all her drip lines. ' _Fuck, everything hurts, i need to get to her now!'._

'Nurse, we need to sedate her now' the doctor said. Because Jane was so preoccupied with what she was doing. He found it very easy to inject his patient with a sedative. After a few seconds the effects started to show. She became drowsy then collapsed on the bed. Slowly her heartbeat was starting to beat normal again.

After the doctor had checked that she hadn't pulled any of her stitches out on her stomach he was satisfied that Jane was stable and comfortable, he turned to one of the nurses in the room. 'Nurse Adler, please can you call the relatives and inform them that Jane is awake'. 'Yes Doctor', the petite redhead said.

With one final look at her vitals and making a note on her chart he went to do his rounds

* * *

It had only been 2 weeks since that awful day, 2 weeks since the day they stole her will from her. She felt they had took her life too, all she felt now was immense fear, anger and sadness. But she couldn't tell anyone, she felt Jane's needs were more important. Of course everyone knew what had happened. But thankfully they had given her space and not asked her about it.

Yes that bastard had defiled her and raped her but they had almost killed the love of her life. Instead they left her for dead, and now she was in a coma, and might never wake up again.

' _You're ass is so tight', she could feel his hot breath on her face. As he was pounding her hard, she could feel all his bodyweight on her back. Even if they hadn't pinned her arms down she still wouldn't have been able to move._

' _Scream for her, tell her how my cock is pounding you', he laughed like it was just a game. A laugh so vile that will always stay with her. She didn't want to give him the satisfaction of crying out. But she could see her wife was seriously hurt, even fatally wounded. She could see her trying so desperately get to her. So she called out to her, not for him but for her. 'Jane, Jane i love you'._

 _This seemed to make him mad, without warning he flipped her onto her back and penetrated her hard. If before was bad, this was worse. He was rougher and harder, i felt like my insides were on fire. He groped and bit my breasts hard, causing me to cry out in pain. His pounding increased faster and faster until i could feel he had ejaculated inside of me. All i could do was cry, when he pulled out of me he wiped himself off in my hair. After that the gang just moved on, like it was an everyday occurrence._

 _I just laid there, frozen to the spot, it hurt to move, i could feel warmth between my legs, when i touched down and brought my hand back up, my hand was covered in blood. I was already starting to feel woozy. I glanced over to where Jane was and she was so still. My heart sank, i started to go into panic mode. There was so much blood. I could see that she had some fracturing to her face and head. I checked for a pulse, there was one but it was weak. I grabbed my phone out of my clutch bag and dialled 911._

' _911 operator, what is your emergency'_

' _We've been attacked, my...my wife is...is...dying', she said as she was holding the bleeding and broken body of Jane in her arms._

' _What is your location' the operator asked and it was the last thing Maura heard before passing out._

Maura was still shaken by the attack and the phone ringing made her jump, she made her way to the island in the kitchen. She didn't recognise the number so she answered with her full name. 'Dr Maura Isles speaking'. 'Yes, hello Dr Isles, this is nurse Adler from Mass General, i'm just calling to inform you that you're wife gained consciousness this afternoon'.

Her heart skipped a beat, she thought she was dreaming. 'What! Is she awake now?, can i see her?'. She could hear a slight pause on the other end of the line which filled her with dread. 'We had to sedate her, as she was very agitated and distressed when she awoke. She managed to pull out her breathing tube and most of her IV's before we could calm her'.

'Oh my god, is she ok? Is she breathing on her own now? She asked.

'Yes Dr Isles, she is breathing on her own however her oxygen levels are still a little low, and unfortunately she did do some damage when she pulled her tube out. So for now we are keeping an oxygen mask on her at all times. You're more than welcome to see her in about 2 hrs. By then the sedative should have worn off'.

She had never felt so relieved in all her life, she desperately wanted to see those velvety brown eyes again. To lose herself in them, when Jane looked at her. 'Thank you Nurse Adler for the phone call, i'll see you soon'.

* * *

The next time she woke up her head still felt groggy, and her throat was very painful. She went to move whatever was on her face and as she tried to do so, she thought she heard an angel speak.

'Jane, hun, you need to leave it on. It's helping you to get more oxygen into your lungs'.

 _Wait, no, it's Maura._ Glancing to her left she saw those hazel eyes she longed to see. Even though she was smiling at her, she could tell she was hurting, she could see a faint red mark on her left cheek. No doubt from when that bastard hit her. 'I'm so sorry'.That was all it took, uncontrollable sobs started to shake her body.

Maura was taken aback by this, Jane was normally such the strong one, who would try and hide her emotions. She had only ever seen her wife this upset before and that was when her partner, Frost had died.

'Oh sweetie', she wished she could take her wife's pain away, to try and comfort her she gently placed her head on Jane's stomach. Making sure it wasn't on the area where she was stabbed. She could feel Jane's hand on the back of her head, she gently took it and placed a soft kiss onto the palm of it before slowly caressing the top of her hand over her scar. This action always seemed to comfort her in some way.

Angela had arrived at the hospital not long after Maura, she was just about to enter her daughter's room when she had heard her say she was sorry. It broke her heart to see it. Quietly and discreetly she backed up out of the room. She felt this was something that they needed to share with each other and without an audience. Thankfully she saw Frankie and Korsak making there way down the corridor. It didn't take long for her to meet them halfway.

'Ma, is everything ok? Is Janie alright?' The Rizzoli matriarch held up her hand to stop her son from asking anymore questions and glanced from him and then to the older detective before speaking. 'Jane's fine, but i think we should all head to the canteen and grab a coffee and leave them alone for a while'.

She didn't really need to say anymore than that, they all knew that Jane hated to be seen in a weaken state. And crying uncontrollable would be one of these occasions. So off they went in silent agreement to go and drink sub par coffee to give their daughter, sister and friend some space.

After the crying had stopped, they just looked at each other with sad eyes. Maura got up and kissed her wife on the forehead. 'I'm just going to freshen up', then made her way to the bathroom.

Jane gave her a small smile, truth be told she needed a few minutes alone aswell to compose herself. And that was when she noticed it. The blonde seemed to be in some pain when walking, and when she returned it seemed uncomfortable for her to sit properly.

'Maura' she asked in more than her usual raspy voice.

'Yes my love' she replied.

She tried to sit up properly in bed before she asked her the truth, already knowing the answer. Immediately pain shot through abdomen, 'ah...shit'.

The blond was there instantly helping Jane to sit up properly in bed. 'No cursing, and be careful, you've already had two surgeries to repair the damage from being stabbed'. And you also have a few broken ribs'. After she was sure she was comfortable she decided to stand instead of trying to sit.

'Sorry' she said trying to give her that cheeky rizzoli grin. 'And i wasn't stabbed, whatever this was', indicating to her stomach. 'Wasn't stabbing someone'. The atmosphere in the room suddenly changed. The elephant in the room was being acknowledged.

Maura shifted awkwardly on her feet, playing with her wedding ring, turning the band over and over again. She was fidgeting, and she never fidgeted.

'How bad Maura?'.

There it was, the question she was dreading, and she couldn't lie either and Jane knew that. Her lips became suddenly dry, she licked them and took a deep breath before answering. Glancing down to the floor she told her wife everything.

' _We have two females, approximately between 35 and 40 years old' the EMT said as he moved to the first gurney to his left. 'This one is a Detective Jane Rizzoli-Isles with BPD, she has a deep face laceration that looks like it was made with a knife. A single knife wound to her lower abdomen, and to her head and face there has been severe trauma. Possible eye, cheek and nose fractures. Also possible skull fracture with a bleed on her left side as left pupil is fixed and dilated. Had to intubate as oxygen saturation is below 60 and falling, this could be due to feeling at least three broken ribs, maybe more. Blood pressure diastolic 38 over 60 and dropping'. Satisfied he had relayed all the essential medical information he went over to the other gurney._

' _This is Dr Maura Isles-Rizzoli our local Chief M.E, she has been sexually assaulted. To her face there is a deep laceration on her left cheek, there are extensive contusions all over her body. Particularly on her breasts and the tops of her thighs just below her vagina. Looks like there might have been some vaginal and anal tearing as there was blood present at the scene. Pupils are responsive, oxygen levels are normal, Blood pressure diastolic 54 over 60'. The EMT was satisfied he had done enough and left to return back to his ambulance._

 _The trauma doctor decided to deal with Jane first as she wasn't stable and her vitals were dropping. 'Call theatre, we need to take her to surgery to have a look and fix the damage to her abdomen, then call X-ray to run some CT scans, but first we need to get her stabilised'. The doctors and nurses were prodding and poking Jane with many different needles and medical instruments._

 _The other trauma team were assessing Maura, they were not as concerned with her injuries as they were her wifes. Her vitals were normal, apart from a little bit of low blood pressure. Which was normal given what had happened to this poor woman on the bed. As one of the nurses were inserting a drip line into Maura's hand she started to regain consciousness._

'Dr Isles-Rizzoli, can you hear me?' the doctor said shining a light into her eyes. 'You're in the hospital, you've been attacked'.

'Jane….Jane where is she?' she managed to get out without her voice breaking.

'She's in the next cubicle, the trauma team are working on her'.

That did nothing to calm her, if they were working on her meant she wasn't doing very well. Just then she could hear the alarms going off and the commotion happening next to her.

'Doctor, her bp's dropping, she's going into cardiac arrest' one of the nurses said. The doctor started doing chest compressions on the detective to get her heart beating again.

Maura couldn't believe what she was seeing, she couldn't lose her now. She wouldn't survive without her. She tried to call out her name when she rolled onto her side, clutching her stomach and screaming in pain.

The doctor looked down at the blonde woman in front of him and noticed the pool of blood that was not gathering between her legs. 'She's hemorrhaging, and BP is falling, we need to get her into surgery NOW! Or she's going to bleed out'. One of the nurses placed the oxygen mask over Maura's face. Without having to say any more, the team were already moving the bed towards the elevators to take her to surgery.

The last thing she remembers seeing was them shocking her wifes body with the defibrillator and not knowing whether she was alive or dead.


	3. Time Stops - Chapter 3

It had been two weeks since Jane had woken up from her coma. And as per usual she couldn't get out of the hospital quick enough. They had told her that if her white cell count was ok that they would consider sending her home. As not long after she had woken up she had developed a serious infection where she had, had her surgery.

'So what's the verdict doc? Do i get to go home today or not? She was almost giddy with the anticipation, she just wanted to sleep in her own bed. She hated hospitals.

The doctor shifted closer to her bed, he flipped through the charts he was holding in his hands. 'Morning Jane, how are you feeling today?'.

'I'm good doc, i just really want to go home' looking at the doc with puppy dog eyes.

'Alright Jane, let me just look at your latest lab results, your temperature is normal, and you're white blood cell count is normal, which is excellent it means there's no sign of infection. I'm quite happy for you to leave today'. Before Jane could respond he jumped in again. 'On one condition, that you will have someone there to help you?'.

'That won't be a problem doc, my wife is a doctor and i have a helicopter mother'. Her elation was evident, she called out to the doctor as he was leaving her room. 'Thanks doc', she leaned over to grab her cell. Pressing 1, speed dialing her wife she waited for her to answer to tell her the good news.

'Hello Jane is everything ok?' God she loved to hear the honey blonde's voice, it didn't matter what she said, she always found it so sexy. 'Yeah, yeah everything is great, more than great really, the doc said i can come home today'.

'Oh Jane that is wonderful, i'll come and get you as soon as possible, say in one hour?'

Jane didn't care when, obviously sooner the better, the most important thing was that she was going home. 'It's ok hun, whenever you can get here, i would try and leave myself but they won't let me. Apparently i need looking after'. She said with a deep throated laugh.

'I agree with them Jane, you had serious life threatening injuries, which you're still recovering from and will take some time to heal from'.

Letting out a big sigh she continued 'i know Maura, just get here as soon as you can, oh and Maura, i love you'.

'I love you too Jane'. With a click on the line the call ended. She put her cell on the side table next to her bed and then slumped into the mattress. Without even realising it she suddenly felt really tired. Maybe it was all the medication she was taking for the pain, but she drifted off into a peaceful slumber.

 _Jane wanted tonight to be perfect, all she ever wanted was to shower her beautiful wife with love. She knew she wasn't the most easiest of people to love and get along with. She was stubborn, pig headed and impulsive. But Maura didn't seem to mind, she knew that ultimately when she did act on these feelings, her heart was always in the right place. 'Hey Maura, you look absolutely stunning tonight'._

 _Maura had decided to wear this gorgeous floral dress, it was low cut but not too low as to be sluty but enough to show off her ample bosom in a sophisticated way._

 _As she was watching Maura walk ahead of her, her feet felt like lead. She looked down and her feet had disappeared into the pavement. What the fuck! She tried not to panic, but when she looked back up to call to Maura, her stomach dropped and she could feel the bile rising in the back of her throat._

 _There in front of her, the love of her life was being violated, the bastard who had stabbed her was laughing._

' _See Jane, you just let me fuck your wife, and you did nothing to stop me', he then licked the side of the blonde's face, whilst still continuing to rape her._

 _She's never felt so powerless in all her life, all she could do is stand there and watch, hearing her wife's screams ringing in her ears._

' _You can never protect those closest to you', he gave Jane a little smirk before placing a knife against her wifes throat and cutting it slowly. The screams from the blonde being replaced with gurgling, and thrashing until she was still, lying in a pool of blood'._

Jane woke screaming and thrashing in her hospital bed, she had watched Maura being killed in front of her eyes. She could hear her heart pounding in her ears. In the pit of her stomach she felt nothing but dread and fear. Her clothes felt wet, drenched in sweet. In her nightmare induced state she had not heard Maura enter her room.

'Jane, sweetheart, it's ok, you just had a nightmare'. The blond gently brushed her wife's cheek. Instantly she could feel her start to relax under her touch.

As Maura continued to brush Jane's cheek she shushed her like one would do to a child to calm them. Slowly her breathing started to become even as her body and mind started to relax back to normal. The brunettes eyes landed on hers, the glazed look melting away as recognition started to come to her.

'Do you want to talk about it?', the blonde asked with concern. She shook her head, Maura knew that she wouldn't tell her. Well not straight away anyway. And she knew exactly what she was having nightmares about. As she too was having nightmares of that bastard.

Jane hated feeling vulnerable, but she was glad that her wife hadn't pushed her to talk about it. 'I didn't hear you come in'.

'Clearly' the blonde replied with a warm, loving smile.

She started to shift in the bed 'can we go home now?', she hoped her voice sounded strong and not too weak. 'I just want to be in my own bed and to be able to lay with my wife'.

Maura felt her heart swell with love and pride, she too had missed her wife very much. 'I've missed you too'. Leaning towards the brunette in the bed, she placed a warm, tender kiss on those lips that were hers and only hers. Pulling back and releasing her grip 'but first we need to get you changed, you can't go home in those pj's'. Giving her a mischievous look.

Jane knew the real reason why she didn't want her to go home in the clothes she was wearing. She was soaking wet in sweat from her nightmare, and that no-one, not even her, should be caught dead in public wearing those pj's. Always fashion conscious her wife is, that this made her smile.

The blonde helped her wife get changed, due to Jane's injuries she couldn't raise her arms very high as the broken ribs she sustained were still healing. And she had, had major surgery which meant she still couldn't stand up right, due to the pain.

There was silence between the two woman, it was the first time Maura had seen Jane naked since the attack. When she had helped remove her wet top she had to try and stifle a gasp. All over her lover's body was covered in bruisers, the worst areas were around the ribs. The bruising was very severe, a deep purple, almost black colour.

It was also the first time she had seen the true extent of the area they had operated on. Her entire abdomen was covered in a large bandage. She tried not to stare too much, she hoped she hadn't made Jane feel uncomfortable. She knew eventually they would have to talk about it, and would have to discuss what happened to the both of them. Maura helped Jane with the last few adjustments to her clothing. She didn't know what to say, all she could do was show her how much she loved her wife by planting a tender, yet love filled kiss on the italian woman's lips.

After several minutes there was a knock on the door, both the woman glanced up to see Jane's doctor stood there with a wheelchair. 'Sorry ladies, did i disturb you'.

'No, not at all doctor, please come in', Maura moved towards the door and opened it fully so the doctor could enter the room with the wheelchair.

'Right Jane, i have some paperwork you need to sign, as well as some instructions you need to follow'. He had met patients from law enforcement before, they were stubborn and sometimes reckless and hated being confined. And Jane was all the above.

'I know that Doctor Isles-Rizzoli here will follow my instructions down to the line, however i know how stubborn you are, so i need you to listen to me very carefully Jane. Ideally, you should be kept in for at least another 3-4 weeks'.

Jane was about to protest, raising his hand to silence her he continued. 'Yet, i am letting you go home early, as a) home is a better environment to recover in and b) your wife is a doctor. Otherwise i would keep you here. You are to listen to your wife at all times, take your medication as instructed and to use this wheelchair if you need to move about'.

'I promise doc, i'll listen to my wife, i'll be good'. Jane couldn't say it fast enough, almost feeling like a child.

Although he was sceptic that she would abide by all of his rules, he knew ultimately that after what both these women had been through, home would be a good place for them to start to heal. 'And to the really important bit, you will need to come back to the hospital to have your stitches removed from your abdomen and your face'.

That last part made both women freeze, they had not even mentioned the wound on Jane's face. Neither had seen it either, and frankly they didn't want to. 'It was a very deep laceration, almost to the bone, that is why it has taken longer to heal. 'However until it is fully healed and the stitches removed we can then discuss whether or not you want to be referred to a plastic surgeon'.

He knew he had hit a nerve, there was nothing but silence in the air, he handed Jane the paperwork, she signed the documents without saying a word.

'OK Jane, everything looks in order', looking over the paperwork. 'If you have any questions please don't hesitate to call me', handing over his business card.

Reaching out she took the card from him and handed it to Maura, otherwise she would lose it if she didn't. 'Thanks doc, for everything'. Giving him a small smile.

'You're welcome Jane, and look after each other'. He gave them both a genuine smile and wink and then he was gone.

When Maura had called Angela to tell her that her baby was being let home from the hospital she was overjoyed. She had decided to make Jane her favourite meal, homemade gnocchi from grandma's recipe.

Since being in the hospital her daughter had been looking thinner than usual, to be honest Maura had lost weight too. So tonight when they both got home she was going to feed them until they burst. She was making enough to feed the 5000, so at least she knew they would have plenty of leftovers to eat for the next couple of days.

When life got stressful or too hard to handle she would always cook, it was the only thing that relaxed her and cleared her thoughts. After that first initial phone call that's all she did. Was cook.

 _Frankie always liked coming into the Dirty Robber, not only for it being a cop hangout but he genuinely liked what Korsak had done to the place. 'Hey Ma, could you whip me up something to eat?'_

 _Mama Rizzoli could never refuse her son, he has a face of an Angel that would melt any heart. That's probably why he got away with a lot of stuff when he was a child. That and Jane was stubborn enough to take the fall for him. 'Of course son, how about i make you some sweet potato fries and a nice cheeseburger'._

 _Frankie watched his mother leave to head to the kitchen to place his order with the chef. After about ten minutes she returned to his table with his food. 'Thanks ma'._

 _But before she could reply Frankie's phone started to ring._

 _He picked up his phone and looked to see who was calling, the caller ID said Korsak. 'Hey Korsak, whats up?, yeah she's with my now'._

 _Angela glanced over to her son, his facial expressions started to scare her. There was something wrong, terribly wrong._

' _Where on our way', Frankie was up out of his seat before he had even finished the phone call._

 _The older woman had never seen her son this scared or worried before. She was frightened. 'Frankie, what's happened?'._

 _He grabbed his mother's hands and tried to compose himself, he took a deep breath and then began. 'It's Jane and Maura, they were attacked, the information is still coming in but one of them is seriously hurt. We need to get to General Hospital now'._

' _Oh my god, not my babies'. The older woman wanted to cry but knew if she broke down now, she would be no use to anyone. So she would hold herself together until she knew what had happened._

 _When they arrived at the hospital, Korsak was there to greet them and to fill them in on what had happened._

 _The older detective could see the look of fear in the Rizzoli's eyes. 'Firstly, there both alive'._

 _Angela released her breath which she didn't know she was holding in. Frankie just stood there listening intently. 'I don't know all the details yet, only that Jane was beaten and stabbed, and that Maura was sexually assaulted'._

' _Oh my god', the young rizzoli could feel his blood boiling. Not only had they hurt his big sister they had raped his friend too._

 _The older woman felt like her heart was breaking, she couldn't contain it anymore, 'No, not them'. Sob after sob racked her body as she started to slide to the floor. Both men managed to catch her in time and helped her sit in one of the many chairs in the corridor._

' _Ma, they're going to be fine, they're gonna get through this'. Taking the older woman's hand in his own. 'And so are we, but we need to be strong now, for them'._

 _The older woman understood what her son was saying, shaking her head in agreement._

' _I'm gonna find the doctor to get more information' Korsak said before heading towards the reception counter._

 _A few minutes later he returned with one of the doctor's, 'Hi, i'm Doctor Sanchez, i'm one of the trauma doctors dealing with Jane and Maura'._

 _Frankie took the doctor's hand and shook it 'Hi, doc im Frankie Rizzoli and this is my mother Angela' pointing to the woman sat to his left. 'Jane is my sister and Maura is my sister-in-law, are they ok?'._

 _The doctor hesitated for a few seconds, he wasn't going to give them the news they wanted to hear. 'Maura was brought in with some cuts and bruises, she has a laceration to her cheek which will require a few stitches . However the sexual assault she suffered was severe, causing her to hemorrhage, she is in surgery now to repair the damage'._

 _Korsak couldn't believe what he was hearing, he had to raise his hand to his mouth so no one could hear the cry that had escaped._

 _Frankie by this point had sunk into one of the chairs next to his mother, he had put his arm around her to try and comfort the now distraught woman._

' _We believe that she will make a full recovery', swallowing the lump that had formed in his throat he continued. 'Jane's injuries however are more severe, she sustained major head and face trauma, as well as possible internal bleeding, suffering with broken or cracked ribs. She has also suffered a knife wound to her abdomen. She too is currently in surgery to repair the damage'._

 _Pausing before he delivered the final blow, 'Jane is in critical condition, she has already had one cardiac arrest, we will try our best to save your daughter. Unfortunately, i think you need to prepare for the worst. She may not survive the night'._

 _He hates delivering bad news to relatives, he has been a doctor for over 20 years and it still never gets any easier. 'I'm sorry, i will keep you informed on her progress'._

Angela was pulled back into reality and away from that fateful memory by the timer on the counter ringing, telling her that her double chocolate chip muffins were ready. The older woman turned off the timer and grabbed an oven mitt and took the perfectly baked muffins out of the oven and left them on a rack to cool down.

Thinking she had heard the sound of a car pull up she headed towards the window and looked out into the drive-way. Maura's Prius had just pulled into the driveway, relief and fear filled the older woman. She wondered if any of their lives would be the same again, and if the girls will be able to overcome and move on from what had happened to them.


	4. Disappointment - Chapter 4

It had been nearly a week since Jane had come home from the hospital, and for the most part she was taking it easy. She was making sure she wasn't overdoing it. And to be honest her body ached and throbbed, so the little movement she did the better.

As much as she loved being home it wasn't the same, things had changed. At first Maura tried to make Jane as comfortable as possible, but she noticed that she was struggling. That she was fighting an internal struggle to be composed and ok. She also noticed that when she did try and touch or kiss her wife, the blonde would tense or jump slightly at the contact. She expected this, but she also expected her wife to talk to her to tell her how she was feeling. Jane was sure sometimes she would hear her crying in the shower.

She suggested that she should sleep in the guesthouse, at first Maura argued that it was unnecessary, until Jane pointed out that climbing the stairs is extremely painful and exhausting for her. Which wasn't a lie. It hurt like a bitch. But she could see the sense of relief that washed over her. They were both hurting and trying to find how to heal.

Apart from pleasantries and the odd conversation they hadn't really spoken to each other, as the days wore on Jane just decided to stay in the guesthouse and not bother going to the main house anymore. And it felt like her wife was doing the same with her. Maybe it was for the best she thought.

To give each other some space and time, after all each night Jane would wake to the sounds of her own screaming and covered in sweat. If she was having nightmares, so was Maura.

She would get visitors regularly checking up on her anyway, so she was never alone.

She woke up nightly from nightmares and covered in sweat. Once she had told herself it was only a dream and had to remember where she was. Her clothes and sheets were drenched in sweet, again!. This was becoming a daily routine of changing the sheets and showering..

Once she was freshened up she did her usual morning routine of having a large cup of black coffee. It surprised her to hear a knock at the door, looking at her watch it was only 6:30am. Too early to be any of the Rizzoli clan. Slowly and tentatively she made her way to the door, opening it to find her wife stood there looking sexy in her silk lingerie. Her heart skipped a beat and she had to swallow hard.

"Morning, I hope I didn't wake you?" The blonde said.

Jane was still in shock as she hadn't expected to see her, and not this early in the morning either. "No, not at all, I'm just a little surprised, that's all".

Shifting from left to right the blonde felt nervous. _Why the hell do I feel nervous for?_ "Yes, I suppose one would, erm I just thought I should let you know, that you have your appointment today at 9am with the Otolaryngologist".

All she heard was googlespeak, "Sorry, my what?". The italian woman said with a smirk.

She allowed herself to let out a small laugh, followed by a smile. For a brief moment Maura felt like how it was before, but it was a fleeting moment. "It's your doctor, to have a look at erm...your face".

That was it, Jane's stomach sunk and the smile was gone instantly, she instantly felt fear. She didn't want to look at her, so she looked down to the ground instead. Neither one of them had seen her face since the attack. She didn't know what it was going to look like and she didn't want to know either.

Maura instantly saw her wife tense, and fear flash across her eyes. She did the only thing she could think of to somehow offer her comfort. She gently grabbed her hands and started to rub the tops of her scars. Few seconds later her eyes were met by the italians looking up at her.

"I'll be with you sweetheart, you're not alone in this, whatever the outcome is". Gently giving her hands a reassuring squeeze. A single tear fell down Jane's cheek, before she knew it her whole body was shaking with uncontrollable sobs. Sinking to the floor the blonde came with her, holding her. It broke Maura's heart to see her wife so fragile. She hoped that just by holding her she could feel the love she has for her.

* * *

The ride to the hospital was painful, Jane didn't want to talk, and Maura neither knew what to say either.

Jane wasn't really paying attention or taking any notice of where they were going in the hospital. It was Maura who had navigated the sterile corridors to make there way to the right department.

Surprisingly the waiting room was fuller than she had expected it to be. Jane hadn't bothered making eye contact with any of the other patients waiting. She didn't want to see why they were there. All she could do was to concentrate on not emptying the very little stomach contents she had in her. She could feel the bile rising in the back of her throat. She had to swallow hard to force it back down.

Maura had checked Jane in at the reception desk, turning back to face her wife she could tell Jane was struggling. She went to get her a cup of water from the cooler in the corner of the waiting area.

Satisfied she had filled the cup with enough, she made her way back to Jane, "I figured you could do with something to drink".

Jane looked up at the familiar voice, having Maura here was a big help. She always had that knack of calming her. "Anything a bit stronger than water in that?". She said with a smirk whilst taking the cup from her.

"I'm afraid not", although she was trying to put on a brave, she could see in Jane's eye that she was terrified. She sat next to the empty seat next to the italian woman. Without even speaking she took her left hand and gave her a gentle squeeze. Telling her that she is not alone in this.

They spent the next 15 minutes just sat in silence, until the phone on the receptionists desk rang and pulled them out of their own thoughts.

"Mrs Rizzoli-Isles the doctor will see you know"

Both Maura and Jane stood up together, the blond still holding her wife's hand. Jane led the way into the doctor's room.

"Hello, I'm Doctor Matthews", the cheery little man in glasses approached them with an extended hand.

Noticing that Jane was struggling to get the words out, Maura responded by taking the man's hand. "Hello Doctor Matthews, I'm Maura and this is my wife Jane".

Noticing that Jane was quite the small man gave Maura a warm smile and indicated for them both to sit.

"Jane, I've gone over your records extensively, hopefully I will be able to offer some advice and help you move forward in whatever decisions you take. First I need to take off the dressing and have a look at how your face is healing".

She didn't realise but on impulse she grabbed and squeezed Maura's hand hard. She was trembling, she was worried her voice would fail her to she just nodded her head to the doctor.

The doctor was trying to read his patient's body language and mental state. When dealing with trauma to the face, people react differently depending on the type of injury. However, Jane's wasn't going to be easy. The trauma inflicted had been deep, cutting through tissue and muscle, going in so deep that when he had looked at her scans you could see where the weapon used had scraped the bone.

"Is that ok with you Jane if we proceed? I will need you to lie down on the bed".

Again another nod from the brunette, Maura helped her to her feet, never letting go on her hand.

After Jane had laid down on his examining table, he went to get some latex gloves and some small scissors. He was hoping if the healing was done he would remove whatever stitches he could.

He lined up all his utensils on the little side table next to the examining table. "Ok Jane I'm going to start, first I will remove the outer dressings, then I will remove the dressing pad". He paused giving his patient time to process the information. "If everything looks ok, I will then proceed to remove all or most of the stitches and give the wound area a thorough clean".

"I suspect that you haven't done this, which is ok, the type of dressing that was applied was designed to aid healing by creating a seal over the wound. There designed to stay on for up-to four weeks at a time".

Jane closed her eyes as she felt the doctor removing the offending dressing that has been covering one half of her face. It will be nice to see with both eyes she suddenly thought.

Maura watched the doctor intently, making sure he didn't hurt her wife. When the final dressing pad had been carefully removed. She had to hold the gasp that she was scared of leaking from her lips. The wound looked red and angry. The trauma that Jane had suffered was significant, she could see it started just above her right eye and then ran down the right hand side of her face down to the bottom of her cheek.

Jane knew something was wrong as soon as she felt the dressing pad come off, Maura's hand squeezed her's. Swallowing hard she knew she needed to see it.

"I need to see".

The doctor knew this was always the hardest part of the job, he had seen the biggest and hardest of people break down into sobbing wrecks. "Just one second Jane, I just need to clean around your eye so you can open it. Because of having it covered for four weeks and with the healing process the eyelashes have become stuck together with dried expectorant".

This was torture for Jane, it was just prolonging the inevitable. Throughout all of this Maura was silent. If she hadn't still been holding Jane's hand you wouldn't have known she was in the room.

"Right Jane, take your time slowly opening your right eye, because it has seen no light for for weeks it might be unfocused and blurry. You might even find the light will hurt your eye and possibly make you feel sick, this is normal".

Jane listened to the doctor, slowly she opened her eyes, instantly her right eye felt like it was on fire. She shut her eyes tight. She tried again, this time she managed to keep it open, but it made her eye water. Once she had composed herself and was ready she held her hand out so she could take the mirror from the doctor's hand.

Once he had placed the mirror in her hands she had slowly raised the mirror, stopping as soon as her chin came into view. Taking a deep breathe she continued to move the mirror upwards until her face was in full view. Turning her head slightly to the left to show the right side of her face. All see saw was ugliness, anger started to rise inside her. Her breathing started to become deeper, flaring her nostrils each time she exhaled. She had had enough and held the mirror out in front of her, not to any one in particular just for someone to take the offending thing.

"Ok Jane, I have had a good look, I was able to remove all the stitches, from what i've seen it has healed well. Although the scar is still red and raw that area will be sensitive for a while. But within time the scar should shrink and fade". By this point the doctor was sat back behind his desk and Jane and Maura sat in the chairs again.

The doctor opened his drawer and pulled out some sunglasses. He handed them to Jane. "You will need to wear these for the next week, indoor and outside unless in a dimly lit room, it's so that you right eye can adjust to being exposed to light again".

Jane reluctantly took them and put them on. The sunglasses were strange, her left eye was covered with a clear glass whilst the right eye was tinted. She felt like an idiot wearing them.

Again she felt Maura gently squeezing her hand. She wished she would say something instead of sitting there in silence.

"So Jane, usually when we have some kind of facial trauma we can do skin grafts. You would need a full-thickness skin graft. This is done by getting skin from the donor, usually the buttox and thighs and placing it on the area, your face. Sometimes, the fat or cartilage under the donor skin may also be included. Using stitches, the donor area is closed and the grafted area is fixed to the surrounding skin. Dressings are placed to protect the wound from further injury and infection. These may be in the form of bandages, films, or foams, and may contain certain substances to help promote faster healing. The graft heals by taking up the blood supply from the wound and growing new blood vessels. This allows the new skin to survive".

Looking back and forth between the two woman he continues.

"Having a full-thickness skin graft may put you at risk of other problems. Since the graft is thick, it will need a long time to heal. It also has a higher risk of graft failure. This means that the grafted skin dies, and you may need another graft. Scars may form on both your donor area and grafted area. The grafted skin may not look or feel the way you expected it to".

Maura already knew what he was going to say, she had understood what he was getting at. She had to be strong now for Jane and she fought to hold back the tears that were starting to sting her eyes.

She turned to look at her wife, Jane looked back with a blank expression. She knew too what he was going to say. She didn't know how to feel. At this moment in time she just felt numb.

"I'm sorry Jane, because of the extent of the facial trauma, you would need several full thickness skin grafts. This would be very painful for you with no chance that they would take. Leaving many scars in the donor areas as well as scaring even more on your face, and the whole procedure possibly taking years to complete".

Jane was the first to stand up, she extended her hand out towards the doctor "Thank you for everything, and thank you for being honest".

The doctor took Jane's hand and shook it, he was having difficulty reading her. She was speaking in a calm manner, maybe she was in shock from the news. "You take care of yourself Jane, and if you have any questions then please don't hesitate to call me".

Jane gave his hand one more shake before walking out of his office leaving Maura a little dumbstruck. She went to race after her, quickly bidding the doctor a quick goodbye. Entering the waiting room she couldn't see Jane, running out into the hallway there was still no sight of her. ' _Where the hell are you Jane?'_ She thought.

Quickly reaching into her bag to find her phone, she pressed the speed dial number for Jane. "Come on Jane, please pick up". Nothing, the phone kept ringing until it eventually went to voicemail. " _Hi you've reached the phone of Jane Rizzoli, leave a message after the beep".. BEEP._

"Damn it Jane". She knew there was something wrong with her, she was too calm and far too composed. The usual Jane Rizzoli would have screamed and shouted and maybe broke a few things to get her frustration and disappointment out. She didn't want to panic, maybe Jane just needed time to think. She called Frankie, maybe he could help find her. After a few rings he answered.

"Hey Maura, what's up? What can I do for you?"

She didn't want to frighten the younger Rizzoli but there was no gentle way of doing this. "Hello Frankie, I don't want to alarm you but Jane has disappeared".

"What! What do you mean, disappeared?", Frankie was on the verge of running out of BRIC.

"We went to see Jane's facial specialist today, the news wasn't good. But Jane was too calm, she didn't react at all to the bad news, nothing, no screaming, crying or swearing. When I went to chase after he she was gone and she won't answer her phone. I'm sure everything is fine Frankie, and that she needs time to think but if i'm honest i'm a little worried".

Frankie could understand why she was a little worried, he knew his sister well, and being Italians we don't take any news calmly, we react, we are loud. "Ok Maura, i'm sure she is fine, let me just see if I can ping her phone".

"Thank you Frankie". She could hear on the other end of the phone the sounds of someone typing on a keyboard.

"We got her, she's just outside of the hospital, Shit!".

That can't be good, Maura thought. "What Frankie, what is it?"

He knew his sister could be stubborn. "I've just lost the signal, she's disabled her phone, I'm sorry Maura".

Maura had to sit down, she didn't like this one bit. "What are we going to do Frankie?".

A part of him wanted to go and search the streets for Jane, the other part of him wanted to go to Maura. But he knew there was nothing that any-one could do. "Sorry Maura, we can't do anything until Jane wants us too, she's too smart to leave a digital trail if she doesn't want us to find her". He continued before his sister in law could say anything else. "I'm sure she will be fine, knowing my sister she'll go to some dive of a bar, get wasted and come home and puke".

"Yes, your probably right, that does seem the way that she deals with things by getting drunk, thank you Frankie, please let me know if she contacts you". She hated feeling this helpless.

"Will do Maura, try not to worry". Sometimes he really wanted to slap some sense into his sister. Why does she have to go off and 'try' to deal with things on her own all the time. When she does it never ends well.

* * *

 _ **Just to clarify what an Otolaryngology's job is:**_

 _ **According to the American Academy of Otolaryngology - head and neck surgery this is there definition:** _ Otolaryngology (pronounced oh/toe/lair/in/goll/oh/jee) is the oldest medical specialty in the United States. Otolaryngologists are physicians trained in the medical and surgical management and treatment of patients with diseases and disorders of the ear, nose, throat (ENT), and related structures of the head and neck. They are commonly referred to as ENT physicians. The head and neck

The Head and Neck:- This area of the body includes the important functions of sight, smell, hearing, and the appearance of the face. In the head and neck area, otolaryngologists are trained to treat infections, benign (non-cancerous) and malignant (cancerous) tumors, **facial trauma** , and deformities of the face. **They perform both cosmetic plastic and reconstructive surgery.**


	5. Confrontation - Chapter 5

She knew she shouldn't have just 'ran away' like that. But she needed time to think, to deal with everything going on. And to process the fact that she would have to live with the horrible scar on her face. That bastard knew exactly what he was doing when he cut her, as if she survived the stabbing she would never forget what he did to her. Everytime she looks in the mirror or sees her own reflection she is reminded that she couldn't stop him from raping her wife.

She knew it was stupid to turn off her phone, but she knew that the first thing Maura would do is to ask Frankie to try and trace it. She's been a detective long enough to know that if you don't want to be found do not leave a digital footprint. She was glad that she had decided to wear her red sox hoodie this morning. At least with the hood up she could try and hide her face, and not get stared at by passerbys. With her hands in her hoodie pockets, she could feel what felt like notes. Pulling them out she was glad that there was at least $80. Enough to get drunk on. After walking in no particular direction, she ended up at some skanky dive of a bar.

It didn't really matter where she was as long as they sold hard liquor, and that was what she needed right now. She was glad as she entered the bar that is was poorly lit. She decided to take her new fashion accessory off and put them into her hoodie pocket.

Making her way over to the bar she asks the bartender for a glass and a bottle of JD. Without batting an eyelid he obliges. He must do this a lot in a place like this she thought. She goes to find a booth in the corner of the bar where she knows she will be left alone. The bartender finds her and puts the glass and the JD down onto the table. Without looking at him she hands him about $40. He doesn't say anything he just takes the money and walks away.

Picking up the bottle, it feels cold in her scarred hands, she pours herself a big shot and without any hesitation she throws the drink into her mouth. The cool amber liquid burning her throat as it makes its way down to her empty stomach.

* * *

It has been at least 10 hrs since the last time she has spoken to Jane, it's starting to get dark outside and as more time passes she is starting to really worry about her.

The front door opens and Frankie comes bounding in, he walks over to Maura and his mother both sat around the kitchen island drinking tea.

"Any news?" The young Rizzoli says as he gives Angela and Maura a hug.

Maura is starting to lose her composure more and more and can't seem to find the words, Angela can see this and answers for her instead. "No nothing, her phone is still turned off" she says as she gets up and puts her hands on her hips "we've even been to the Dirty Robber looking for her, your sister doesn't want to be found".

"I can't believe her sometimes, she is so selfish'" He says as he helps himself to a beer out of the fridge.

"This has nothing about being selfish Frankie, Jane is hurting" both Angela and Frankie stop what they are doing and look at Maura. "The truth is, we both are, this morning was probably the most time both me and Jane have spent together since bringing her home from the hospital, she won't talk to me about what happened, about THAT night. And if I'm honest I can't stand it when she touches me, which makes me feel like a horrible person, as it wasn't Jane that hurt me".

To Angela, her daughter in law looks like a lost child, on a mother's instinct she wraps her arms around her. At first she feels Maura tense, then slowly she relaxes into the hug. And that was all it took for her to break. She had been trying to hold it together for herself and for Jane that she had been repressing everything. This was her trigger that broke the dam.

In between sobs she was trying to talk, "if...anything….happens...to...Jane".

"Ssh, shh, nothing is going to happen to her" Angela placed a gentle kiss on the top of Maura's head.

Without warning there was sounds of breaking glass. All three of them listened and tried to figure out where the noise was coming from. Frankie was the first one to reach the back door, he opened it and the sound of breaking glass was coming from the guesthouse.

Without hesitation all three of them ran towards the front door, luckily for them it wasn't locked. Frankie was the first to enter, in the main living room was total carnage, anything with a reflective surface had been smashed. Which meant pretty much everything, from mirrors, tvs, picture frames, hell even vases.

It was a shocking scene, then there was another crash coming from the bedroom, racing to the room all three witnessed just in time Jane smashing her fist into the bedroom mirror over and over again. When she was done her attention landed on the full length mirror in the walk in closet. Frankie grabbed Jane just in time in a bear hug from behind and wouldn't let go of her for dear life to stop her from hurting herself any further.

"Janie, you need to stop, you need to calm down".

Jane was unresponsive, he could smell the alcohol on her, she was wasted. The more she screamed and kicked the tighter his hold on her got.

"FUCKING GET OFF ME!" through the drunken haze she was pretty sure that her younger brother had grabbed her. In her mind she had a job to do and he was stopping her from completing it.

Maura knew Jane would struggle with the news today, but it never even occurred to her that she would not like to see her face. Mentally she was kicking herself for her insensitivity to her wifes current fragility.

Bending down to the fighting detective on the floor, she gently cupped her wife's face. "Jane, my sweet, please calm down".

Frankie could feel his sister starting to relax in his arms. "Maura, it's working".

Again she continued to talk to her lover. "Everything is going to be ok, I love you". Without even thinking she gently placed a kiss on the newly formed scar.

Frankie released his grip enough on Jane so that Maura could pull her into her lap so she can cradle her.

She could feel the brunette relaxing beneath her, her breathing starting to become even, she was shushing her like a baby whilsts stroking her hair.

"Is she going to be ok, Maura?" the concern evident on the younger siblings face.

She couldn't lie to him, "Frankie, I honestly don't know".

In all the commotion they had forgotten about Angela, but now that it was under control she had disappeared. A few minutes later she had reappeared with Maura's medical bag, some clean towels and some warm water.

Angela glanced at the two women on the floor then to her son, "I noticed her hands were bleeding, I want to help".

In that moment Maura's heart swelled even more for the mother she always wanted. Angela may be difficult sometimes and very bossy, but she looked lost and generally didn't know what to do for her damaged daughter. After everything Jane had been through it was only those rare few people in her life that would ever see this vulnerable. And her mother wasn't usually one of them.

"Thank you Angela, In all the commotion I didn't even notice, do you mind holding her whilst I deal with the wounds".

Angela was there in a shot, cradling her baby girl from behind, Maura took her medical supplies and started to examine Jane's hands. They were a mess of cuts and gashes. Some of them were superficial, others needing stitches. Carefully and slowly she removed all the glass she could see. At some point she would need to take her for an x-ray to make sure no glass was left in. Whilst she was stitching the wounds she could hear the sound of broken glass. When she looked up Frankie was gone. She had assumed he wanted to keep himself busy so decided to clean up Jane's whirlwind of destruction.

Once she was happy with her handy work she carefully wrapped Jane's hands in bandages. The site of seeing her hands that way brought back painful memories of when Jane first met Hoyt. It sent a shiver down her spine.

Frankie had re-entered the bedroom and could see that Maura was lost in her own thoughts, slowly he approached the blonde as not to frighten her. "Come on Maura, let's move her to the bed and try and get her comfortable until she wakes up". He bent down and lifted his sister with some relative ease. He could feel how unusually bony she was, indicating that she hadn't been eating properly.

After satisfied that she was comfortable he propped a pillow underneath her back to keep her on her side just incase she was sick during the night.

All three of them retreated into the living room, leaving the bedroom door open so they could listen out for Jane if she needed help.

* * *

The last thing she remembered was going to that dive of a bar. She knew she had drunk a lot as her head was pounding and the room was spinning. She could also taste the stale vomit in the back of her throat.

Slowly she tried to roll onto her back, letting out a groan as she did so. Everything ached, and both her hands hurt. She closed her eyes to try and settle her nauseous stomach. Suddenly she felt something cold and soothing on her forehead. When she opened her eyes, Maura was staring down at her.

"Hey, welcome back, I suspect your extremely thirsty and have a terrible headache. I've put a glass of water and two tylenol on the bedside table". She then gently bent down and kissed brunettes forehead.

Jane suddenly felt uneasy, bits of the night came back to her but they were a mess and confusing. In the pit of her stomach she felt like she had hurt someone. Stammering and breaking eye contact with her wife she asks "did..did...I...hurt..any...anyone?".

This broke Maura's heart, after everything she was more concerned with everyone else's well being. "Jane, look at me, please".

Reluctantly the brunettes eyes met hers. "The only person you hurt was yourself and when we found you, you were breaking all the mirrors and you were very intoxicated and extremely angry".

Jane just laid there looking at her wife, trying to read the blonde in-front of her. She could see that she loved her but there was something else. Something she couldn't read. Then she heard it.

"Jane, I love you with all my heart, and you know I would do anything for you". With a heavy sigh she continues. "I can't keep doing this". Rising off the side of the bed she starts to pace the floor.

"You're leaving me, aren't you?" Jane pushed herself up into a sitting position and she followed the blonde pacing the room and noticed she was playing with her wedding band.

The blonde stopped dead in her tracks, quickly rushing to the side of Jane's bed and gently holding one of the bandaged hands. "No, I am not, but we both can't keep living like this, we need to be able to talk to each other about the attack, but first we need to be able to deal with what happened to each other".

Jane held her head held low, feeling ashamed that she felt like she had pushed both of them towards this point. "Don't you dare, don't you dare blame yourself Jane Clementine Rizzoli-Isles".

She hated it when Maura used her full name.

"The only one to blame is that bastard that did this to us both". It was rare when she swore but seeing her wife blaming herself just made her so angry. "We both need to see a counselor, one was recommended to me but I haven't called, since I was so concerned looking after your wellbeing after you came out of the hospital I just brushed it aside". Taking a deep breath she continues. "Truth be told I am scared to re-live that night. But this is destroying our marriage and destroying us individually, especially you".

Jane didn't know what to say, the tears she had been fighting to keep back, suddenly broke, and she was sobbing uncontrollably on the bed. She wasn't expecting to feel the gentle arms of her wife envelope her. She had learnt not to touch her since coming out of hospital as she would tense and flinch at the slightest touch.

Lifting her head up she looks into the blonde's eyes, "I'm so sorry, I love you so much".

"l know my sweet, I love you too, we'll both get the help we need and we will survive this". Seeing Jane so vulnerable and fragile broke her heart. They both just sobbed. The walls they both had erected came crumbling down. Vocalising both their pain and hurt.

Angela had decided to stay the night, if Jane was already at breaking point, then Maura wasn't too far behind. She felt that neither of them should be left on their own right now. Her and Maura had taken it in turns during the night to keep checking on Jane, to make sure she hadn't rolled on her back incase she vomited. She hadn't realised Jane was even awake when she had come to ask if Maura needed anything. Hearing them both talking she just stood at the bedroom doorway just watching the scene unfold before her, she knew she shouldn't have been eavesdropping. But watching her daughter breakdown like that was shocking and heartbreaking. The last time she had seen her so upset was when she was a child. As soon as she was an adult she kept things from her. It would have been such a beautiful display of love and affection between the two woman. Unfortunately the reality of it was much different indeed.

* * *

 **I hope i got the medication jargon right as in the UK we call it Paracetamol. Thanks. :-)**


	6. The Confessions - Chapter 6

_**TRIGGER WARNING - MENTIONS OF RAPE**_

It had been a day since Jane's breakdown and Maura's confession. They both had agreed that they would see counsellors.

Maura had been recommended to see a Dr Jessica Fullman, she specialised in sexual and violent trauma to woman. When she had suggested that Jane see her as well she had expected the Italian to be resistant and fight her to not go. But when she didn't even refuse that's when she knew that something was deeply wrong with her.

They had arrived together but would be seeing Dr Fullman one at a time. They had agreed that for now, this would be the best course of action until they both felt comfortable discussing how they felt about the attack to each other.

Maura had left Jane in what you would describe as a day room, there was a little bit of everything in it. A little desktop fridge, a coffee machine and a big flat screen TV. She had heard the sound of what must be some sort of sports channel as she entered the Dr's room. Letting herself have an inner laugh as she thought about Jane watching baseball.

The first thing she notices is the smell, there is a pleasant aroma of Jasmine. Instantly her google brain tells her that Jasmine has calming properties that helps lower anxiety. She notices that there is minimal furniture in the room. It makes it calming, and welcoming. On one of the two very comfortable looking chairs was whom she presumed was one Dr Jessica Fullman.

The very young looking redhead in front of her does not rise out of her chair but gives her a very reassuring smile and gestures for her to sit in the other chair in front of her.

"Hello and welcome, I am Dr Fullman but you can call me Jess" she says with a smile. "And you are Dr Maura Rizzoli-Isles, correct?".

Maura makes herself comfortable in the chair opposite the Dr. "Yes I am, but please call me Maura". She says returning the smile back.

"Very well, Maura" she says with a smile again. "Let me first just inform you that whatever is discussed, or happens in my office will stay confidential. You will not be forced to discuss events or actions that you don't want to. This is a safe zone, nothing will hurt you here". The Dr stops and looks at the blonde woman in front of her. She can already tell by her body language that she is anxious. "You can start whenever you want and tell me whatever you choose, ok?"

Maura likes this woman, she makes her feel at ease. Slowly she starts to relax and let the anxiety she feels wash away. Taking a deep breath to calm her thoughts she begins, "I am here, because myself and my wife were both attacked on our wedding anniversary". She swallows hard and presses on. "My wife was nearly killed and disfigured in the attack and I...I….".

"It's ok Maura, you don't have to tell me right now". The Dr says in a soothing and comforting voice.

Maura feels if she doesn't say it now then she might lose the nerve later on. Composing herself once more, she says it out loud what she has feared to say since the attack. "I was raped".

* * *

Jane had lost track of the time and almost forgot where she was, she had been enjoying catching up on watching the recent red sox game. It wasn't until she heard Maura's voice that she remembered.

She turns off the TV and walks over to her wife, her face was flushed and her eyes were red. She can tell she has been crying hard. She really wants to hold her and to hug her. But it has to be Maura's decision. "You ok?...well I know you're not ok otherwise we wouldn't be here, wait that's not what I meant.."

Maura holds Jane's bandaged hands to calm her, she can see the tension and anxiety rising in her. "Jane, it's ok, just take a deep breath".

Jane stops shifting from side to side, she closes her eyes and inhales deeply. Just feeling Maura's touch was instantly calming. When she opens her eyes, hazel eyes are staring right back at her. "I'm sorry, I'm..just..scared".

This confession from Jane melted Maura's heart, that she was willing to be so open about how she felt. That's when she knew that they both were going to be ok. "I know, me too, but I'm going to be ok, and you will too". Leaning forward she places a gentle kiss on the scar on her wifes face, giving her a loving smile.

Jane nods her head and takes another deep breath before letting go of her wifes hands and enters the office of Dr Fullman.

Jane hasn't seen Dr Fullman yet, and the first thing that struck her was how young she looks.

"Welcome Jane, please take a seat", the redhead in front of her says.

Reluctantly she positions herself in front of the chair, deciding whether or not to sit down, in her head she has convinced herself that once she sat down, then she would have no choice but to talk about her feelings. This makes her feel vulnerable and exposed, and she doesn't like people to see her like that. Even if it was all in confidentiality.

After mentally fighting with herself, she takes the plunge and makes herself comfortable in the chair. "So doc, how we gonna do this?, you gonna push me until I break, until I'm screaming and shouting?"

Dr Fullman found Jane's reaction fascinating, she knew it was a coping mechanism, that instantly she was on the offensive. Her wife had been much easier and willing to talk about what had happened to them both. Jane on the other hand, she knew was going to be harder to open up. She also noticed that Jane's hands look like they were recently bandaged and she was also trying to hide her face, she had her hood up and her hair down. She knew some of the details of what had happened to Jane but not everything.

"No, not at all Jane, if you want to sit in silence during these sessions, then we will, if you want to scream and shout then you can, and if you want to cry, please do". Reading the brunettes face, she could see her processing what she had just said to her. "Jane, I am here to help you, like I told your wife, you are safe here, and everything is confidential, I will not discuss anything with your wife and likewise. I will not discuss anything with you about your wife's therapy either".

Jane felt a little bit calmer than she did a couple of minutes ago, it's not like she has never seen a therapist before. BDP had made her see the department shrink to clear her back to active duty after Hoyt and Bobby. But she knew how to work the system with them, telling them what they wanted to hear so they would give her a clean bill of health.

However, this was different, she had 'chosen' to get help instead of being made to. "Ok, doc".

They both sat there in silence for a couple of moments before Dr Fullman spoke. "Jane, if I may, can I request you to do something for me, please?".

Jane stops staring at the floor and looks up towards the redhead. "Erm..yeah sure".

"I would like for you take your hood down please?, as I would like to see you". She doesn't break eye contact with Jane. She was hoping that Jane would be receptive with this request. At first she thought she has made a mistake, as they sit there in silence for what felt like an eternity. Jane slowly removes her hood and then looks up at her. She can clearly see the long, still red looking scar on the left hand side of the woman's face. She knows if Jane was going to open up to her at all, first she needs Jane to feel comfortable with showing her face. "Thank you Jane, please don't ever feel like you have to hide your face, you are a very beautiful woman".

"Yeah right". Jane growled.

There it was, the ice-breaker, Dr Fullman wasn't sure she had heard it at first. "I'm sorry Jane, what did you say?".

Jane feels her anger rising, "I said yeah right".

"It is true Jane, I am only saying what I see, tell me what you see?". The Dr was hoping that she wasn't pushing her too quickly.

Jane rises out of her seat and starts pacing the floor, she wasn't sure if she was going to even answer her until she catches her reflection in a mirror. It stops her dead in her tracks, she hasn't really looked at herself since when she was in Dr Matthews office and he had taken her bandage off. Standing there looking at the ugly reflection.

Dr Fullman is worrying about Jane's reaction to showing her face to her. "Jane, you ok?".

"I hate myself" she said, she doesn't even look at the Dr, she continues staring into the mirror. "This is just a reminder of my failure". Her raspy voice was breaking. "I couldn't stop him...from raping her".

* * *

 _ **I know this chapter isn't as long as the previous ones, but there will be more chapters with the DR later on. Peace and Love.**_


	7. Author's Note

_Just want to say a big thank you to everyone who has read and reviewed this story so far. I didn't expect this. I haven't wrote anything in such a long time so this is overwhelming if i'm honest. In a good way. :-) I just wanted to let all you lovely people know that I will upload a new chapter on Thursday :-)_

 _Thanks again_

 _Peace and Love_

 _Abandon_


	8. Knowing is not always good - Chapter 7

**WARNING - TRIGGERS - MENTIONS OF RAPE**

Once they were done with Jane's session Dr Fullman had asked Maura to come back into the room with her.

"Jane and Maura, both of you did great today, over the course of our sessions I would ultimately like to aim for both of you to be able to talk about what happened together. Usually I wouldn't do this, however because you both were involved and are married I think it is important to strive for that. As I can help you both heal individually, but I can't help you heal the pain and conflict which I can safely assume has begun to grow in your marriage".

Looking at both of the women listening intently to her, Maura nods in agreement as Jane looks away, almost ashamed, agreeing with the Dr's assumption.

"Do not feel ashamed, or embarrassed, It is quite normal that when a couple is attacked, feelings come to the surface that you might not necessarily know why and how you feel that way. But the first step is to talk about it, which you both have".

Rising from her seat and walking to the door Dr Fullman turns to both women "I will see you both same time again next week, and if you shall need me before then, please just give me a call". Pulling cards out of her left hand jacket pocket, giving both Jane and Maura one each as she gives them both a smile as they walk out of her office.

Once outside Maura turns to look at her wife. "Shall we go to lunch?"

"Erm, actually I'm planning on going to see Korsak" she can see the look of disappointment in the blonde's eyes. "Maybe we can grab a bite to eat afterwards?". Jane says nervously as not to hurt her wifes feelings.

"What do you need to see Korsak about, your still on leave for another 2 months?" It came out harsher than she meant it to be, her voice betraying how hurt she is feeling that Jane doesn't want to go to lunch with her.

Nervously shuffling her feet from side to side, the brunette is thinking about how she is going to respond. She really doesn't want to tell her the real reason why, but she wasn't going to lie to her either. "I wanted to see how our case was coming along".

Silence fills the air between the two women. It hasn't even occurred to Maura to ask or even to find out anything. "Oh, I shall drop you off then". Her tone sounds flat and emotionless.

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you before, but I didn't want you to think about it, not until it was absolutely necessary". Jane says trying to reassure her.

The blonde's heart swelling with even more love for this woman in front of her. Still trying to save her from harm. "Oh Jane, you can't always protect me from everything", As soon as she said it she regretted it.

Jane steps back away from her, she can feel the anger and the self loathing rising. She was right of course, she couldn't protect her, she didn't protect her. Maura didn't mean anything by it and she knows this but she needs to walk away. Turning around to leave, she makes her way down the corridor moving further away from the blonde.

"Wait! Jane! Maura shouts after the fiery Italian. "that's not what I meant".

"I know Maura, I'll take a cab to The Dirty Robber, I'll see you later". She says over her shoulder.

The blonde was thinking of running after her but knows it will do no good. "Shit!" she says to no one in particular. She just hope Jane doesn't do anything stupid.

* * *

Before she walks into the Dirty Robber to meet Korsak, she makes sure her hood is up and her hair is covering her face. She has also brought her own pair of sunglasses as the ones the doctor gave her she doesn't like.

Entering the bar she can see it is busy enough that she will be left alone, and more importantly her mother will be too busy to come over and bother her.

Scanning the bar to look for Korsak she finds him sat down in one of the booths that he keeps reserved for staff at the back. Walking over to him she starts to feel nauseous, paranoia starts to kick in, feeling like all eyes are on her, the quicker she can leave the better.

The older man glances up from his paperwork and can see her coming, getting up and out of the booth, he gives her a big bear hug. "It's good to see you Jane". He says letting her go and sitting back down.

"Same here Vince" she says taking the seat opposite him. "Thanks for meeting me here and not at BPD, I don't think i'm ready to go there yet".

The seasoned detective could tell that she was nervous. "That's alright, I don't blame you, most of them are assholes there anyway", giving her a wink and a smile.

Relaxing more into the seat, she lets the nervousness past through her body. Slowly and carefully removing her sunglasses. If Korsak was shocked by seeing the scar on her face he didn't let his features betray it.

"So, how you been doing kiddo?" Knowing full well what she has been doing. Not eating enough and probably drinking too much.

"I'm ok, you know me" she gives him a weak smile whilst playing with the scars on the back of her hands.

Unfortunately he does know her, and he knows she's full of shit. But he also knows from experience not to push her too much. "And the Doc? She doing ok?"

"Yeah, we've both started seeing this councillor". Not really wanting to talk about it anymore she is hoping he will change the subject soon.

"What, you went willingly?" Letting out a deep belly laugh.

"Yeah, I know right" she says whilst laughing too.

The mood is lifted between the two detectives but only for a brief moment. Before an uncomfortable silence fills the space between them.

"So, what did you want to talk about?" He already knows what she wants.

Inhaling deeply she asks "I want to look at our case file?"

Trying to fight her is pointless but he is going to try anyway. "Jane, you know I can't do that, plus I'm not the only one working this case".

"What do you mean?" Looking at him confused.

"Come on Rizzoli, think about it". Staring intently at her until she understands what he has just said.

"SVU? Springfield?" She says letting out a big sigh. She knows that BPD don't investigate sexual assault cases unless there's murder involved. But the fact that someone else is investigating her case doesn't mean she has to like it one bit.

"Yep, they are investigating the assault on Maura, however, because you nearly died, we are allowed to work that part of the case. As its attempted murder of a cop". His voice is strong and determined.

"We should be the one working the whole case, NOT THEM" Her rising voice makes other patrons look towards their direction. Drawing the attention she didn't want to them.

Raising his hand towards the other patrons, Korsak signals that everything is fine. "We don't know how to investigate a case like this Rizzoli, and you know it, and besides I know the lead on the case. We go way back, you hurt one of us, you hurt us all"

Jane can tell that Korsak is trying not to get angry with her. He's just used his stern voice, which always makes her feel like she has just been told off by her father. "I know Korsak, I just wish I could do something"

The older detective let's out a sigh. He could keep arguing with her until he's blue in the face, but Jane is one stubborn lady. "Look Rizzoli, I'm trying to protect you here" Placing his hand on the brown folder on the table he slowly slides it towards her. "There are photos in that file that you don't want to see, but I've known you long enough that I know you'll some how get your hands on this anyway".

Grabbing the folder off him, she starts to pull it away but he stops her. "If I could take the photos out the case file I would, just promise me you won't torture yourself more than you already are".

Looking into his eyes, giving him a small smile he lets the brunette take the folder. "Thanks Korsak", she says as she starts to leave the bar. Leaving him wondering if he has made the right choice.

* * *

Maura knew as soon as Jane stormed off that she wouldn't be meeting her for lunch, instead she decided to call her mother. Entering the small but elegant cafe her eyes fall instantly on the finely dressed woman sat at the table by the window.

"Hello darling, you look well". Constance says as she kisses her daughter's cheek in the continental way.

Her relationship with her mother used to be strained but since dating and then marrying Jane she became more of the mother that Maura had always hoped she would be. "Hello Mother, thank you"

"So darling, how are things? She says taking a sip of her tea. "Or is that a ridiculous question to ask?"

"No mother it isn't, I'm seeing a counsellor" Maura was a lot like her mother than she thought. She was able to compartmentalise her feelings when the time needed. And she was so use to doing it when it came to her mother. That's why what her mother said next surprised her.

Softening her features and looking into Mauras eyes, Constance takes her daughters hands in her own and says "What happens when people open their hearts? They get better _."_

"Mother I didn't know you follow the works of Haruki Murakami? This is one of her favourite authors, Jane finds his books boring but she thinks they are wonderful.

This makes her feel warm inside that she has something in common with her daughter. "Nice to see I can still surprise you my dear" taking another sip of her tea "And Jane, how is she?"

"She too is seeing a counsellor, we are actually seeing the same one, and hopefully we will be able to talk to each other again". Playing with the cup and saucer in front of her not really in the mood for tea anymore.

Constance can detect the change in body language in her daughter. She knows she wasn't overtly affectionate with her growing up. And unfortunately Maura has inherited some of these traits from her. Although its subtle she can see it. "Oh darling, I'm sorry, you both went through such a horrible event, and no one will blame either of you for feeling this way. At least you're both doing the right thing".

Letting out a deep sigh she stops playing with the cup and saucer and looks into her mother's eyes. "It's ok mother, this is what we need, I love Jane so much and it hurts that I can't even let her touch me. And I know she loves me too, but since the attack something has rooted in us both and seeing a counsellor is the only way I think to save our marriage, as without it I think...No, I know the attack will drive us more apart".

* * *

Jane is at home in the guest house's kitchen, staring at the offensive folder on the worktop, _This is a really bad idea Rizzoli_ she thought to herself. Reaching down to open the file she is still unsure if she is doing the right thing. Jolting her hand away as if the folder burns her skin she heads toward the fridge. _I'm gonna need a beer._ Opening the fridge door, she takes one of the well stocked beers, it feels cold and inviting against her skin. In one swift motion the cap is removed and half the contents already gone. Making her feel braver, she moves back towards the worktop, and starts pacing. Staring down the folder as if circling her prey. Taking the plunge she sits down in the chair, opening the file she starts to read the first page.

 ** _Victims Name: Jane Isles-Rizzoli_**

 ** _Age: 36_**

 ** _Occupation: Boston Police Detective_**

 ** _Description of Accident/Event: On March 16th, 2017, BPD and EMTs were dispatched after receiving a call at 18:47 from the cell of Dr Maura Rizzoli-Isles, stating that both women had been assaulted. When first responders arrived on the scene they found Jane Isles-Rizzoli bleeding and unconscious next to an unconscious Dr Maura Rizzoli-Isles. (See side notes)_**

 ** _The injuries sustained by Jane Isles-Rizzoli are listed as follows:- Fractured Skull, broken nose, fractured ribs on left side of torso, knife wound to abdomen which caused internal bleeding which needed to be repaired with emergency surgery. Also inflicted on the victim was mutilation of the face, a wound that stretched from the right eye down to the bottom of the face. (see photos)_**

 ** _Crime Techs processed the scene and found different areas of blood (see report)._**

Swallowing the lump that is forming in her throat she finds the Crime Tech report and wills herself to continue reading on.

 ** _Area: Upton Park_**

 ** _Dimensions: 1 acre_**

 ** _Description: Once on site there were three visible areas of what appeared to be blood. Samples were taken from all three sites. (see photos)_**

 ** _Site A_**

 ** _Two samples were recovered. Sample #5431 came back as unknown but is from a Male donor. Sample #5432 came back as Jane Rizzoli-Isles._**

 ** _Site B_**

 ** _Two samples were recovered. Sample #5433 came back as Maura Isles-Rizzoli. Second sample recovered was seman. Sample #5434 came back unknown, however matches blood sample #5431._**

 ** _Site C_**

 ** _Two samples were recovered. Sample #5435 came back as Maura Isles-Rizzoli. Sample #5436 came back as Jane Isles-Rizzoli._**

 ** _Evidence Recovered:_**

 ** _#987-456 Black River Island clutch bag. Inside contents was a Sony mobile phone, keys, and a wallet, with I.D for Jane Rizzoli-Isles. Recovered at Site A._**

 ** _#987-457 Cream Louis Vuitton clutch bag. Inside contents was keys, lip gloss, perfume and purse with I.D for Maura Isles-Rizzoli._**

 ** _#987-458 Bloody Samsung mobile phone. Recovered from Site C._**

Flashes of that night came back to her like a bad headache, churning her stomach making her feel nauseous. But she can't help torturing herself, so she carries on.

 ** _Victim: Maura Isles-Rizzoli_**

 ** _Age: 37_**

 ** _Occupation: Chief Medical Examiner Commonwealth of Massachusetts_**

 ** _Description of Accident/Event: Due to nature of sexual assault, Special Victims Unit in Springfield will be investigating._**

Another flashback, but this time it was watching her wife being raped and she was powerless to stop it. She never made it to the photos, which is probably a good thing. Feeling the bile rising in the back of her throat, jumping up out of the chair and rushing into the toilet just in time to empty the contents of her stomach.

* * *

Maura has returned home after spending the afternoon with her mother having tea. She really wants to apologize to Jane for earlier. But she also wants to see if she is ok, as she knows her wife too well. That when she is upset or hurting she unfortunately always reaches for alcohol as a way of trying to numb the pain.

Making her way over to the guesthouse, she knocks on the front door and waits to hear a response. Nothing. So she knocks again, but this time she tries the door to see if it is unlocked. It Is. Opening the door and entering she shouts for her. "Jane! You in here?".

No response, although she thinks she can hear someone in the bathroom. Walking into the kitchen, something on the worktop counter catches her eye. What she sees makes her blood run cold.

Photos, horrible, frightening images of Jane's mutilated face. She can feel her chest tightening, as she struggles to control her breathing. It's like the room is closing in her. She has to get out, she has to leave. She runs from the guesthouse like her life depends on it, slamming the front door on the way out.

Coming out of the bathroom, Jane thought she heard the front door slam, but because she can't see anything has been disturbed she thinks nothing more of it. Closing the file on the counter, she turns on the TV to watch some baseball. Not realising that Maura is reliving her own personal nightmare, frightened, scared and all alone.


	9. Maura Let's Go - Chapter 8

**TRIGGER WARNINGS - MENTION OF RAPE - VIOLENCE - PTSD**

After puking up her guts from torturing herself whilst reading their case file, the couple of beers Jane has consumed have made her feel a bit sleepy. Crashing onto the couch and watching whatever baseball game is on, her eyelids start to feel heavy and after a few minutes she dozes off into a relatively peaceful slumber.

Waking suddenly, she is a bit confused as to why, the TV is still on still, but now on the screen there is some kind of infomercial selling spanx pants. Grabbing the remote she turns it off, then getting up and having a good stretch whilst wiping the sleep from her eyes. She glances to the clock to check the time, it's late it's just after 1am.

Getting a feeling of dread in her stomach she can sense something is off, but she isn't quite sure. Then it hits her, Maura. It was strange that she hasn't been over to talk to her, to even shout at her, to tell her off for her jackass behaviour this morning. And she knew she had been a dick.

Grabbing the spare key for the main house, she didn't even bother locking up. Rushing to the main door, she can see a light has been left on. Usually Maura goes to sleep early, but nothing about their current situation is usual.

Knowing something isn't right, entering the house she glances to where the source of the light is coming from, and it's coming from the kitchen. Investigating further, she can smell stale alcohol in the air, then she see's the empty wine bottles. _Shit. This isn't good_ , she thinks to herself. Panic sets in now, as this is out of character for her wife. "Maura! Where are you, Maura?"

Finding no response, rushing upstairs and towards what was once their marital bedroom. The door is slightly open, but there is no light coming from the room. At first she didn't hear anything, her stomach drops, then their it is. The faint sound of crying.

Gently pushing the door open, the light from the landing illuminates the room, at first she didn't see her, then she recognises the blonde hair in the corner of the room. Sat on the floor hugging her knees into her chest, sobbing uncontrollably, is Maura.

"Oh baby" she says almost in a whisper taking a tentative step closer to her. Crouching down Jane gently touches her wife's shoulder. "Hey, I'm here, It's alright".

Looking up, Maura registers who is standing in front of her, as soon as she does, she explodes. "You, YOU, Get out". Pushing Jane away hard as she stands up.

Jane is shocked, she doesn't understand what is happening or what is going on. "Hey, It's ok, I'm not gonna hurt you". Holding her hands out in front of her, to show her she means her no bad will, she takes another step closer to her wife.

"But you have Jane, you never think of anyone else but yourself, you're selfish, and irresponsible", seeing Jane here in front of her, the images of the case photos and the rape are flashing in front of her. Clenching her fists, an overwhelming feeling courses through her body making her want to hit something. To break something, to let out all the hate, the fear, the stress, the hurt.

Jane registers the shift in her body language, her muscles tensing, her eyes becoming glazed over and the perspiration that is forming on her forehead. She recognises the signs all too well, PTSD. The irony is that she too is suffering with PTSD, but she just doesn't see it. Needing to be careful, she doesn't want to set her off. "I'm sorry, I apologize for what I've done"

"You don't even know what you're apologizing for? Maura says with so much venom in her voice. Glancing up at Jane, the way that the light dances on her face, casts half of it in shadow. In her mind this somehow makes the scar more prominent and brings that night back to life. That was it, she was there again in that park, with HIM on top of her.

 _Shit_ she thought. She can tell that Maura is no longer here with her. Of all the times she had suffered with PTSD at the hands of Hoyt she never once asked Maura how she had always managed to get her back. _She's right I am selfish_. Quickly shaking that thought away. She needs to help bring her back to this reality. Slowly and carefully taking a step closer to the almost zombie like woman. "Maura, can you hear? I'm not gonna hurt you?". Taking another final step closer, Maura doesn't even move. Doesn't even acknowledge her presence. Getting even closer now she slowly and gently puts her hand on her wife's arm. In her head she was thinking of trying to get her to lay down on the bed, to make her more comfortable. As soon as her fingers clamp around the blonde's arms, she sees her pupils dilate even more. _Shit_ she thinks, _big fucking mistake._

It's him, that bastard has her again, touching her. Not this time, she won't let him hurt her again, lashing out she manages to make contact with a punch straight to his eye. This knocks him flying backwards, this is her chance. Leaping on top of him and pinning him onto the ground she strikes again, this time making contact with his nose. With her fist raised high she is about to bring it down once more, but something stops her, a voice. For a split second she thinks she hears Jane calling her.

To say Jane wasn't surprised is an understatement. She had made sure that she had trained Maura with some basic hand to hand combat skills, even though the blonde had tried to refuse. As being violent or angry just wasn't in her wifes nature. She was the hot headed one whilst Maura was the more level headed one. As soon as the first punch made contact it knocked her clean off her feet. Feeling a little dazed and confused she was on her back staring at the ceiling. In any other situation she would have been proud of her, as it hurt like a bitch. Whilst trying to get her senses back, there was suddenly pressure on her chest. Before she had chance to defend herself another punch struck her, this time making contact with her nose. _Fuck._ Even though Maura was smaller than her she was exceptionally strong. And she was in trouble and she knew it. "MAURA, STOP!" she shouted. Then it suddenly stopped as quickly as it began.

"MAURA, STOP!" is Jane calling me she thought. But how. She's behind me. Looking behind her she sees nothing but open space, then glancing back round, she is back in her bedroom. Feeling something wriggling beneath her she looks down. And is horrified at what she sees. Jane bloodied and bruised pinned down underneath her. It takes her breath away, the dawning realisation that she has done this. "Oh my god".

Jane knows Maura is back with them in the bedroom, but she can feel the anger and rage emanating off the woman on top of her. She feels that her wife blames her for being raped. And she agrees with her. "If you want to hit me, hit me".

"Jane I..." Maura is still in shock as to what has happened.

Jane can feel her anger rising, not at Maura but at herself. She feels guilt for happened that night. Because of the choices she made, In some small way, if she could hit herself she would. "Go on, do it, I know you blame me, because I blame me too".

Maura is still hovering over Jane with her fists clenched ready to go again, a part of her does blame Jane and she would never tell her that, and she hates herself for feeling that way. However, another part of her knows that no one is to blame. All her feelings are so confusing right now. "No!" she says angrily.

"No" Jane shouts back. As if it was an offensive word. She feels she deserves to be punished and if Maura wants to hit someone then let it be her.

"No" she says again more calmly. Climbing up off the brunette and walking into the bathroom, she locks the door behind her.

Jane is still lying on the floor, her pulse raising in her ears as she tries to calm herself. Her eye is stinging and her nose is bleeding. Getting up off the floor she goes to the bathroom and knocks on the door then tries the handle. "Maura, let me in".

"Go away Jane!, leave me alone". A tired little voice says from the other side of the door.

This is the most they have opened up to each other in weeks, damned if she is walking out now. "No, talk to me me, Maur"

The door unlocks and Maura opens it and stares at Jane. "You're right Jane, I do blame you".

Although she already feels it, to hear those words from Maura breaks her heart. She doesn't know what to say.

"Because you're selfish, and irresponsible" pointing one of her manicured fingers into Jane's chest. "I came over to apologize to you after this morning, and I saw all the photos of your mutilated face".

The penny drops, it was Maura she had heard before she came out of the toilet. "I'm so sorry, you're right" holding her hands up admitting defeat "I have been selfish and irresponsible, Korsak warned me no good would come of it, and I didn't listen".

"Then why did you do it?", Maura lets out a sigh, more in frustration than anything else.

Jane has been dreading telling her the real reason. "Because, I couldn't protect you" her raspy voice breaking. Tears are forming, threatening to escape so she looks down. Too ashamed to look at her. "I thought that maybe, just maybe I would be able to find him, and stop him from doing it to someone else".

Maura's features softens, "Jane look at me, please". With her wife looking into her eyes, she sees the tears starting to fall. "My dear girl, you fought so hard to save me".

There were parts of Jane's memory that night that she had problems remembering, due to the head injury she sustained. The parts that she did remember were being stabbed and watching Maura being raped. "I did?"

The response was more of a question than a statement. It suddenly dawned on Maura that Jane had some blank spots of the attack. "You don't remember?".

Of course she remembered, sort of. "I remember being stabbed, and then...watching him...on top of you".

She doesn't remember almost killing herself trying to crawl towards her. "Sweetheart, you almost killed yourself". Taking Jane's hands into her own. "After he stabbed you, you were bleeding out, but you kept trying to get up, to get to me, you fought so hard". Both women are trying to fight a losing battle of stopping the tears from falling.

Jane is the first to pull away "I'm just going to clean up" as soon as she said it she can see the hurt in the blonde's face.

"Jane, I'm so sorry". Maura says as she moves her hand to brush a stray hair behind her ear.

Jane takes Maura's hand and pulls it away from her face "I've had worst rough housing with Frankie, don't worry about it" She tries lightening the mood with a small laugh, giving her grin and a wink. Then she disappears into the bathroom. Looking into the mirror her face is a right sight, blood all down her front, bruising already forming around her eye. " _Nice one Maura"_ she thinks to herself. " _How am I going to explain this in the morning"_ Once she is finished she lets herself out of the bathroom, the landing light is still on and the door is open. She glances over to the bed, she can make out a shape underneath the covers which she assumes it's Maura in bed.

Trying to be quite thinking Maura is asleep she creeps out of the room, slowly shutting the bedroom door.

"Jane, please stay", the voice sounding almost child like coming from the bed.

Jane's heart skips a beat in her chest, they haven't shared a bed together for weeks. "Always" she says, her voice sounding soft and filled with love. Closing the bedroom door so enough light is coming through from the landing. She makes her way over to her side of the bed. Not even bothering to get undressed she climbs in. Suddenly feeling nervous. She doesn't touch Maura, but she lies close enough to her so she knows she's there. They lay like that for sometime until both slowly drift off to sleep.

* * *

Jane wakes up, she's wondering what the time is, glancing to the clock to her left she see's it's only 4am, she's only been asleep for a few eyes. Wondering what woke her up, she hears a whimper and sees movement coming from next to her. Glancing to Maura's side, she can see that Maura is starting to have a nightmare. Trying to calm and soothe her wife, she sits up in bed and pulls Maura into her arms. She's hoping she is doing the right thing. With one arm wrapped around her waist and the other hand stroking her hair, she starts to sing to her. Their song.

 _I am at ease_

 _In the arms of a woman_

 _Although now most of my days spent alone_

 _A thousand miles from the place I was born._

 _When she wakes me_

 _She takes me back home._

It's working, whatever nightmare she is reliving, the song or just Jane's contact is chasing it away. So she continues.

 _Now most days_

 _I spend like a child_

 _Who's afraid of ghosts in the night_

 _I know there ain't nothing out there_

 _But I'm still afraid to turn on the light_

As she is gently rocking her from side to side in her arms, Jane is transported back to their wedding and there first dance. When they were dancing to this song. There wasn't a dry eye in the house.

 _I am at ease_

 _In the arms of a woman_

 _Although now most of my days spent alone_

 _A thousand miles from the place I was born._

 _When she wakes me_

 _She takes me back home._

 _When she wakes me_

 _She takes me back home._

Looking back down to her wife, she is now peacefully asleep. Staring at her, she wants to burn into her memory how beautiful she looks right in that moment. Before long, Jane's eye-lids grow heavy, she drifts off to sleep still cradling Maura in her arms.

* * *

 **Authors Note:**

 **Thank you all for your continued support and appreciation of the story that I'm trying to tell. Means a lot of to me. In this chapter I wanted to show that that although Maura is very good at compartmentalising, she is still human at the end of the day. And there is only so much the human spirit can take and endure before it breaks. And Jane does love Maura very much, but she needed a reality check, for her to realise that she has been selfish and stupid.**

 **Song: Amos Lee, Arms of a Woman, if you haven't heard of it before, youtube it, it's a beautiful song.**


	10. Author's Note 2

Hi guys, just wanted to let you all know that i am still currently writing chapters for this story. The current one i'm working on, i'm not sure if i'm going to upload as it is. Or split it into two chapters as its quite a long one at the moment lol. Also sorry for the delay too, been picking up extra shifts at work and had some family drama too. (Brother is an addict and has relapsed :-() So please be patient with me. Thank you again for your continued support and love.

Peace and Love

Paula


	11. Hidden Truths - Chapter 9

_**TRIGGER WARNINGS - MENTIONS OF RAPE - PTSD**_

Maura awoke in the morning feeling a little worse for wear. She also has a massive headache then she remembers why, the two bottles of wine she drank last night. With a flash, memories of last night flood her consciousness, and that's when she remembers striking Jane. _Oh No, what have I done_ she thinks to herself. Getting up from the bed she can feel someone is holding her. Glancing behind she sees Jane who is just starting to wake up.

'Hey, you're awake' Jane says wiping the sleep from her eyes.

Maura gets up and moves out of Jane's arms so she can clearly see the mess she has made of her wifes faces. Her right eye is badly bruised and slightly swollen shut, whilst her nose is slightly misshapen, she can also see she has a split lip. "Oh my god Jane, your face". Reaching out to touch the damaged areas she then retracts her hand thinking better of it.

Jane can see the look of hurt and sadness in her wife's eyes, there's also a look of fear too. "Hey" she says as she grabs Maura's hand. "It's ok".

"No Jane, it is not ok, look what I did to your beautiful face" the blonde says trying to fight back the tears that are forming. "I said some horrible things to you last night, I didn't mean any of it, I'm so sorry".

Jane knows that deep in her heart, that there was some truth in what was said, but they will work through it, as she would give her life for the woman in front of her. At first she doesn't know how to respond, when she is about too Maura spoke again.

"Why did you stay?" she says as she stops pacing the room and looks at the brunette still sat on the bed. "Why stay after I did that to you?" pointing at Jane's face.

Rising off the bed, Jane walks over to the blonde and takes her hands in her own. Looking down at them she can see that the blondes knuckles are red from where she hit her. Looking away and back into the teary eyes of her wife she says "Because you asked me to". Taking a deep breathe she continues "You were hurting last night, and you needed me".

Maura can't bare to look at her, feeling too ashamed with herself.

"Hey, look at me" Jane says, making the blonde glance back up at her. "There were some truths in what you said last night, and we will work on that ok?".

Maura doesn't know what to say, feeling stunned and in awe of this amazing woman in front of her. "Jane, I don't deserve you" she says.

Trying to fight back the tears, "No Maura, I don't deserve you, I've been an ass, a selfish ass and I'm sorry" Jane says.

They both hug and hold onto each other, neither one of them wanting to let the other one go. Feeling that this new bond, this new understanding might be lost if the contact is broken. It's also the most intimate both woman have been with each other for weeks.

Eventually releasing each other from the hug, Maura leans in and places a tender kiss on Jane's lips. Pulling back she can see a lone tear fall from her eyes.

"Thank you" the brunette says, she's about to say something else but they are interrupted by someone shouting from downstairs. Listening, they hear it again. Sighing Jane recognises the voices as Frankie and Angela's. "It's ok, I'll deal with them, you go and freshen up" Jane says to Maura seeing the look of fear in her eyes.

Neither one of them are really in any condition seeing visitors at the moment. "But what about you?" the blonde says.

Jane knows exactly what her wife means, it's really hard to hide the fact that she's been in a fight with someone. But Jane knows that whatever she says, it will be credible for them to believe her. After all, her brother and mother do think she's the one to blame for most things anyway. "Don't worry about it, I got it". She gives her wife a wink and a smile before she disappears into the ensuite.

Heading downstairs both Frankie and Angela are in the kitchen helping themselves to whatever, as per usual. Inside this makes her laugh. Hearing someone coming down the stairs both Rizzoli's turn around. At first they are a little surprised to see Jane in the main house, but that surprise is quickly turned into shock.

Angela is the first to criticize Jane, "Oh! What the hell have you done now Janie?". Walking over to her daughter she places both of her hands on the side of her face. Turning from left to right to have a good look at the damage.

Rolling her eyes at her mother, she always assumes it's her fault, that she is to blame. Even though this time is wasn't. But Jane is willing to take the fall for Maura. She would do anything for her wife. "I got drunk and then got into a fight, ok?" Jane says as she moves away from her mother's hands. Heading to the kitchen and grabbing a cup, she starts to pour herself a coffee, when Frankie grabs her arm and spins her around to face him.

Frankie is feeling furious at his big sister, of all the idiotic things she could have done after smashing up the guest house. "What the hell Jane, what the hell were you thinking?".

This was going to be easier than she thought to convince them she was at fault. "I wasn't ok".

"How could you do this? And how could you do this to Maura, again!". Frankie is not letting his sister go on this.

Jane is about to reply, but in between the shouting no one had heard Maura come down the stairs. She had heard how Jane was taking the blame for her injuries and covering up what Maura had done. Again this amazing woman was trying to protect her from what people may think about her. Knowing she hit her wife, she couldn't let Jane do it. "It was me".

Angela and Frankie turns around to the voice coming from behind them. Jane looks at her wife and mouths the words " _Don't"._ Maura feels she has to, as much as it was a terrible thing she did, she has to take responsibility for her actions.

"What do you mean, it was you?" Angela asks looking puzzled at her daughter in law.

Maura glances from the young Rizzoli, to the older Rizzoli before inhaling deeply. "Last night I attacked Jane in what I can only describe as a PTSD induced fit of rage".

Angela tries to stop the gasp of horror escape from her lips as she places a hand over her mouth. But it's too late, everyone hears it. Frankie stands there in disbelief. Looking at his sister, unsure if Maura is trying to cover something up, he asks her "Is it true Janie?".

Jane doesn't say anything at first, quietly she walks over to her wife. Taking Maura's hands in her own, placing gentle kisses on the still red knuckles. She looks into the blonde's eyes, a stray tear starts to fall, Jane wipes it away. Turning back to Angela and Frankie she finally answers. "Yes, it is".

There is nothing but silence that fills the room. Both Angela and Frankie are in shock not sure how to process it. They both know that Maura isn't a violent person but to imagine her hitting Jane and inflicting the damage to her face is insane.

"Look, I didn't want you to think less of Maura, I know it wasn't her that did this" pointing to her face she continues. "She has been hurting, we both have, but i've been such an ass that I didn't help the situation either" Jane says.

Frankie is the first to respond. "Janie, tell me you didn't".

Angela's shock has now turned to confusion, she doesn't know what is going on.

Jane just sighs and looks away, giving him his answer. "Korsak told me you went to see him, you got your case file from him, didn't you?" the younger Rizzoli asks.

"Yes" Jane is feeling ashamed again at remembering last nights events and that she had helped trigger her wife's PTSD.

Angela now understands what has happened. "Oh! Of all the stupid, self centred, idiotic things to do Jane Clementine Rizzoli". Her voice rising higher and higher with each name spoken, Indicating the anger that is building.

"I know alright, you don't need to remind me". Jane just wants them gone now. She wants them to leave so she can stop talking about it and just get some ice to put on her aching bruised face.

Maura has heard enough and jumps in to try and stop her mother in law placing all the blame on her wife's shoulders. "It isn't all Jane's fault. We've both been distant from each other". Glancing from both Angela and Frankie she turns to face Jane. "I love that you were willing to take the blame for me, and it just shows me how much you love me". She leans forward and places a gentle kiss on the scar on Jane's face. " but I need to ask for your forgiveness".

Jane smiles back her heart swells for her wife. "There's nothing to forgive".

Mauras eyes start to water again as she tries to fight back the tears. Turning to face her in-laws, she asks "I also need to ask for your forgiveness too, what I did was inexcusable".

Both Frankie and Angela step forward and envelope Maura in a group hug. Maura loves this family so much. Starting to sob whilst in between them both. Angela sees Jane stood on her own, she can see she is wondering if she should join them in this tender moment. Reaching out her hand for her daughter to join them. Jane takes it and joins them all. They stay like this for what feels like an eternity. Eventually Angela is the first to break contact. During the hugging Jane had somehow made her way to Maura. When Angela pulls away, she grabs Frankie "Come on, let's leave them to it". He nods, as they leave he glances back and both women are still in a loving embrace lost in there own thoughts and their own world. Feeling a smile forming on his lips, he thinks to himself ' _there gonna get through this'_. Quietly closing the front door leaving his sister and friend in there safe place.

Jane hadn't even realised that her mother and brother had left. Whilst still holding Maura she looks around the room to make sure. When she looks back the smaller woman is looking up at her. Smiling back Jane places a gentle kiss on the top of the blonde's head. "Do you want me to leave?" Jane said in a soft, almost whisper like voice.

Maura never wants her to leave again, or be apart from her. She feels safe in her arms. "No, I want you to stay forever".

Hearing her say those words makes Jane feel warm inside. "Then forever I'll stay" she says pulling her into another embrace. Reluctantly pulling away from her wife she asks "Do you want me to make something to eat or should we order take away?".

"No thank you Jane, I'm not hungry" Maura says as she makes her way towards a drawer in the kitchen. Opening it she pulls out a clear ziplock bag. Then heading to the freezer, she fills it with ice. "And besides we need to reduce the swelling on your face". Heading back to Jane she gives her the bag of ice. Taking it from her, Jane places it to her face."You've been taking care of me, and I know it must be hurting, as my hand aches too" she says.

Jane doesn't really feel hungry either, so she'll eat when Maura does. Heading over to the couch she sits down. Taping the seat next to her she indicates for her wife to join her. Since the attack Maura hasn't felt comfortable being touched. But she's been so receptive to the hugs and the odd kiss that Jane just wants to hold her for as long as she will let her.

Joining Jane on the couch Maura sits next to her. Snuggling into Jane she feels her wrap one of her long protective arms around her. Looking up at the brunette she says "you're family are amazing Jane".

This makes Jane smile "yes, there really are". Placing another kiss on top of the blonde's head she looks back at her "and there you're family too".

Grabbing the remote, Jane starts to flick through the channels until she comes across some kind of documentary, knowing that Maura would appreciate watching it, she leaves it on.

Maura is enjoying watching _Particle Fever_ , it's a documentary on how scientists recreate the big bang theory to investigate the origin of all matter and unravel the mysteries of the universe. _Fascinating_ she thinks to herself. Becoming so engrossed in the film that she didn't notice Jane has fallen asleep. After awhile she can feel the gentle rise and fall of her wifes chest on her back, indicating she is sleeping. Having a quick glance just to confirm her suspicions she turns her attention back to the TV. However, it is not long before her own eye-lids become heavy and she drifts off into a peaceful slumber. Wrapped in the warmth of her soul mates arms.


	12. Maura's Session - Chapter 10

It's been two days since Maura had her meltdown, and both she and Jane are back at Dr Fullmans for another counselling session. Same process as before, Maura goes first whilst leaving Jane watching something on TV.

Again Maura is struck by the smell of Jasmine and how calming the room is. She has been dreading this session. To openly talk about the real reasons and the feelings she has been feeling when she thought she was back in that park with 'him' and then discovering she was hitting her wife.

Dr Fullman was her usual, friendly, welcoming self. Indicating to sit down, Maura did so.

"Hello Maura, how have you been since our last session?" the redhead said whilst looking at the blonde.

Maura was playing with her hands again, something she normally never does, but of late seems to be the norm. Taking a deep breath to try and steady herself she begins. "I hit my wife".

To say Dr Fullman was surprised in this revelation is an understatement, if she was being honest, she would have thought that Jane would have been the one out of the two to resort to some sort of violence. Not this reserved petite blonde sat in front of her. "Can you tell me what happened?"

 _No,_ she wanted to scream, _no I don't want to tell you_. Jane was right when she said there had been some truth in her words. She needed to tell someone. So she proceeded. "After our first session I made an offhanded comment about that Jane can't always protect me. And of course Jane being Jane took it the wrong way. I tried to apologize but she walked away from me". Stopping to calm herself as she can feel her body starting to tense as she is getting angry remembering that day. Dr Fullman didn't say anything, she just listened.

"I felt angry at her, so I went to have afternoon tea with my mother, it was lovely, my mother and I had a very complex relationship before I met Jane. But now she is loving and caring which is wonderful".

Listening to Maura intently, The redheads interest has been intrigued when mentioning the complex relationship she has with her mother. She would like to explore this in more detail, but now isn't the time.

Maura continues "After talking with my mother, I went to find Jane to apologize for what happened in the morning, and when I walked in, there...on the counter, were photos of Jane's mutilated face from that night". Swallowing the lump that has formed in her throat, remembering that moment suddenly fills her with anger again. Jumping out of the chair she starts to pace the floor. "Of all the irresponsible, reckless, thoughtless, negligent, stupid things to do".

Dr Fullman finds Maura's responses interesting, displaying a whole range of emotions in such a short space of time. She knows the blonde has been bottling up her feelings for a while and now they are being displayed in a chaotic and confusing manner. "Can I ask why those photos were with Jane?"

"Because she never thinks, she foolishly brought home our case file, even though she was warned that no good would come of it". She stops pacing the floor, walking over to the chair opposite Dr Fullman she takes her seat again.

"Why would Jane do something like that?" Dr Fullman asks.

Letting out a small laugh. "Have you met my wife? Maura says looking at the redhead.

"What happened afterwards Maura?". The redhead says in a gentle and calming voice.

Rising from her seat again, Maura heads over to the mirror staring at her own reflection. It's the first time she has stopped and really looked at herself. She doesn't look like her usual perfect self. No make-up, hair is wild and unkept and she can still see the faint scar on her cheek. "I don't know, it's all a bit of a blur, I rushed home and I felt such a mix of emotions I didn't understand" crossing her arms over her chest, almost as if to try and shield herself from her feelings she turns around and faces the doctor again. "I was always a lonely child, It's not that my parents didn't love me, they were just involved in their own lives. Which meant I got left to my own devices. So I read and studied a lot. Yet, no matter what I have learned or trained in didn't prepare me for any of this. I felt so scared and angry all rolled into one".

Dr Fullman knew well enough not to interrupt a patient once they were on 'a roll'. Clearly Maura needed to tell her these things.

"I then went and drank two bottles of wine, I just wanted to numb the feelings, I never get emotional where I resort to getting intoxicated. But that night I felt I needed to. Not long after I had finished the second bottle of wine, I felt quite intoxicated so I decided to go to bed. Once in bed I felt so overwhelmed with everything that I just wept". She starts to play with her hands, feeling uncomfortable remembering what happened next. "I didn't even hear Jane come into the bedroom, she touched my shoulder and once I saw her face, I remembered those horrible photos and the night of the attack". Feeling emotional now she is trying hard not to let her voice break. But she can feel the tears already forming, this is a battle she will lose. "I was back there, in that park, he had me pinned down on the ground".

Dr Fullman can see that the blonde is starting to struggle. "Maura, if it's too hard or too painful to tell me, you don't have to, just remember you're safe here".

Trying to calm herself enough, taking a deep breath she continues. "Whilst he had me pinned, I saw my chance and I struck him. I managed to hit him in the face, I knocked him to the ground. So I jumped on him and struck him again. But something stopped me, I could hear Jane calling me".

"And why was Jane calling you?" Dr Fullman said as she looks at Maura.

Maura found the question confusing so at first she didn't answer. Not wanting to remember that horrible night again. She proceeded onwards taking a huge sigh. Turning around she makes her way back to her chair, flopping into the seat opposite Dr Fullman, feeling deflated. "I wasn't back in that park with him, Jane...Jane was calling me to stop". Her voice starting to break "I was still in the bedroom, god Jane's beautiful face" she says the tears freely falling now.

Picking up the box of tissues and leaning forward, Dr Fullman offers them to the now sobbing blonde in front of her.

Taking the tissues Maura dabs her eyes trying to soak up the tears. Thankful that she had worn her waterproof mascara today. "It was Jane I was hitting".

"What were you feeling before and after the incident" Dr Fullman gently asks.

Remembering back to when Jane had come into the bedroom she remembers feeling so angry at her. "I felt incredible rage".

"At whom?" The redhead asks.

Maura pauses thinking back to who she felt angry with at that moment in time. Answering honestly she says "At Jane".

"Do you still feel angry with Jane?" Dr Fullman asks Maura.

Maura really didn't want to answer her, but those feelings were still very much there "Yes".

Dr Fullman wants to explore this further, this might be the breakthrough that she needs to help her heal the rift between the two women. "Do you blame her for you being raped?"

There is a long pause as Maura thinks about responding. The silence in the room is deafening, you could hear a pin drop. Answering in an emotionless and detached way. "Yes, I know the events themself she is not to blame for them. And I knows it's not logical to hold her responsible, but It was her suggestion to go the way we did. So yes I blame her".

Seeing the detachment and the way that Maura's body language has considerably changed in the last couple of minutes, Dr Fullman finds this fascinating. "Maura, when feelings or thoughts become difficult, do you always compartmentalise yourself to detach from it?"

"Yes" Maura answers in the still emotionless voice.

"Why is that?" Dr Fullman asks.

Without missing a beat the blonde responds immediately "Well it's quite logical really, if I compartmentalise my true feelings then I am not opening myself to be hurt emotionally, simple really".

Dr Fullman needs to bring the blonde back into the room, to get her to face and understand her feelings so she decides to try and push a reaction out of her. "Maura, do you love your wife?".

This question struck Maura as a little odd, of course she loves Jane. "I'm sorry I don't understand the question".

"It's a simple question Maura, do you, or do you NOT! love Jane?" Dr Fullman can see that Maura is struggling with the question so she keeps pushing. "Do you love your wife?" she says with a little more force behind it.

"OF COURSE I DO!, I love Jane with all my heart, What kind of question is this?" Feeling the anger rising in her, she gets up out of the chair and approaches Dr Fullman, accusingly pointing her finger at her "I would give my last breath for her".

Dr Fullman feels they have reached the end of their session. "I know from what information and insight I have gained from our previous sessions I suspected as much. But I needed for you to say it out loud".

Feeling more like herself again, Maura feels a little ashamed at her behaviour, normally she is so put together, she couldn't understand where that angry outburst came from. "Dr Fullman, I feel I need to apologize for my outburst".

"Maura, there is no need, I will admit that I did push you to get a response from you, as when things get emotionally difficult for you, you detach. And in order for you to heal fully you unfortunately need to feel what you have been through". Rising from her chair, Dr Fullman walks to the door. "I think we've done enough this session, however If I may, I think the next session both yourself and Jane should both be present".

Maura's heart starts to flutter, she didn't know if she was ready for that yet, but she trusts Dr Fullmans judgement. "Ok" she says as she walks through the open door and into the waiting area.

"If you need me for anything, please don't hesitate to call me?" Dr Fullman says as the blonde passes by her.

Maura give the redhead a little nod in response. "Thank you". Leaving the Dr's office and making her way to her wife. Deciding whether or not to tell her about her own session. Wondering if it would heal them both or divide them further apart.


	13. Jane's Session - Chapter 11

_**TRIGGER WARNINGS**_

Jane could sense that it had been a particularly hard session for her wife. Maura didn't say much to her when she re-entered the waiting room, apart from that Dr Fullman was ready to see her. She knew now wasn't the time to press her wife for information. Leaning forward she places a tender loving kiss on the blonde's forehead. When she pulls back she tries to give her a reassuring smile that everything will be fine. Maura smiles back at her, but behind those eyes Jane can see how much she is hurting. Reluctantly leaving her behind in the waiting room, Jane enters Dr Fullmans office. The redhead is betrayed by her own reaction when her gaze falls on Jane's battered face.

To say that the young doctor was shocked was an understatement, the usually composed woman let out an audible gasp. As soon as the noise escaped, she tried almost to recapture the awful sound that had fled by throwing her hands to her mouth. It wasn't like she hadn't seen injuries inflicted by others before. Often enough her clients still showed signs of their assaults when they came to see her. What shocked her the most was that the petite, well spoken blonde she had spoken to earlier could cause so much damage.

"Hey Doc" Jane saw the reaction and heard it too. "I know, it ain't pretty" she says as she takes her seat opposite the Dr.

"I'm sorry for my reaction Jane" trying to not act embarrassed about her outburst. "Maura had mentioned that she had physically assaulted you in our previous conversation but I didn't realise the severity of it". The brunettes face was a mass of bruises, with shades of colour indicating different stages of healing. And there was a scab on her lip, possibly from a split lip she thought.

Jane tried to play the event down "yeah, well shit happens doc" she says letting out a little laugh "no big deal".

The more time Dr Fullman spends with both women she finds the way they both deal with there feelings fascinating. "Jane, I hear what you're saying but you're body language is telling me something different".

"Oh yeah Doc, like what?" Jane didn't mean to come across as cocky and arrogant but she wasn't liking whatever it was the councillor was sensing from her.

The redhead leans forward in her chair so she is sat up straight and facing the Italian head on. "First, you are trying to convince me or maybe even yourself by saying that the attack was" using her hands in quotation marks "no big deal". By now she has learnt that to get Jane to open up is like trying to pull teeth, hard and tough. "You're body language on the other hand is telling me that it is a big deal". But she knows, eventually Jane will break. Everyone always does.

Jane doesn't respond, she just stares at the doctor in silence for what feels like an eternity. Not looking at her but through her, searching her own soul and conscience for an answer. Eventually breaking the uncomfortable silence with a heart wrenching confession "I deserved it".

The young doctor didn't think she had heard the brunette correctly. She needed to make sure that if she continued it was to understand why Jane felt so much guilt. Asking an important question she proceeds. "Jane, why do you feel you deserved it?"

Leaning forward in her seat and resting her arms on her knees she stares at the floor "Because, It was my choices that night that led to my wife being raped" with sadness in her voice she continues "it was my arrogance and selfishness that led to my wife attacking me". Jane says with so much venom and anger directed at herself. Feeling her resolve starting to fade she knows she is losing this battle. That the armour she has built up is starting to crumble around her. This makes her feel vulnerable and exposed so she jumps up out of her seat and heads over to the window. Staring out over the city at nothing in particular. Not wanting to face Dr Fullman, ss she knows she'll see it in her eyes and they will betray her.

Dr Fullman has become quite fond of the two women over the course of their sessions. She knows that she must remain professional at all times, but there are the odd cases where that is hard to do. Because of the nature of her job, woman and the odd men confide in her the horrible and terrible acts of depravity that others have inflicted on them. But there is something about these two women. Of course she knew who they both were the first day they had stepped into her office. Maura the brilliant and youngest ever, Chief Medical Examiner of Massachusetts and Jane, a decorated Boston homicide detective who brought a serial killer to justice. They are almost like local celebrities with how many times they've made the news. So of course there attack made headlines in Boston. But there was something about them that she felt drawn to. They both have been through so much pain yet the love they have for each other is incredible. To see them both emotionally damaged and in conflict with themselves, especially Jane saddens her, as the Italian punishes herself so much. Rising out of her chair she walks over to the distraught brunette staring aimlessly out of the window. "Jane" she says as she gently places her hand on her shoulder. "Please don't torture yourself, none of this was your fault" she pauses to make sure that Jane is listening to her. "You are not to blame, and no-one blames you for it either".

"She does". Jane says almost as a whisper whilst still staring out of the window. _How can she not_ she thinks to herself.

"Who does Jane?" The Dr already knows the answer, but she still needs to ask it. No matter how much it will hurt to discuss it.

Putting both her hands on the window, she places her forehead onto the glass. It feels cool and cold on her skin. Releasing a big sigh Jane continues "Maura, I know she blames me". Turning around she looks at the redhead with saddened eyes, "I just want my wife back but I think I broke her" her voice is starting to break "I think the Maura I fell in love with is gone". And that was all it took. Giving into the immense sadness, she lets herself slowly slide down the window, before collapsing into a heap on the floor. Unable to stop the tears and the sobs that are causing her body to violently shake.

Dr Fullman was shocked at first by this sudden reaction from Jane, the woman was completely distraught. She knew it was a possibility that Jane would eventually break down. But this was unexpected, she could see her physically shaking through the uncontrollable sobbing. Even though it was against policy to comfort her clients in a physical manner. She couldn't leave this broken woman on the floor in front of her without trying to console her. So she did the only compassionate and humane thing possible. Kneeling down next to the brunette she carefully enveloped her in a hug. Hoping to convey through it that in order for her to heal, Jane needs to learn to love and forgive herself first.

 **Authors Notes: Thank you for still sticking with me, sorry this is a short chapter but I had to split (Hidden Truths, Maura's Session and Janes Session) it up otherwise it would have been one big, long chapter. Also to those who have mentioned it. They do find the guy who hurt them, but Jane gets to him first. :-) Thanks again.**

 **Love and Peace**

 **Abandon :-)**


	14. The Truth Will Set You Free - Chapter 12

**_SEXUAL CONTENT +TRIGGER WARNINGS OF RAPE_**

After their session with Dr Fullman, neither woman hardly said a word to each other. Both were emotionally exhausted, especially Jane. Maura could tell that her wife had been crying heavily, as her eyes were red and her cheeks were puffy. This made her wonder what could have made her so upset. Even though she was tired she could tell that Jane was in no fit state to get behind the wheel of a car, so she offered to drive them home instead.

The ride back to the house felt much longer than usual as they drove back in silence. Taking a quick glance to her right, she was about to ask Jane what she wanted to have for lunch. The brunette was fast asleep in the passenger side with her head resting on the window. Not having the heart to wake her wife, she decided to let her rest until they got home. _Home_ she thought. That word used to fill her with so much joy and happiness. She used to love coming home, knowing that the house would be filled with joy and laughter. But now, she dreaded it, instead it was cold and lifeless, and the joy and laughter that used to fill those walls is gone.

After a few more minutes of driving they arrive home. Pulling into the exceptionally manicured driveway. She reaches below the steering wheel and turning the ignition key to off, makes no attempt to disembark from the vehicle. Instead she just stares forward into space. Reluctantly bringing herself back to reality the blonde wishes she could just stay in her mind's eye forever. Alas she knows this isn't possible and knows she must face whatever happens next. Leaning over to the passenger seat, gently placing her hand on her wifes shoulder, shakes her. "Sweetheart, we're home". The brunette starts to stir, wiping the sleep from her eyes. "Do you want me to make something for lunch?" the blonde asks.

"Nah, I'm not that hungry", Jane says sounding completely deflated. Like the will and the fight in her has all gone. Opening her car door, she gets out and lets herself into the house, not even bothering to look at Maura.

Maura knew what Jane's response was going to be, she didn't feel much like eating either. But Jane's reaction frightened her. It was like she was just giving up, on her, on them, on well everything. She had never seen her look so sad before. This broke her heart, getting more and more convinced that this was going to be the end of them. Without even realising it, she was twirling her wedding band on her finger. Pulling it off she re-read the inscription on the inside. Even though she knew those words by heart, she just needed to read them again. _Until my forever ends, always Jane xxx._ Reading the inscription made her feel sad, tears were threatening to fall from her eyes. Shaking them away, a sudden rush of anger raced through her. Slamming her hands down on the steering wheel hard, _No she thought, NO! We've have been through too much shit for that bastard to destroy us._ Placing the wedding band back on her finger and in its rightful place, she get's out of the car and follows Jane into their marital home.

Looking around for her wife she sees her taking a beer out of the fridge. _Typical she thought_. Quickly mentally scolding herself for thinking that way. Knowing that they both have been under so much emotional stress and that its a normal reaction to try and self medicate. But if she wasn't careful, knowing Jane all too well, it could end in a downward spiral of addiction and self destruction. In order to save her friend and their marriage she knows what she has to do. "Jane, I forgive you". Saying those words she should have said to her wife a long time ago.

Taking a big swig of her beer and feeling so exhausted she innocently doesn't know what Maura is referencing. "For what?" Jane says in her raspy tone.

"I forgive you Jane, I don't blame you for me being raped" walking over to her wife, Maura takes the alcohol from her. Placing the beer bottle down on the kitchen counter. Taking Jane's hands, she can still see the faint red marks from when she cut them on the broken glass. Starting to gently massage them, she can feel how tight the muscles are. They must be feeling stiff and a little sore as she hasn't massaged them for a while.

Jane doesn't know what to say. Feeling a whirlwind of emotions swimming around her head and her heart. Not knowing if she truly believes her wife. "You don't?" she replies with doubt etched in her voice.

"Not anymore, I did at first" feeling too ashamed to look at her wife Maura continues "but that anger was misdirected at the wrong person, and I'm so sorry I did that to you". Raising Jane's hands to her mouth, gently placing kiss's on top of them. "Now, will you be honest with me?".

Feeling her heart start to flutter in her chest, having Maura touch her was sending shocks through her body. Jane had missed the touch of her wife, feeling her breathe on her skin, the way they made love. Quickly hating herself for thinking these thoughts after what the blonde had been through. "I miss my wife" taking her hands out of the smaller woman's, placing her own on the side of her face. Looking into the blonde's eyes she says "I miss my bestfriend" before moving in and placing a gentle kiss on those soft lips of hers.

Maura's heart swells for this woman, even after everything she still wants her, she can't stop the lone tear that falls.

Pulling away from the kiss, Jane looks into the eyes of her wife, she sees a sparkle of the woman she married, her best friend is still in there. Wiping the tear away she leans in and whispers in her ear "I love you Maura" before planting another kiss on the blonde's lips. Reluctantly breaking for air she smiles at her wife.

"I love you too Jane" the blonde brings their lips crashing together again. Feeling that Jane is trying to break the kiss, Maura intensifies it, making it more passionate and deeper.

Not believing that this is actually happening, Jane knows that this is all too soon. The longer they kiss the more heat she can feel build between them. Trying to break the kiss again, she suddenly shoved back hard into the fridge. "Maura" she breathlessly says. Maura's hands are all over her body, desperately trying to find skin. God she is unbelievably turned on right but she knows she needs to stop this. "Maura, stop" she says through breathless panting.

Maura knows she has taken Jane by surprise, but her hands are desperate to make contact with flesh. Cupping one of the brunettes clothed breasts she gives it's a rough squeeze. Hearing a moan spurns her on to grab her wife's hair hard. Whispering into her ear "Don't you want to fuck me?" she says before their lips crash together again.

 _Oh my god, I've missed this_ Jane thinks to herself. But her mind is all over the place, she knows that this isn't like Maura, but just having her touch her and talk to her like that is making her body go crazy. "Oh my god Maura" she says with lust in her voice.

Without a second thought Maura rips Jane's t-shirt open like it was nothing, exposing her bra and stomach. _God this woman is exquisite_ she thinks to herself. With no trouble at all the offending bra is off and thrown on the floor. Grabbing both breasts, giving them squeeze. Seeing how turned on her wife is she continues. Taking one of Jane's firm breasts, starts to suck and bite on of the very hard and erect nipple.

 _Oh my god this woman is going to be the death of me._ As much as Jane wants to have sex with her wife, this wasn't the way. Grabbing Maura's wrists she stops her from touching her any further. "Not like this" She says as she shakes her head. The look in the blonde's eyes tells her she's hurt. Trying to get her breathing under control she lets go of the smaller woman. Placing her own hands on either side of Maura's hips she says "When we have sex again, I want to make love to you, not fuck you".

Maura knows that Jane is right, she doesn't quite know what came over her, she just felt so overwhelmed with everything. She is suddenly very aware of the torn t-shirt and the exposed taller woman in front of her "I'm sorry, what is wrong with me?" she says as her voice starts to crack.

"Hey, don't be sorry, you have nothing to apologize for" pulling Maura into a hug. Not caring that she is semi naked and stood in the kitchen. Resting her head on top of the smaller woman, Jane kiss's it. "It's quite normal what you just felt, it's called hypersexuality disorder, in stressful or emotional situations sex is used as a way of gaining control, because that control was taken from you".

Maura looks at Jane with a slight baffled look, she is normally the one with the googlemouth as her wife calls it. "How do you know this?".

"When I worked vice, I met this girl, lily, she had came to us for help. She had information on a human trafficking ring". Looking down at the smaller woman, seeing a slight nod from her wife Jane continues with the story "she had been repeatedly raped by her father from when she was 14, until she ran away from home when she was 16". Taking her wife's hands she leads her over to the couch so they can be more comfortable. With her wife sitting comfortably, Jane crouches down in front of her and places her hands on top of the blonde's knees. "She told me that even though she was raped, she used sex as a form of control. Unfortunately for her she fell into prostitution and drugs".

The story of this poor woman made Maura feel sad, although they shared something in common, this girl had been alone. She had no support network or someone who loved her. "What happened to her" she asks.

Jane really didn't want to tell her, it wasn't a happy ending for lily. "It doesn't matter, I just wanted you to know its ok to feel the way you do".

"Jane, please tell me what happened to Lily" Maura asks almost pleading with her wife. Seeing the sadness in the brunettes eyes when recounting this tragic tale, already knowing the outcome.

Swallowing the lump that has formed in the back of her throat Jane continues "Lily was murdered, one of the gang members from the trafficking racket got tipped off about her before we could arrest them".

"That's so tragic" Maura says trying to fight the tears that are forming.

"Yes it was, but she helped save the lives of nearly 20 young girls, the youngest being 14". Taking her wife's hands in her own again, bringing them to her mouth Jane kisses them. "I wasn't trying to make you feel sad, the point I was trying to make was that it's ok to feel like that".

"Oh Jane, you are wonderful to me, I can only imagine how hard it must have been to stop me back then" Maura says as she pulls Jane into a hug.

Jane happily complies, resting her head on her wifes lap, wrapping her long arms around her. "Yeah" she says whilst laughing. "You have no idea how hard it was" glancing toward her wife with a huge cheeky grin on her face.

This makes Maura laugh. Seeing Jane smile like that it always makes her feel happy. "You are amazing, do you realise that Jane Rizzoli-Isles".

"Yep, I know" Jane replys cheekily. After the laughter from both women subsides the brunettes facial features turn more serious again. "I just need you know, that there is no pressure for us to have sex. If we never have sex again. I'm ok with that. As long as I get to hold you and be with you, grow old with you, then I'm happy". Placing her hands on the side of her Mauras face, she looks lovingly into the blonde's eyes. "I love you Maura Isles-Rizzoli till death do us part" she says with so much conviction.

Maura can't believe how lucky she got marrying this incredible, beautiful woman in front of her. Looking at her very exposed wife she feels guilty about the damaged tshirt. "Jane, I'm so sorry about your t-shirt, I'll reimburse you".

Standing up she grabs the hoodie from the back of the couch and puts it on. "Nah, don't worry about it, I never liked it anyway" winking at her wife as she said it. Sitting next to her, Jane pulls Maura into her arms as they both lay down. "Let's just lay here for awhile".

"I would like that very much" Maura says snuggling her face into her wifes chest as they lay face to face in each other's arms.

Grabbing the blanket from the back of the couch and pulling it over both of them, making sure that they are both covered. Jane rubs her nose against the blondes and then rests her forehead on hers. They don't say anything, they just stay like that for a few minutes. "I'm gonna have to start calling you popeye" The blonde looks up at the her with a confused look so Jane clarifies . "You tore my t-shirt open like it was paper".

"Oh, I see. Because of all the spinach I eat" Maura replys in her naive way. "Does that mean you're Olive Oyl then?".

"I'm tall and lanky enough to be" Jane says whilst letting out a deep belly laugh. She can't remember the last time they both had laughed and had fun with each other. It felt like old times. Once the laughter had died down, pulling the blonde closer into her. They don't need to say anything, words would have spoilt the moment. For the first time in weeks Jane felt like things were looking up for the couple. And that finally her best friend had made her way through the darkness and into the light to return to her. That was the last thought she had before drifting off to sleep.

Maura could sense Jane had fallen asleep, she recognised the pattern of the rise and fall of her chest. She didn't care, she was safe in the arms of her lover, her soul mate. Listening to the sound of the brunettes heart beating was enough to relax her so much that she too drifted off into a peaceful slumber. The last thought she had was that she wasn't alone in this world, and that she truly was loved.

* * *

As a nice treat Angela Rizzoli thought she would make the girls some of their favourite meals and desserts tonight. Knocking on the door of Jane and Maura's home she waits for a response. Nothing. Thinking this was odd as Maura's car was parked in the driveway. Knocking again, just to make sure. There had been numerous times when she had let herself in only wishing she hadn't after catching the girls 'at it'. The thought of it made the older woman chuckle. She had been in love once and remembered being just the same with Jane's father. _They_ _must have gone somewhere in Jane's car_ she thought to herself. Letting herself in with the 'emergency only' key, feeling satisfied that no-one is home.

Closing the door behind her she waits for a few seconds just to make sure she can't hear any 'strange' noises. Taking her coat off and putting her purse and keys on the table in the hallway, happy that she is alone. Walking over to the kitchen, taking various bowls and pans out from the cupboards as well as all different ingredients she will need. Her plan was to make Jane's favourite, her grandma's gnocchi recipe followed by cannoli. For Maura she would make Coq Au Vin, followed by Poire à la Beaujolaise. Starting to prepare the ingredients she thinks she can hear a faint noise coming from the direction of the living room. Pausing for another second thinking maybe she had misheard it, she hears it again but this time it's louder. Slowly putting down the flour she was sieving, she creeps towards the living room trying to be quiet as she can. As she was getting nearer, the noise was getting louder. It sounded like it was coming from the couch. Peering over the top the source of the mysterious noise is revealed. Jane is fast asleep and snoring, whilst Maura seems to have a faint smile across her face and is nestled in the brunettes arms.

The sight before her makes the older woman feel so happy. It's been awhile since she has seen the two younger women looking so relaxed and at ease with each other. Wishing she could just watch them lay that way forever. But she quickly reminds herself that a) it's slightly a little bit creepy and b) she has dinner to make. Heading back to the various pots and pans cooking away, she gets on with preparing a culinary extravaganza for her two sleeping babies.

* * *

Starting to stir on the couch, Jane is still laid in same position she fell asleep in, with her gorgeous wife in her arms, _Can I smell food_ she thinks to herself which makes her belly start to talk very loudly. Raising one eye open she listens to hear is anyone else other than them are in the house. Hearing the sounds of clanking pots and pans she only knows one other person who would let themselves and cook in her home. Her mother. _My mom is absolutely amazing_ she thinks to herself. Placing her hand onto the blonde's shoulder, she gently shakes Maura to wake her. Placing her finger on her lips to indicate for her wife to be quiet. Jane points towards the direction of the kitchen. Both woman peer over the top of the couch, and they see the older Rizzoli singing and dancing away in the kitchen.

 _She looks so happy_ Maura thinks to herself. Both woman return to their hidden positions behind the couch, looking at Jane, Maura says "Jane, you're mother is such an incredible woman".

Jane can't help but let a grin spread across her face "yeah she is". Making a mental note to herself that she must tell her mom how awesome she is later. Not really wanting to get up from the couch Jane feels she must. Getting up and heading over to the kitchen to give her mom a hand with dinner, with Maura following close behind her.

Angela hasn't heard the two women approach her, she was so caught up with the music and cooking that when Jane spoke it made her jump.

"Hey their dancing queen, you need a hand?" Jane says with a laugh and a cheeky grin.

Almost jumping out of her skin, Angela nearly drops the dish of gnocchi that she is just taking out of the oven. "Oh my god" She says as she puts the dish down on a heat resistant matt. "You trying to give me a heart attack?".

Jane can't help but laugh, but Maura being Maura feels somewhat guilty and quickly apologizes. "I'm sorry Angela, we didn't mean to startle you".

"Maybe not you" Angela says to Maura but then points to her daughter "but you, certainly did".

Holding her hands up to her mother as a sign of defeat Jane says "I'm sorry ma" with a massive grin on her face. "This all smells great" having a quick glance around the kitchen at all the lovely looking food asking "What can we do".

No matter what stress and heartache her daughter may put her through. She knows she is a good person, a good wife and a great daughter. "Dinner's nearly ready, so can you both set the table please".

Leaning in she places a kiss on her mother's cheek "Thank's ma" Jane says before disappearing to grab the dinner plates from one of the cupboards.

Finishing of the final touches to the incredible meal that she has prepared, she quickly steals a glance towards Maura and Jane setting the table. She can see them laughing and joking about something. This makes her feel so happy that a single tear falls down her cheek. Wiping it away, Angela knows from that moment on that her girls are going to be ok. And that if they can survive what they've both been through. They can survive anything, together.

* * *

 _ **Author's Notes: Thank you again for everyone's support and encouragement.**_

 ** _Coq au Vin:_ **_A French dish of chicken braised with wine, lardons, mushrooms, and optionally garlic_

 ** _Poire à la Beaujolaise:_ **_Is pears poached in Beaujolais(wine) a traditional dessert of the_ _wine-growing region of Beaujolais, and belonging to the cuisine of Burgundy and Lyon._

 ** _Gnocchi:_** _are various thick, soft dough dumplings that may be made from semolina, ordinary wheat flour, egg, cheese, potato, breadcrumbs, cornmeal, or similar ingredients, with or without flavourings of herbs, vegetables, cocoa, or prunes._

 ** _Cannoli:_ **_Italian pastries of the Sicily region. The singular is cannolo, meaning "little tube", with the etymology stemming from the Greek kanna. Cannoli originated in Sicily and are a staple of Sicilian cuisine_

 ** _Hypersexuality:_** _Hypersexuality is a real disorder, it generally falls under the 'sex addict' category. But it is recognised that after sexual trauma, survivors can feel hypersexualised and its a normal response. Some of you may not understand how or why someone who has been raped, would want to take part in promiscuous sex. Speaking from personal experiences, in my case it was to ascertain control, in my head I felt that If I was the one 'using' men for sex first then they couldn't hurt me again._

 _ **POST-TRAUMATIC STRESS, SEXUAL TRAUMA AND DISSOCIATIVE DISORDER: ISSUES RELATED TO INTIMACY AND SEXUALITY -**_ . _**article link**_

. /trauma-responses-behaviour/

 _ **Peace and Love**_

 _ **Abandon**_


	15. The Hunter becomes the Hunted

_**WARNING TRIGGER WARNINGS**_

It has been nearly 4 months since the attack and life for Maura and Jane has been getting better. They saw Dr Fullman for the last time and she seemed happy with their progress and healing.

 _Inside Dr Fullman's office Maura and Jane are sitting opposite the young redhead, holding hands they both feel a new sense of hope for the future._

" _Maura and Jane, I'm really pleased with how far both of you have come along, not just in yourselves but as a couple as well" looking at the two women in front of her, they are both holding hands and looking the happiest she has ever seen them. "I'm pleased to say that I don't think you need my services anymore". Both women are smiling back at the young doctor. "You've both accepted what happened to the both of you, and because of that you both now can move on and start to enjoy the life that you have together". Rising from her chair, she walks over to Jane and Maura who have both stood up as well. "I shouldn't really say this as it's outside of a professional context, however, it's been a real pleasure helping you both. You both are such a lovely couple and I'm pleased the outcome has been a happy one". Extending her hand out she shakes Maura's and then Jane's hand._

" _Thank You Dr Fullman, with your help you have gave us the tools to be able to process and to discuss our feelings with each other" Maura says with a warm smile._

" _Yeah Doc, thank's a million" Jane says barely able to contain her gratitude for what this woman has helped them with._

 _It's days like these that makes her job feel worthwhile, that she can somehow make the world feel that little bit less scary and frightening. "You're very welcome, and If you still feel you need me for anything over the next few weeks, please don't hesitate to give me a call" Dr Fullman says whilst fighting back the urge to give both woman a great big hug._

* * *

Feeling sick this morning, Jane is thinking about what it will be like walking back into the bullpen at. At some point she knew she had to face everyone at work when her sick leave was up. But the more and more she thinks about it she wants to vomit.

Maura was also feeling the same way, but for different reasons, her fear was based on how she would react when back in the autopsy room.

Another reason why Jane felt so nervous was that that she felt very conscious about the scar on her face. She didn't want people to stare and then start to feel pity for her. Maura sensed this in her wife, and she had thought ahead and ordered different shades of makeup off the internet. In particular a brand called Durabrand, she had seen a commercial late one night and there were men and women using it to cover acne marks, birthmarks, skin blemishes well everything. She wondered if it would help cover Janes scar on her face so it wasn't as noticeable. At first when she had mentioned it to Jane she was hesitant, but she has convinced her to let her at least try it and see how she feels afterwards.

"Jane will you stop squirming please, I've known children to sit more still than you have" Maura says whilst applying the make up on the brunettes face.

She wasn't exactly known for her patience, but she hates just sitting there, letting someone 'make her up'. Feeling foolish and speaking in a whiny voice Jane tells her wife the truth "Come on Maura, I hate this, I feel silly".

"I think you will be pleasantly surprised when you look in the mirror" Maura says as she is applying the finishing touches. "Just about...done" stepping back she admires her work "go ahead Jane have a look" she says feeling proud of herself.

Inhaling and finally releasing the air she has been holding, turning around she looks at herself in the mirror. _WOW!_ She thinks. _I look like me._ Too shocked to speak she just stares at the familiar old face staring back at her. She didn't think she would ever see her again. _Its incredible._ If you passed Jane in the street or you didn't know she had been attacked. You would never have known that there was a big scar on her face. The makeup has taken away the redness from the scaring. It now all blends into one skin tone, there is still a line on her face, but it looks faint. You would really have to look to see it. Feelings of joy and happiness are so overwhelming that happy tears start to fall down her face.

Wrapping her arms around her wife, Maura peers over Jane's shoulder and stares at both of there reflection looking back. "You like it?" she asks already seeing the affect it is having on Jane.

Finally finding her voice Jane answers "It's amazing, you're amazing".

"It's a good thing it's waterproof Jane" Maura says as she gives her wife a cheeky wink, watching Jane wiping the tears away. "Obviously next time it won't take as long as to apply, as now we both know what we are doing, but I just want you to know that you don't ever need to wear this around me. I got this makeup for you so that you felt comfortable at work and being around others. But I still think you're beautiful without it".

At that last comment Jane spins round to face Maura. "You are incredible, do you know that?" leaning in she places a loving kiss on the blonde's soft luscious lips. "Thank you".

"I'm hoping that this will make you feel more at ease on your first day back at work" Maura says making sure she sounds confident and upbeat to help Jane. She herself was due back at work in a month's time and was feeling anxious about it.

Jane was returning a month early, she felt she was fine to go back to work, but Cavanagh has her limited to desk duties only so she can get back into the swing of things again. She doesn't care, despite everything it'll be nice to get back to some normalcy. "I'm feeling loads better now because of this" she says whilst pointing to her face and smiling at Maura.

* * *

Coming through the main entrance and past security was easier than she thought. She knew the officer who was on duty. If he has noticed anything disfiguring about Jane's face he didn't let it show. Showing her I.D to him he welcomes her back and lets her through. Without stopping to talk to anyone else she went straight for the elevators. Pressing the button and stepping inside she heads up towards the bull pen. Stepping off the elevator her heart is pounding hard in her chest. She can feel the bile rising in the back of her throat and her stomach churning in nauseous knots. Her palms are clammy and sweating. Pausing before crossing over the threshold and into her 'second' home. Taking a deep breath she walks in, Korsak and Frankie are both busy working away at their desks. Nearing them they see it's her and they both excitedly get up to greet her.

Korsak is the first to get to her "Hey, welcome back kiddo" he says before enveloping her in a big hug.

Normally She would feel conscious about showing personal displays of affection whilst at work, but today she didn't care. If anything it was helping her feel more and more relaxed.

"Good to see you back Janie" Frankie says as he too gives her a quick hug.

Pulling away from Frankie she wipes her sweaty hands on the side of her legs "thanks guys" Jane says trying to act that everything is fine. "It's good to be back, even if it's only on desk duties for awhile".

"Either way Jane, it hasn't been the same around here without you and the Doc" the older detective gives her smile as he gently pats her arm. Heading back to his desk he resumes what he was working on before Jane's arrival.

"If you need anything Janie, you know where I am" nodding to her as the younger Rizzoli also heads back to his desk.

Nodding to Frankie, Jane hopes to indicate that everything is ok. In reality she wants to run out of the room and hide in the toilets. Calmly walking over to where the coffee is, taking a cup and pouring herself one. She tries to take a sip but her hands are shaking badly. So she puts the cup back down as not to spill it's contents. Resting her hands on top of the table to try and calm herself. Closing her eyes she takes a deep breath. Trying to remember a breathing technique that Maura had shown her to relax her. Breathing in. _One...Two..Three.._ She counts in her head. Breathing out. _One...Two...Three._ Repeating this for a few more minutes, feeling more and more grounded she opens her eyes. Picking up her coffee cup she turns around and heads over to her desk. Noticing that Korsak was looking at her she gives him a slight nod of her head and smiles back at him. _God I hope he didn't just see all that._

Sitting down at her desk her cell buzzes, taking it out of her phone holder she see's she has just received a text. Opening the message she smiles whilst reading it. _Hope you have a good day. I've got a surprise for you when you get home. Maura xxx I can't wait to get home later_ she thinks to herself. Starting to think inappropriate thoughts about Maura she is pulled back to reality with Korsak calling her.

"Hey Rizzoli, I just need to talk to you a second" the older detectives shouts before he disappears into the break room.

Rising from her desk , Jane walks towards the room, wondering what Korsak could want. She's hoping he's not going to ask her if she is ok. Even more convinced now that he saw her emotional stumble over at the coffee table. Pushing the door behind her making sure it is closed, turning to the older detective she asks him. "Everything alright?".

He was going to give her the benefit of the doubt that she was ok, seeing as it's her first day back and all. But he needs to fill her in on her case and doesn't really want to do it in the middle of the bull pen. "It's about your case" Glancing over at Jane she is playing with her hands. Knowing that she only ever does that if she is nervous or tense. "I spoke to my buddy over at SVU in Springfield. They've got no leads, and Jane neither have we". Watching the younger woman in front of him start to pace the room like a wild animal. He can read the signs that Jane isn't taking the news well. Needing to do something he takes her hands in his "I'm sorry kiddo, he's a ghost, no facial recognition nothing, he's just not in the system". Gently giving them a squeeze, trying to reassure and comfort just stands there in silence not saying anything. It worries him then she speaks.

"I Just need to take a minute" trying to stop her voice from trembling anymore than it is. This wasn't the news she wants to hear. How the hell was she going to tell Maura that they got nothing. Breaking contact with Korsak she heads out of the break room and makes her way to the roof. It was her one place where she could go and get away from it all, to sit and think. Once on the roof she walks over to her hidey hole. Removing the loose brick from the wall she recovers the little tin box inside. Opening the lid and revealing its contents inside, a packet of cigarettes and a lighter. This is one of her little habits she finds hard to completely break. Always keeping the cigarettes hidden in case of emergencies when they are on a particularly tough case. And it's ain't no tougher than this. Of course Maura knew about this bad habit of Jane's, but she understood how stressful and hard both their jobs were. She had made a pact with Jane, that as long as it didn't turn into a daily occurrence then she was ok with it.

Removing the white thin stick from the packet, putting it to her lips and lighting it, inhaling deeply. Feeling the nicotine fix working, instantly calming her. Trying to work up the courage of telling her wife that they will never bring her rapist to justice. Unless in the odd chance he fucks up along the way and ends up in the system someway or another. Taking another long drag of the cigarette, whilst looking out over Boston, it looks almost peaceful. Then the silence is broken by her cell ringing. "Rizzoli-Isles" she says into the cell, recognising the familiar voice on the other end.

"Hey Vanilla how's it going?"

 _Great!_ She thinks. _I'm not in the mood for this._ "What is it Rondo? I'm really busy" sounding a little too abrupt even for her.

Rondo detects the annoyance in her voice and just brushes it off "I heard about what happened to you and the Doc, that shit ain't right".

"No It wasn't right" Jane says. Even though Rondo can be really inappropriate sometimes, over the years he has become a surrogate member of the family. He was even there at her wedding.

Listening to the pause he continues "Well I've been playing my ear to the ground Vanilla, listening out for anything interesting".

The more she is listening to him her heart starts to beat faster in her chest. Her adrenaline is starting to rise. Is he really going to tell her information on how to catch the bastard that the cops can't seem to do. "Tell me Rondo".

Rondo likes Jane, he always has, she has never treated him differently, even those times when he was living rough on the streets and had an addiction problem. She and the Doc had helped him get clean and got him housing as well as a job helping out at various refuges and charities helping those similar to his previous situation. But he still did the rounds, visiting his old haunts and old pals still on the streets. He had heard the horrible news of Jane and Maura's attack. He was also very aware of Jane's temper. She is a woman you never piss off. So he was in two minds whether to tell her what he knows. Hoping he was making the right decision he continues "Vanilla, there's a dude down here, who's been bragging about what happened to you". Pausing to calm his own nerves he carries on "I'm lookin at him right now".

In her shock Jane drops the lit cigarette to the ground "Tell me where you are right now!". Emphasizing the urgency and the importance of it with the tone of her raspy voice.

 _Shit, I've done it now_ he thinks to himself. "I'm at the end of Gold Street on Vinegar Hill, there's a lock up near the waterfront".

"I'm on my way, you don't let your eyes off of him" Jane says more as a threat than an actual request. He heart is beating so loud she can hear it in her ears. Ending the call, rushing down the stairs towards the elevator, she nearly knocks Frankie on his ass.

"Whoa Janie, where's the fire?" The younger sibling shouts feeling slightly concerned.

Not really wanting to talk to him or anyone else. As the doors start to close Jane shouts back "I gotta do something".

Feeling confused he just stands there. Heading over to Korsak's desk Frankie asks him if he knows what's up with his sister. "Jane just flew out of here like a bat out of hell, you know what's wrong with her?".

"Yeah I think I do, I gave her an update on their case and it's not good, no leads, no suspects" the older detective says as he strokes his graying beard. "Just let her be Frankie, she needs time to just think it over".

Deciding to give Korsak the benefit of the doubt, after all he was Jane's partners for over ten years. If anyone knows Jane then it would be him. Frankie tries not to worry as he heads over to BRIC (Boston Regional Intelligence Centre) to continue working on his current case.

* * *

Parking down the street as to not spook whomever Rondo is watching, covering the distance pretty quickly with her long strides. Being on desk duty means that Cavanagh still has her gun and badge. When she was getting ready this morning, without telling Maura she had took her own gun out of the lock box in the wardrobe and put it into her bag. Taking out the Beretta M9, sliding the clip out she see's that its full. Pushing the clip back into the gun and placing it back into her pocket. Nearing Rondo, placing her hand on his shoulder she makes the smaller man jump.

"Shit Vanilla" Rondo shouts, removing the toothpick from his mouth "you trying to give a brother a heart attack".

Jane's not really that bothered that she made him jump, all she cares about is getting the bastard who raped her wife. "Where is he?" she asks coldly.

Seeing the fury and vengeance in the brunettes eyes, knowing he's made a mistake telling her about the guy. "Maybe I should call someone else Vanilla". As soon as those words left his mouth he instantly regretted saying them. Feeling himself being grabbed, Jane slams him hard up against the wall.

"Where the fuck is he?" To make her point Jane slams Rondo against the wall again. "You tell me right now!" Right now she doesn't care about anything, all she is seeing is red. Even though she hasn't seen him with her own eyes yet, Rondo's info in the past has always been accurate and spot on. So she's not going to doubt him now.

Rondo has seen this look before, pure hate. "Hey Vanilla, it's cool" Feeling Jane relaxing her grip of him. "The dude is just round the corner, he's had folks coming and going out of a lock up".

Slowly Jane takes a look around the corner, there is a white van backed up towards the only open lock up. At first she doesn't see anyone so she keeps watching. When suddenly a man wearing a vest top and jeans climb into the driver's side of the van. _It's not him._ Feeling deflated she is about to turn around and walk away. Hearing what sounds like doors of the van being closed. Looking back another man comes into view, he is talking to the driver. His face comes into view, as clear as day. It feels like her heart has stopped in her chest. That face will forever be ingrained into her conscious. Its him. It's the bastard who raped and attacked them. Already she can feel the adrenaline coursing through her veins. Wanting nothing more than to exact revenge, but she needs to wait for the driver to leave. As if reading her mind, the driver pulls away and disappears down the road and out of view. Maura's rapist then heads back into the lock up and out of view. Looking around the area it's pretty isolated. This is her chance. Taking the gun out of her pocket she turns to face Rondo over he shoulder "Get out of here, now".

Staring at Jane he knows he's fucked up, _Shit! Shit! Shit! Vanilla's gonna kill him._ Rondo watches the detective calmly walking towards the open lock-up with her hand tightly gripped around the loaded gun. Without a second thought he opens his phone and calls for help.

* * *

Maura felt like it was going to be a wonderful day, she has decided on doing some gardening whilst the weather was nice. Working away in her vegetable patch her cell starts to ring. Pulling off her pink gardening gloves she answers "Isles-Rizzoli". Quickly her demeanor turns to distress.

"She's gonna kill him doc"

Recognising the voice as Rondo "Who, who's going to kill him?" Already suspecting what his answer is going to be.

"Jane is, I found your rapist" Rondo said almost shouting down the phone. He couldn't afford to be tactile and beat around the bush. He needs someone down here now who could stop Jane.

"Oh my god, where are you?" barely able to speak, Maura has to remain calm. She couldn't lose it now. Believing that Jane was capable of taking this man's life after what he did to them.

Rondo just hopes they can get here in time. "Gold Street on Vinegar Hill, there's a lock up near the waterfront, hurry".

Already halfway through the house, grabbing her car keys, Maura calls Korsak. Thankfully he answers quickly. "Jane's going to kill my rapist, please help".

"Jesus, text me the address we're on our way" Korsak tries to sound calm before hanging up. He knows Jane can be vengeful when it comes those that have been wronged or hurt. Especially when it comes to her family and friends. But what she really capable of murder. He really didn't want to think about it.

Quickly texting the older detective before speeding out of the drive and towards her wife. Wondering if she will be able to stop her from committing murder. And if she will be able to save Jane's soul in the process.

* * *

 **Authors Notes: Thanks again for the continued support, really appreciate it.**


	16. Authors Note

Hi Guys, Just wanted to say a great big awesome thank you for still sticking with this story. Just wanted you all to know that the hurt is pretty much over after the next chapter I upload. Then it's just all about the love. (I don't mean that in a creepy, sleezy way). Hoping to upload the next chapter before Saturday as I am off to Paris then Dorset. I know a bit of a mix :-) Anywho I'm hoping to write the follow up chapter whilst in Paris. :-)

Peace and Love

Abandon :-) xx


	17. Saving Jane - Chapter 14

**TRIGGER WARNINGS**

He hasn't seen or heard her coming, Jane has the element of surprise on her side. Making it easy for her to walk right up behind him. She wants to look him in the eyes, she wants him to see it coming. "Oi"she shouts to get his attention.

Not knowing someone was behind him, he turns and stares at the brunette not really caring who this woman is, failing to see the gun she is holding.

Looking into those eyes again brings that awful night flooding back. Cold and remorseless she growls at him "Remember me?" Knowing what she was doing was wrong, but she couldn't seem to stop herself. Raising the gun, Jane pistol whips the bastard. Thinking she can hear him try to say something, but she's not interested in what he has to say. Bringing the butt of the gun down again this time connecting with his nose. Hearing the satisfying sound of bone breaking. Watching him crouching down on the floor, bringing her leg back she kicks him hard in the stomach for good measure. Sending the surprisingly small man flying across the floor and into the wall with a thud. Trying to catch his breathe, Jane grabs him roughly by his collar and pulls him to his knees. He doesn't say anything only what sounds like mumbled groaning.

"Look at me!" Ordering the bloody and bruised man to acknowledge her. Looking into those eyes, Jane can see there is no recollection of who she is. This just makes her fury rise even more. "You raped my wife in front of me" she venomously spits at him.

Laughing in her face as the blood trickles from his broken nose. He knows now who she is. "Yeah I remember you, I fucked up your face". Seeing the affect he is having on the woman he decides to antagonise her some more. "The blonde one, your wife, she was a real good fuck".

That was it, seeing red Jane hits him hard again, causing him to fall onto his side.

Re-positioning himself onto his knees. He spits blood out of his mouth and onto the floor, nearly getting it onto the brunettes shoes. "Do you think I'm scared of a fucking dyke".

That was it, that was the trigger to send her over the edge. She was willing to cross a line that she may never come back from. Pulling the slide of the gun back loading a round into the firing chamber. Jane puts it firmly against his forehead. Slowly squeezing the trigger knowing the consequences of this action. Not only would this be vigilante revenge she would be judge jury and executioner.

Feeling the cold steel of the barrel of the gun make contact with his skin, he stops moving. Starting to feel scared, and fearful that this crazy bitch is going to take his life.

Her heart is beating so fast that it feels like it's gonna burst out of her chest. Feeling the beads of sweat running down her back and on her face. Jane knows it's wrong and that she should let justice take its course but she want's cold hard revenge. _I'm not doing this for herself, i'm doing this so my wife can sleep at night. That she never has to fear him coming after her again. I'm doing this for Maura_ she tries to mentally rationalise to herself.

"Whoa, you don't have to do this lady" he says, feeling her pushing the gun harder against his head.

Not caring and not listening to him, Jane is too caught up in the moment. That in trying to justify her actions she didn't even hear Maura calling her name.

No sooner had Maura arrived at the address that both Korsak and Frankie were on the scene as well. Pulling up in her Prius, glancing in her rearview mirror. She can see Frankie and Korsak pull up behind her. Needing to find Jane immediately, she doesn't even bother closing her car door. Instead jumping out and sprinting to a very worried looking Rondo.

"Where is she?" Almost shouting at the frightened man stood in front of her. Maura was so scared and extremely worried about Jane. Not knowing what frame of mind she was going to find her in. That all formalities went out of the window.

Hearing the urgency in the blonde's voice, Rondo points to where Jane is "Round the corner, in the open lock up".

In a flash Maura was gone, with Korsak and Frankie reacting a little slower off the mark. Rounding the corner first, just in time to witness Jane raising her gun to the rapist's head. She felt like she had stopped breathing, not wanting to startle her wife. Fearing that she could spook her to pull the trigger. For Jane to become so wrathful told her everything she needed to know. Not needing to look at the man's face to confirm it's him. Maura knew. _Jane found him_. Not letting the immense fear she felt stop her. She needs to be able to talk Jane down. To save her wife from doing something that she will regret for the rest of her life.

Tentatively nearing the brunette, calling out her name gently "Jane, sweetheart..it's me.. Maura" Standing within arm's length of Jane there is no response from her. Calling to her again but this time in a more affirmative tone. "Jane...I need you to put down your weapon". This seems to get her attention there is a flicker of recognition on her face.

Hearing her wife was a bit disorientating, glancing to her left she didn't even know she was here. Seeing her look so scared just made her feel angry. Not at her but at the kneeling piece of scum in front of her. Looking back at him keeping her Beretta M9 trained on his head. Jane cannot hide the hurt and pain in her voice. "He deserves to die Maura".

Wanting nothing more than to agree with her wife. Standing so close to the man that defiled her makes Maura's skin crawl. Fighting the urge to tell Jane do it, to pull the trigger. But she knows it wrong and will destroy them both. "He deserves to rot inside a prison cell for a very long time".

Remaining silent and just listening to both women. He kept his mouth shut, incase he did or said something that would push the brunette to pull the trigger. This whole situation made him fearful for his life.

Letting the words of what Maura said sink in, she knew she had to put an end to all this madness. Maura was right. Looking back at the smaller man on the floor, her gun was still in her hand and aimed at his head. Trying to lower it felt impossible, like some invisible force was keeping it there. The harder Jane tried the more it caused her hand to start to shake violently. She didn't know what frightened her more. The gun pointed at his head, or that she physically couldn't lower it.

Seeing how hard Jane is trying to lower the gun, Maura gently places her small hands on her wife's. Gently pushing down, helping to lower the weapon.

Without saying a word Maura slides Janes gun out of her hand and passes it to whomever is behind her. Out of the corner of her eye she can that it is Korsak that has taken it. She can also see the younger Rizzoli moving forward. Pulling Maura's rapist onto his feet, Frankie handcuffs him.

Not really aware of what's going on around her, all Jane knows it that it's finally over. All the adrenaline that has been coursing through her body makes her collapse to her knees. Physically and mentally exhausted.

Following her wife down and pulling the brunette into her. She can feel Jane burying her head into her chest. Feeling the brunette letting out all of the rage she has been holding. The pain comes out in a scream. Holding her tighter to her, Maura tries to stop the tears that are freely flowing now. But witnessing Jane break down like this is breaking her heart.

Safely securing Jane's weapon, Korsak leaves the two women alone. Heading over to the younger Rizzoli and his prisoner. Looking into the eyes of Maura's rapist he can't help his nostrils flare. He's secretly hoping that the bastard will say or doing something so he can hit him. Watching him look over to the crying women he spits onto the floor. But the phlegm is mixed with blood from Jane's assault. "The blonde was nice and tight" he says with a bloodied grin. That's all the provocation the older detective needs.

Frankie is about to say something to the prisoner but before he can, Korsak hits him hard in the stomach. Causing the handcuffed man to keel over.

Grabbing him by the hair and lifting his head up, Korsak speaks directly into his ear. "You dumb son-of-a-bitch, you think you're gonna get away with this without consequence" Knowing he shouldn't have hit him but the bastard deserved it. "You hurt a cop". He can see the realisation in the smaller mans eyes. "You hurt one of us, you hurt us all". Letting go of his hair he starts to head back to there car. Calling over his shoulder to his partner "Frankie! Read the bastard his rights".

The younger detective feels nothing but pride for the older man. Korsak is as straight as it comes when dealing with protocol and procedures. But Frankie was glad Korsak hit him, as if he had, he was worried he might have not been able to stop. Pushing his prisoner forward towards the car, maybe being a little bit rougher than he should. "You have the right to remain silent, Anything you say may be used against you in a court of law. You have the right to consult an attorney before speaking to the police and to have an attorney present during questioning now or in the future. If you cannot afford an attorney, one will be appointed for you before any questioning if you wish". Reaching the car, he puts his suspect in the back seat. Closing the door Frankie glances back at his sister and friend. Both women are still in a tight embrace looking afraid to let go of one another. Sobbing in each other's arms.

* * *

Having left both Maura and Jane alone to deal with all their emotional turmoil. Frankie and Korsaks priority is interrogating the piece of scum who raped and attacked there friends. After taking his prints and running them, it came back that there guy wasn't in the system, Korsak had been right. However they found several I.D's on him, running them all they have confirmed who he really is. His name is Daryl Jones.

Korsak had sent the crime tech guys to the lock-up to tear it apart to find anything else they can pin on this guy. Right away they found drugs, guns and counterfeit goods. This guy had his fingers in many different pies. All this was good but he wanted irrefutable evidence. They took a DNA cheek swab as soon as Daryl had arrived at the station then rushed it to the lab.

Seeing Frankie come running down the hallway, Korsak can see him holding a piece of paper. The young detective can barely contain his excitement whilst hearing him shout. "We got him, we got the bastard". Placing the DNA results in the older man's hands, he double checks the results. Just to make sure. Corroborating Frankie's initial assessment he can't help let a grin spread across his face. "Let's go and tell him the good news Frankie" He says turning to enter the interrogation room. Handcuffed to the table is Daryl Jones. They've had someone come and take care of his injuries, and to be honest they looked much worse back at the lock-up. Apart from a some bruising and a couple of small cuts he doesn't look too bad.

Looking up, Daryl sees the two pigs who arrested him enter the room. Trying to move his hands so he can point at his face, "This is police brutality" his movement restricted because of his cuffs, "I want to make a complaint".

Neither detective flinch at his threat. Leaning in so he is only an inch away from Daryl's face, Frankie speaks first. "You might want to listen to what we are about to tell you first". Standing back up straight he takes his place back by Korsaks side. Barely hiding the smirk on his face.

"Daryl Jones, you are under arrest for the following, possession and distribution of a class A drug, for the sale and distribution of unlicensed firearms and the production of counterfeit goods". Stopping and looking at his prisoner, Korsak is just waiting for him to say something cocky.

He can't help but laugh "Is that it? These are my first offences so i'll be out in a few years" Daryl says with a snarl on his face.

Sliding the DNA results across the table and towards Daryl, Korsak can see that Daryl doesn't know what they are. "You know what that is? Daryl"

Sliding the paper-back "No" Daryl says as he glares at the older detective. Feeling like they are both wasting his time.

"I'll educate you, it's a DNA comparison, and you know what this tells me?" Korsak says whilst tapping his finger on the piece of paper. "That you are under arrest for the rape of Dr Maura Isles-Rizzoli and the attempted murder of Detective Jane Rizzoli-Isles".

Daryl stops playing with his hands and glances at Korsak, the realisation hitting him that he is going to be in prison for a long time. If he had known the bitch was a cop he would have left them alone.

"Take him to lock up Frankie" The older detective orders him as he leaves the room with the younger man following close behind.

Escorting the prisoner down to lock-up the elevator doors open to reveal both Maura and Jane. Frankie and Korsak freeze, not sure what is going to happen.

Seeing both the bitches coming towards him, he makes sure to stare at the blonde one. To try and frighten and intimidate her.

As soon as they exited the elevator, Maura is greeted by the eyes of that monster. Those eyes will be forever ingrained into her conscious. She can't move, she's frozen to the spot. Jane is wondering what has frightened her wife. Looking in the direction of Maura's eyeline she sees it. Glaring at her is her rapist. Making Jane's blood boil, quickly she strolls across to him. Grabbing his bruised face and turning it to face her, and away from staring at the blonde. Leaning in she whispers something in his ear. "You know who Paddy Doyle is? I don't think he will take kindly to the fact that you raped his daughter". Pulling back she can see the fear in his eyes. "Enjoy prison" Now she is the one with the smirk on her face. She doesn't need to kill him, Doyle will do the job for her.

Maura is watching the interaction going on, not knowing what Jane is saying to him. But she can see it, the once confident, cocky grin has disappeared from Daryl's face. Now it has been replaced with absolutely fear in his eyes. She's wondering, _What did she say to him?_

Both Korsak and Frankie are transfixed with watching the scene unfold before them, whatever Jane has just said seems to have really shook Daryl up. Once she was finished with him, Frankie resumes his duty of taking him towards the elevator, and to lock up.

Walking over to Korsak. "You need to right me up" Jane says with sincerity in her voice.

Grabbing Jane's arm, Korsak leads her somewhere more private. "Look Kiddo, no one is going to be writing anyone up" he puts his hands up to quieten the protesting brunette. "I'm not saying what you did was right, but that bastard deserved it".

"I can't ask you to lie for me Korsak, I can't" Jane says trying to calm the trembling in her voice.

The older detective takes her hands in his own "You didn't, plus there were no witness, when we got there someone had already worked him over". Jane is about to protest again. "We received an anonymous tip and we responded to it". Gently squeezing her hands to reassure her. "I think you should take those 4 weeks you have left and use them". Glancing over to where Maura is still stood looking at them. "You and Maura go away somewhere, I'll sort it with Cavanagh".

Feeling so overwhelmed with everything that she just envelopes the older detective in a massive hug. Normally feeling conscious about displaying public displays of affection. But today, Jane doesn't care who sees it. Pulling away from him she can see the love and respect he has for her "Thanks Vince".

They don't need to say anything else, and with a mutual understanding between them Jane walks away and heads back to her wife. "Come on, let's get out of here" The blonde doesn't protest. Jane reassuringly places her hand on Maura's back. They both enter the elevator in silence, not saying anything. Both just wanting to get home.

* * *

The drive back had been quiet, neither woman spoke. Too scared to speak and too afraid to hear what would be said.

Making up a pot of tea, when Jane spoke it stopped Maura cold. Just hearing Jane's confession frightened her.

"I would have killed him". Jane says without any remorse in her raspy voice.

Turning around and looking at her wife, Maura is trying to read her face.

"I was ready to kill him, if you hadn't stopped me" Jane says again in a flat tone. Looking into the blonde's eyes.

Maura believes her, she believes that she would have done this. But she can also see the internal struggle that is going on too. The struggle that is going on with her soul. "Jane, as much as you wanted to do it, I don't think you would have. You wouldn't have been able to live with yourself".

Staring down at the floor too ashamed to look at her wife. "Wouldn't I" Starting to play with her hands "That bastard would have deserved it". Jane says with anger dripping from her voice.

Moving forward Maura places her hands on top of Jane's, the brunette linking her long fingers with the blonde's soft manicured ones. "No doubt he would have deserved it, but that's not who you are". Pausing waiting for Jane to look up at her, she doesn't. "Please look at me".

Maura sounded so sad, not wanting to be the cause of her pain she looks up at the bonde. Seeing nothing but love looking back. Even after everything Maura is still the good hearted one.

"There was a part of me that wanted you to pull the trigger" Maura says, seeing a look of shock in her wife's eyes. "I wanted to see him dead, but as much as I wanted that, I wanted you to be around in my life. And if it means I trade my personal revenge for spending the rest of my life with you" looking into the brunettes eyes "I pay it gladly".

Wrapping her long arms around Maura in a great big hug "I don't deserve you, you've seen me at my worst, that I was willing to go as far as kill someone in cold blood" looking into the blonde's eyes Jane asks "why aren't you running for the hills?.

"Because, I know that wasn't you in that lock-up, and deep down I know you wouldn't have done it in the end". Giving Jane a warm smile.

Feeling in absolute awe of this blonde angel in front of her. "You have more faith in me than myself, I honestly wasn't sure what I was going to do" Jane says.

"It doesn't matter now, it's all over and Daryl Jones will spend a very long time in jail" Maura says trying to sound confident and not let her voice tremble when talking about the man that still haunts her dreams.

Spreading across Janes face is a little smirk "I wouldn't be so sure about that, after all you ARE the daughter or a mob boss".

"Oh my god, is that what you told him back at BDP?" the realisation suddenly hitting Maura as to why Daryl Jones looked terrified.

Shifting uncomfortably from side to side, worrying about what Maura's reaction is going to be. "I just pointed that fact out of him, look we both know that as soon as Paddy finds out he's gonna be gunning for him and we aren't gonna be able to stop him" Jane says with absolute honesty.

"Not that I'm encouraging my father's behavior, but if it happens, I for one will not be sad about it" Maura says rather coldly. "Lets not talk about this anymore or even think about Daryl Jones" Walking to the stairs and starting to ascend them "I'm gonna do some yoga and then run us a bath, we both need to unwind" looking over her shoulder she chuckles to herself knowing Jane's not really listening to her.

Not paying attention Jane replys "Yeah sure" then playing over in her head what Maura just said. _Was she suggesting what I think she is? Did I just hear that right?_ "What!" Glancing up at the blonde she can see the grin on her beautiful face. Smiling back at her, in that instant she knew that Korsak was right. They do need to get away, just her and Maura. Time away from everything. Because of the nature of their case, that even if Daryl Jones makes it to court. The evidence on him is enough that neither one of them needs to be there. And because of who they both are within 24 hrs their front garden is a going to be a media frenzy, full of paparazzi and news crews, just like last time. "That would be great, see you in about an hour?".

Nodding back at Jane, just thinking about sharing a bath with her fills her with desire for the beautiful Italian. Slowly with each day passing she wants to be intimate with her. But she knows these things take time and Jane would never force her to do something she didn't want. With that thought she continues ascending the rest of the stairs. Once at the top, making her way towards her Yoga room.

Once Maura is out of sight, Jane grabs the laptop on the counter and starts to search the many travel sites until her eyes find the one she is looking for. Entering her card details then proceeding to the checkout. Feeling the excitement building in her chest, looking forward to the moment of surprising her wife.

After an hour or so of waiting Jane thinks she can hear the bath being made. Before heading up, she grabs a bottle of champagne, champagne flutes and a single red rose from the garden. Once upstairs and in the bedroom, the bathroom door is ajar. Catching a quick glimpse of a naked Maura climbing into the roll top tub. Lately catching any site of the naked blonde makes her heart skip a beat. Feeling nervous and taking a deep breath, pushing the door open with her foot. She is greeted by an angel of true beauty. Staring at her wife, the most beautiful, perfect woman she has ever seen.

Seeing the brunette walk in with her hands full Maura asks in her innocent way "Jane, what are we celebrating?"

Walking over to a side table that has some plant on that Jane has no idea what type it is. Placing the champagne and glasses down, she takes the rose from between her lips and gives it to Maura. "You"

Looking at her wife with a puzzled look. Maura takes a champagne flute from the brunette, who proceeds to pour her a drink. "Me?".

Finishing pouring the second flute, and raising it up in a toast. Jane tells her "That I'm lucky to have you" she says with so much love and affection. Watching her wife blush at the sentiment.

After Jane's impromptu toast she watches the brunette getting undress. Jane undoes her bathrobe and throws it on the floor at the side of the tub. It lands on the floor in a crumpled heap. Usually this would annoy the blonde, but not today. Her heart starts to flutter in her chest as her adrenaline is rising. Her body reacting to seeing Jane naked for the first time in months. Not realising how much she has missed these feelings, and what Jane does to her. She always thought that her wife had the most exquisitely toned body. And even though after her surgery she has lost some of that physique, yet over the past few weeks she has noticed her returning to more of her old self. Not realising she was staring at the naked brunette, until her eyes meet Janes. Feeling the heat rush to her cheeks as she starts to blush from being caught.

"I saw that Maura Dorothea Isles-Rizzoli" Jane says giving her wife a cheeky wink. "You like what you see?". Twirling around and giving her bum a playful slap.

Feeling her body responding to Jane. "Very much so" She says with desire in her voice.

Moving closer to the tub, indicating for the the blonde to scooch forward so she can sit and spoon her from behind. Once fully in the tub, she can feel Maura lean into her. Wrapping her long arms around her, Jane wants to make amends "I'm sorry for everything lately, and I want to make it up to you".

"Jane we both have been through so much" glancing over her shoulder to look at her wife "you don't need to apologize or make anything up to me" Enjoying just being in the comforting arms of Jane, Maura has missed this.

Putting her champagne flute down on the table next to the tub. Jane reaches down to her discarded bathrobe. Removing a folded piece of paper out of the pocket. She leans over Maura's shoulder taking her drink from her. Replacing it with the piece of paper, Janes watches the smaller woman, excitedly waiting for her response.

Unfolding the piece of paper "What's this?" Having a quick glance over her shoulder at Jane. Reading the paper, her heart starts to beat faster in her chest. "Oh my god, Jane". No longer able to contain her excitement she turns around to kneel in front of her wife.

Swallowing the lump that has formed in her throat, Jane is trying not to stare, but Maura's breasts look amazing. She just wants to touch and kiss them. She is broken out of her trance feeling the smaller woman's arms thrown around her neck.

"You like?" Jane says hugging her back. Already knowing that Maura is happy with the surprise.

Pulling away and giving Jane a quick kiss "Of course". Maura says not able to hide the excitement in her voice.

Loving how happy and excited Maura is. "Good, we leave tomorrow for Paris". Jane says with a smile.

"Oh my god" feeling panic set in "we need to pack right away" Maura says in distress as she tries to get out of the tub.

Reaching out Jane pulls the blonde back down into the tub "Not right away" the blonde sits with a splash "let's just sit a while longer. They sit like that for a few minutes, in silence not saying anything. Grabbing a sponge, Jane starts to bathe Maura, first her shoulders, then her arms, as she moves down she accidentally brushes one of the blonde's breasts. Realising what she has done and not wanting to make her wife feel uncomfortable. She pulls her hand away as if it has been burnt, trying to act normal like it didn't happen.

Feeling the heat and desire building between the two of them. Maura knows that Jane didn't intentionally mean to touch her. But the fact that the brunette is waiting for her permission makes her love her more. "Jane, do you want to touch me?".

Jane nervously licks her lips before aswering. "Yes" Feeling more and more nervous. Cautiously cupping both of Maura's firm breasts from behind. Gently and lovingly starts to massage them. "Is...Is this ok?".

"Yes" Maura says breathlessly, feeling more and more aroused. Letting Jane massage her breasts only increases her desire for her more. Looking over her shoulder, the brunette captures her lips in a passionate kiss.

Jane's lust for Maura is obvious, the heat and fire that is burning in between her legs is getting more intense. The moans coming from her wife just spurns her on more. Her hands start to head lower towards the smaller woman's sex. As soon as Jane places her hands on Maura's inner thigh she feels her whole body tense.

Maura was so excited and turned on at Jane's touch but as soon as she felt her hands down near her sex her body reacted on its own. Grabbing Jane's hands to stop her from going any further. "Jane". She says feeling disappointed.

Hearing Maura speak, Jane understands. Kissing the top of the blonde's head "It's ok Maura, It's fine". Wrapping the smaller woman in her long arms.

"I'm sorry Jane" Maura says trying to keep her voice from breaking.

Hugging Maura tighter, Jane hates that she's blaming herself. "Hey, don't you ever apologize, I meant what I said, I just want to be with you". Making sure she believes her words she pulls her further into her. Trying to make her feel safe and protected.

"I think I am the lucky one Jane" Maura says, feeling the love that this woman has for her.

Kissing the top of the blonde's head again, they both stay like that in the tub until the water goes cold. "Right" Jane says "I think you need to start packing" letting out a raspy laugh.

* * *

 _It was a bit frantic this morning everyone is rushing around, Maura couldn't decide on how many bags she was taking with us to Paris. And of course all the luggage had to match and was some designer name that I either couldn't pronounce or even heard of. I seem to be the only one not looking frazzled._ Jane doesn't mind though, they've already loaded there mammoth luggage into the waiting taxi outside. Looking at her wife she hasn't seen her this happy or excited for a long time. This is what they both needed. Hell Jane couldn't even remember the last time she had a vacation. This was long overdue. "Come on Maura, the taxi will only wait another 5 minutes, we wait any longer we're gonna miss our flights". She shouts to anyone who will listen to her.

"Oh shoot, really? I really wanted to bring my Zuhair Murad dress but needs to be packed correctly" Looking over at Jane she see's her tapping her watch. "You're absolutely right, I can buy a new one in Paris", Maura says quickly grabbing her handbag and giving Angela a kiss on the cheek. Hurriedly walking past Jane she gives her a smile.

 _Finally_ Jane thinks to herself. Turning to look at her mom "Thanks for looking after Joe Friday and Bass for us at short notice Ma". Leaning in she gives the older woman a great big hug and a kiss on the cheek too. "Really appreciate it".

"Don't be silly, I don't know why you waited so long?" Giving her daughter a playful wink. "Have lots of fun you two love birds". Angela says.

Both women are waving to the older Rizzoli before she disappears from view. Relaxing into their seats as they make there way to the airport. Maura is spouting all these french names at her. It makes Jane happy to watch and listen to Maura talk about all the different places in Paris. Not because they are particularly exciting or of any cultural significance. No. It was because Maura was so happy. The passion and lust for life that Jane fell in love with was coming back to her. Her soul mate was finally back.

* * *

 _Authors Notes: Thanks for being patient guys, being in Paris I got swept up with the new adventure I was on. Hope you liked this chapter._

 _Peace and Love_

 _Abandon :-)_


	18. Author's note - update

Thanks everyone for reading and following this story. Just wanted to let you all know that this story is by no means finished. However with the current events that have happened in the UK recently in Manchester. Without getting into it and being political it's just a sad and sombre time in the UK at the moment and we also have an election coming up next week to elect a new prime minister. So its difficult to concentrate on other things at the moment. Plus this story has raised some issues of my own that I thought I had dealt with but haven't. (I was sexually assaulted by three guys nearly 7 years ago). So i'm currently seeing a councillor for that. I promise you that I will update as soon as i can.

Thank you again for your support and patience.

Peace and Love

Paula


	19. Paris - Chapter 15

**WARNING - SEX SCENE**

They touched down at Charles De Gaulle airport sometime in the late morning. Checking the weather forecast for Europe before they went, said it would be between 70 and 80 degrees fahrenheit. Leaving the airport they need to hire a cab to take them to their hotel, Jane would have liked to have explored the metro system. But Maura brought so much luggage with them that it would have been impossible to move around.

Going to the many cab stands outside the airport they get in one that is waiting. Having no problem with making sure the driver knew where they want to go as Maura speaks perfect french. Jane has to admit though, that hearing the gorgeous blonde speak the language turns her on. She thought it was so sexy and classy.

Arriving at Hotel Eiffel Seine 1 hour later, the traffic in the city is chaotic and busy. The cab driver helps Jane with all their luggage to the inside of the hotel. Jane leaves Maura to pay the driver, so she can check them in to save some time.

Walking into the hotel Jane is immediately struck by how ornate and glamorous the style of decor is. No doubt Maura would probably recognise the period of style and start spouting all these words that she wouldn't understand. Laughing to herself as she thinks of her wifes googlebrain. Reaching the front desk, standing there to greet her was a very friendly and very smiley french man. "Bonjour et bienvenue à l'hôtel eiffel seine".

Jane doesn't know any french at all so she answers him the best way she can "Erm..Bonjour" smiling back at him. "I'm sorry I don't speak any French" she points to Maura who looks like she's having a really good chat with the cab driver "My wife does but as you can see, she's too busy chatting" letting out a laugh as she returns her attention back to the man behind the desk.

"No problem Madam" giving her a warm smile. The brunette in front of him is very striking with her long wild hair and tanned skin. He thinks he can see a faint long scar on her face, but he brushes it aside, trying to not show that he was looking. Extending his hand out for her to shake he says "I'm Jean and I'm the manager of the Hotel Eiffel Seine".

Shaking Jean's hand she smiles back at him. "Nice to meet you, I'm Jane and my wife's name is Maura" she says whilst pointing towards the entrance.

"Ah yes, the Americans" Doing a few clicks on the computer he finds there booking on the system. "I have you booked into the superior room on the top floor" with a few move clicks he hands Jane there room keys "These are for you, I also have you're Paris passes too".

Taking the room keys from Jean he then disappears into what looks like an office just behind the front desk. Returning less than a minute later, he hands her two little red wallets. Taking them from Jean, Jane looks at them but hasn't got a clue which each card/ticket is used for. Seeing the confusion on the woman's face, Jean explains to Jane what they do.

Taking one of the passes from the brunette he starts to explain what each one is, first he starts with the smallest ticket. "This one is for all the transport in Paris between zones 1-3, so that includes trains, trams, buses and the metro". Moving onto the card that says Paris Pass on the front. "This one gives you one hour boat ride along the river seine, and also entitles you to use the 'hop on, hop off' tour bus". Pausing, he looks at the woman in front of him to make sure she understands. Satisfied she does he continues, "You can access it anytime but once you do, it only lasts for 24 hrs". Seeing her nod at him he carries on. "And this one which is attached to the map is the best one, it entitles you to skip most of the queues at the museums and monuments".

"Really?" Jane says unable to hide her own excitement and surprise at how good the pass is. "My wife is going to love this".

Being a manager of a popular hotel in Paris, he has met a lot of different people from all over the world through the years. And although he has only just met this woman, there is something about her spirit that he really likes. "Excellent, I just need to look at your passports and then you're all good to go".

"Ok" Jane says as she starts to rummage around her backpack. After a few seconds of looking she finds both hers and Maura's passport. Handing them both to Jean, he gives them a look over and he's satisfied everything is in order.

Handing the passports back to Jane. "Just a word of warning, after all the recent terrorist attacks. Any bags you carry with you will be searched or even scanned". He says trying to not scare her.

"Oh really?" Jane says sounding more surprised than scared. After all she risks her life every day.

"Yes I'm afraid so, but I assure you that despite that Paris is a very safe city" he says with genuine sincerity in his voice for the city he loves.

Smiling back at Jean "I believe you" she says with sincerity in her voice. Gathering all her documentation and room keys. Jane is just about to go and drag her wife away from talking the cab driver's ear off, when Jean stops her.

"Mrs Rizzoli, pardon my bluntness but If I may say, you are a very lucky woman" Jean says as he looks past Jane and towards the blonde who is now heading towards them.

Smiling at him Jane says "Yes, yes I am" before turning around and smiling at Maura who has now joined her at the front desk.

"Are we all checked in sweetheart?" Maura says as she grabs one of her bags. Riding the high she is feeling since arriving in Paris. She feels like she is on cloud 9.

Smiling at her wife, Jane can see that Maura is positively glowing with happiness. "This is Jean, and this is his hotel" she says.

"Bonjour Jean, vous avez un bel hôtel" Maura says giving the hotelier a big smile, extending her hand out for him to shake.

Jean is taken aback by the fact that the blonde American speaks beautifully fluent french. Taking her hand he places a kiss on the top of it. "Merci mademoiselle".

This makes Maura blush slightly, she secretly wishes that Jane would learn french as she finds the sound of it so beautiful and sexy.

Witnessing this very french display, Jane can see Maura start to blush. This makes her laugh, for someone so beautiful she doesn't even know it. So when anyone gives her a compliment she doesn't believe it. "Thank you Jean for all your help" she says as she starts to make her way towards the elevator.

"You're very welcome Jane, I hope you both enjoy your visit to this romantic city" Jean says before giving a quick wink to the brunette whilst smiling.

* * *

There hotel suite is on the top floor, the room is so elegant furnished with the finest french furniture, done in the style of art deco.

"Oh how wonderful, Jane please come here?" Maura says stood on there balcony looking out over Paris.

Going over to where the blonde is, Jane comes up behind her and wraps her arms around the smaller woman's waist, looking over her shoulder and towards the Eiffel Tower. "Do you like it?".

Maura cannot believe there view, of course she has been to France before. She spent a summer in a all girls boarding school but that was somewhere in the south. She once came to Paris with her mother who had an art installation at the Musee d'orsay. She would slip away and sit outside and just stare at the buildings architecture. But she had always dreamt of visiting Paris properly, but life was always getting in the way. Either be it with work or her other many charitable commitments, she just never seemed to find the time to come here. "Oh Jane, it's perfect, at night the Eiffel Tower is going to look so beautiful all lit up".

"I hoped you would like it" Jane says in her raspy voice as she places a tender kiss on top of the blonde's head.

Spinning around in Jane's arms, Maura looks up into her wife's amazing eyes. Capturing the taller woman's lips in a passionate long kiss, reluctantly breaking for air she pulls away, "Come on, time to do some shopping" she says running excitedly away to change.

Jane can't help but shake her head as she lets out a hearty chuckle. This is what she loves about the blonde. The excitement she gets from the simplest pleasures of going clothes shopping. Although she personally finds it boring, but she appreciates that Maura likes to dress good. Which in turn always makes her look sexy as hell for her. So it's a win win situation all round. Whilst her wife is getting ready she quickly checks her emails. She has asked Korsak to keep her up to date with anything to do with Daryl and the court case. Maura doesn't know this, Jane doesn't want her to worry or have her think about it whilst they are here in Paris.

* * *

After what felt like an eternity but in reality has only been about 3 hours of clothes shopping they finally sit down at a cafe and have a drink. Jane hasn't really brought much for herself, a black dress, some high heels and a ladies suit. Maura on the other hand has wanted to buy everything she saw in all the shops. Jane has lost track of what the blonde has brought, the only thing she can remember is the very nice looking lace lingerie. Smiling at the thought she is really hoping that her wife is going to wear them tonight under her dress when they go to dinner.

"Oh Jane, this city is wonderful" Maura says before taking a sip of her latte.

Finishing taking a bite of her brioche roll "Good, because tonight we go out to dinner" Jane says whilst giving the blonde a quick wink.

"Jane, you're spoiling me" Maura says before leaning over and kissing the brunette on the cheek.

Placing her hand on Maura's knee under the table, Jane gives it a quick squeeze "You're worth it" she says smiling at her.

Both women are staring at each other intently, seeing the spark and passion that was once lost has now returned. Suddenly brought back down to reality when the waitress interrupts them. "Excuse me?" Would you like anything else?" the young woman couldn't help but start to blush as obviously disturbing such an intimate moment.

"No, thank you, we're good" Jane replies quickly removing her hand from her wifes thigh. As soon as the waitress is out of sight, both women fall into fits of laughter.

Feeling her cheeks starting to flush from the embarrassment of being caught. "Do you think she saw everything?" Maura says with a serious expression on her face.

"Yep" Jane can't help but burst into more laughter. "I think she saw me touching you up in public".

Maura's facial expression is still one of seriousness but as soon as she looks at Jane she too bursts into more laughter. After the laughter subsides they start to gather their things together. Leaving the money on the table in a wallet provided the blonde glances at the taller woman. "Besides, I think we should continue this later". Before Jane can reply Maura walks off ahead, glancing over her shoulder she can see her wife stood there with a look of confusion on her face. Which makes the blonde giggle, _mission accomplished_ she thinks to herself.

* * *

Back at the hotel Jane is waiting downstairs in the foyer for Maura, feeling really nervous but also very excited. It's been a long time since they went out on a date. There is a whirlwind of emotions going round the Italian. Apart from going out with Maura, whom she knows will look stunning as she always does. She also feels conscious about the scar on her face. All that she wants is to to look nice for her wife.

As she waits nervously she hears the elevator chime to signal it has reached the ground floor. Taking a deep breathe and pushing her nerves down to the bottom of her stomach. Jane turns around and what she sees is a vision of pure beauty. Feeling like her heart has stopped beating. She can't move, her feet are glued to the spot. Swallowing the lump in her throat and licking her very drys lips. Not knowing what to say, she is speechless.

As soon as the doors open she is greeted by her hero. Jane looks absolutely stunning in her Jean-Paul Gaultier ladies suit. Maura likes that her wife has tied her hair back into a bun. She doesn't want her to ever feel like she has to hide her beautiful face. The only thing she notices are those eyes. Those smoky, intense, gorgeous eyes that are looking into her and into her soul. Smiling at the effect she is having on her wife, this is one of the many things she loves about her. Even though Jane is a very confidant and very capable, strong woman. When it comes to stuff like this the taller woman turns into a nervous, mumbling teenager again.

Making the first move she slowly and seductively walks over to Jane. They just stare and smile at each other for what feels like an eternity. Deciding to be the first one to break the silence. "You are so beautiful" Maura says never breaking eye contact with the taller woman.

Jane feels that Maura is the most beautiful creature she has ever seen in her life. Taking Maura's hand in her own and bringing it to her lips. Never breaking eye contact she says "So are you" placing a gentle kiss on the back of the blonde's hand. She could have sworn that Maura was starting to blush. Spinning on her heal's, Jane faces the entrance doors to the hotel. Bringing her arm out for the smaller woman to take. "Madam, our chariot awaits" Jane says with a hint of excitement in her raspy voice.

Maura takes Jane's arm, and they both leave the hotel and get into the waiting cab outside, that quickly whisks them away to one of the most exclusive restaurant in Paris, Yam'Tcha.

* * *

Getting out of the cab Maura is stunned as to where Jane has took her. She has heard many wonderful things about this restaurant. That the food is incredible and the waiting list is very long. "Jane, we won't be able to get in unless we have booking, which we don't", the blonde says hoping that her wife won't be too disappointed when they get turned away.

"Well, let's just ask them first ok?" Jane says giving Maura a wink.

Both women make their way inside the restaurant, greeting them is a very cheerful maitre d'. "Bonjour mademoiselle".

"Table for two under Rizzoli-Isles" Jane says to the smiling man in-front of her. He does some checking on his tablet, satisfied he has them on their system he indicates for them both to follow him.

Not really knowing what is going on, Maura is wondering how is it possible that they were able to get a booking at short notice? They didn't even know they were coming to Paris. Trying to run all the possible scenarios in her head but none giving her the answers she needs.

The Maitre d leads them to a table in the corner of the restaurant by the window. Thanking him, Jane pulls Maura's chair out for her. Once the blonde is seated comfortably, she then sits down herself. Before Maura can say anything a waiter comes over to them. "Can I get you both ladies a drink?" he asks.

"Yes please, can you bring us a bottle of Champagne?" Jane asks with a smile. The waiter nods his head and disappears to get what she has asked for.

Returning her gaze to Maura sat opposite her Jane can see the look of confusion on the blondes face. Letting out a laugh just as the waiter returns with their Champagne. Jane pours the first glass for her wife, then one for herself. Taking a sip Maura asks her a question that she has been dying to ask.

"Jane, how did you manage to do all of this?" the blonde says still looking perplexed.

Taking a sip of her drink she says "I know a guy" giving her wife another cheeky wink. Seeing that Maura is still struggling to understand everything she decides to put her out of her misery. "Constance helped me, she knows the owner".

"What? She does? When did you call my mother?" the blonde says. Maura just can't believe that Jane has managed to sort this all out in the space of 48 hrs. She already knew that Jane was amazing and this is just makes her love her more.

Knowing she has impressed Maura, Jane just wants to sweep her off her feet. And she sees she has accomplished it. Reaching over the table she grabs the smaller woman's immaculately manicured hands in her own. "One cannot divulge one's secrets" she says with a smile across her face.

"Oh Jane, I do love you so" Maura says as she reaches over the table and places a gentle kiss on the Italian woman's lips.

Not really wanting to break the contact but Jane can see out of the corner of her eyes that the waiter that served them has now returned to their table to take their order. Both women laugh at how awkward the waiter looks for disturbing them.

Jane decides to let Maura to order for her, as a) she doesn't have a clue when it comes to fancy foods and b) Maura loves ordering food for her which she knows Jane would either never try or has never tasted before. "My gorgeous wife here will be doing the ordering" she says seeing the excitement in the blonde's eyes. Excusing herself from the table she heads to the restroom. Glancing back she can see and hear Maura talking to the waiter in french. This makes her smile knowing how much her wife is loving being in Paris.

* * *

"Oh Jane, thank you for a magical evening" Maura says dragging Jane into their hotel suite and throwing her arms around the taller woman. She brings both their lips crashing together in a prolonged, deep kiss.

Reluctantly breaking the kiss, Jane desperately needs to fill her lungs with air. "Keep this up and I don't know if I will be able to control myself" she says breathlessly.

"Then show me" Maura says seductively to her wife.

Thinking she is joking at first Jane quickly realises that Maura is being serious. "You sure?".

Taking her wife's hand in her own Maura leads her into the bedroom. Glancing over her shoulder she can see how nervous Jane looks. With her back still to her she asks her "Unzip me Jane". Pulling her long blonde hair forward so it's not in the way of the zip.

Swallowing the lump of nerves in her throat, Jane tentatively steps forward. Slowly she starts to unzip Maura's dress. As she is getting lower and lower the new lace lingerie underneath is exposed. Once she has got the zip all the way down, placing her hands on the blonde's hips she gently pulls the dress the rest of the way down to the floor.

Stepping out of her dress, Maura turns around to face her wife, she watches Jane put her dress on the back of a chair so it doesn't crumple. This little act makes her heart swell more for this woman. That even during this act of intimacy her wife is considerate enough to think about how she feels about her clothes.

Stood facing her is the beautiful blonde goddess in her sexy lingerie. Jane can't help but look the woman up and down. As always she is perfect.

Knowing that Jane is too much of a 'gentlemen' in their relationship, Maura knows that she won't do anything until she asks her too. So she steps forward toward the brunette. Bringing her hands up she places them on Jane's chest. Feelling the brunettes heart beating fast against her hand. Without saying a word, she slowly starts to remove Jane's jacket, then her blouse and finally her pants. Both women stand there in silence in both there underwear. The energy in the room is electric. The heat building between them is increasing.

The blonde gently pushes Jane towards the bed indicating for her to lie down. Happily the brunette complies. Moving to her face she brings their lips crashing together in another kiss. Breaking contact, Maura places a tender kiss on the scar on Jane's face, trying to show that she loves all of her. Maura moves her way down to Jane's breasts. Putting her hands around the back of the taller woman, she makes quick work of the bra clasps. Removing the offending item she throws it to the ground. Revealing two pert breasts. Cupping them both in her hands, feeling how hard Jane's nipples have got. She starts to massage them, causing Jane to let out a moan of pleasure. Spurning her on Maura places one of the breasts into her mouth and starts to nibble on Jane's nipple. She can feel Jane's body reacting to her touches underneath her. Feeling her hips starting to grind against her. Maura keeps making her way down her wifes incredible body. She reaches the scar from the surgery after the attack, feeling Jane tense underneath her. She places loving kisses on the scars, making sure that Jane can feel the love that she has for her. That she loves all of her, scars and all. This makes Jane relax. Moving lower again she reaches the hem of Jane's panties. Wrapping her fingers underneath she gently starts to pull them down. Exposing her wife's sex, she can already feel the heat coming from her folds.

Climbing back up Jane to face her, they kiss again, this time it's more intense and passionate with tongues crashing against each others. Whilst kissing away Maura brings her hand down to Jane's sex. Feeling how wet Jane already is, she inserts a finger. Causing Jane to moan out loud. "Oh god". Maura pumps her finger in and out of Jane, causing her to grind against her hand. She knows Jane is close to cuming. So she inserts another finger and starts to increase the speed. Getting faster and faster. She can feel the walls of Jane's sex clamping down on her fingers the more closer to the edge Jane is getting. "Oh..Maura...I'm..gonna..cum" Jane says in her delirious state of arousal.

Maura feels a quick stab of guilt. Knowing that Jane must have been sexually frustrated these past months for her to climax so quickly. But she knows Jane would never make her do anything she didn't want to do. And even now, Jane hasn't touched her, she's waiting for permission from the blonde. Maura can't believe how lucky she is to have this woman to call her own. Hearing Jane's moans brings her back to reality. A few more thrusts and she can feel Jane go over the edge.

Jane's breathing is ragged as she is coming down from riding the wave of ecstasy. She feels Maura remove her fingers from inside her. Glancing over to the blonde she places a gentle kiss on her soft lips. "I love you" Jane says as she looks into her wife's eyes.

Maura doesn't say anything she just lays there in Jane's arms. After a few minutes she whispers into Jane's ear. "Touch me, Jane".

Jane doesn't answer but brings their lips together in another prolonged, passionate kiss. She makes her way down the blonde's body and to her breasts. Cupping both breasts she gently pushes her bra up, making both breasts pop out. Taking one in her mouth she starts to nibble and suck on a nipple. Making Maura moan out. Jane takes her time, once satisfied she has shown enough attention to the left breast, she does the same with the right one.

Making her way down the blonde's soft body, she places gentle kisses, making sure Maura knows she is loved and in a safe place. Jane isn't expecting much more than some heavy petting with the blonde. As she knows she isn't ready for any type of penetration. Jane is just happy to touch her.

Reaching the hem of Maura's panties she stops. She isn't going to go any further unless she wants her too. Looking up at blonde she indicates with her head to carry on. Jane slowly and carefully removes her panties. Stopping to make sure that Maura is still ok. Happy she is she continues. Jane can't help but just stare at her wife's sex. She would like nothing more than to touch her, but she won't. She loves and respects Maura too much to violate her trust like that.

Placing gentle kisses around Maura's sex and on the inside of her thighs. Jane knows Maura is aroused as she can smell it and feel the heat coming from her folds. So Jane can get a better view she gently spreads Maura's legs. The blonde doesn't tense up or give her any indication that she is uncomfortable. Jane takes this as a good sign, she can see her clit, she gently blows on it. Causing Maura to moan and react. Stopping what she is doing Jane looks up at the blonde. "Can I taste you?" she asks. Maura nods that she would like that.

Jane's heart is beating so hard in her chest. Bringing her head towards Maura's swollen clit she takes it in her lips and starts to suck and lick. _God she tastes so good_ Jane thinks so herself. Maura's body jerks in response to Jane's touch. Jane stops thinking she has done something wrong.

"Don't stop" Maura says as she places her hand on the back of Jane's head, pushing her back down to what she was doing before.

Jane isn't going to argue with her. She resumes what she was doing before. Sucking and licking Maura's now engorged clit. Feeling Maura's fingers in her hair she increases her sucking. She can hear Maura moan "Jane...please...I'm...close". Speeding up the licking she sucks a little bit harder. Maura's thighs are clamping down around her head as Jane sends her over the edge. Tasting that sweet liquid that she has missed so much. She gives her few more licks to help her ride the wave of euphoria. Satisfied she has done enough she climbs back up Maura and places her gentle kiss on her soft lips.

Breaking the kiss Maura looks at Jane next to her "Thank you for loving me Jane" she says as she snuggles into her.

"Always" Jane says as she places a kiss on top of the blonde's head. They stay like that for a while before exhaustion takes them both into a peaceful sleep. Both knowing that nothing will ever break the love that these two women have for each other. Its eternal.

* * *

Back in New York Daryl Jones has been put into solitary confinement, not as punishment but for his own protection. The judicial system believe they can protect him more easily this way than having him in general population.

Daryl's not really bothered about being in solitary, at least it's quiet. And so far whatever he's asked for the guards have got it for him. He must have fell asleep as the sound of the jail door being unlocked woke him up. He initially found this a little odd, as by his reckoning it must be early in the morning.

Getting up and wiping the sleep out of his eyes he looks at the guard "What's going on?" he says. The room was poorly lit so he doesn't see the face of the guard, that is until he steps into the light. "Fuck!". He knew it was game over.

"Do you know who I am?" the man asks. Seeing Daryl nod his head as yes he continues. "Then you know why I am here?". Again another nod from the terrified young man stood before him. "Good, then I'll begin".

Blood curdling screams could be heard coming from solitary confinement, they continued for sometime. But there was no one coming to help, Daryl Jones was all alone. After awhile the screams stopped and silence returned once more to the prison.

In a few hours time the body of Daryl Jones will be discovered with an Ice Pick in his heart. The calling card for none other than Paddy Doyle. A warning for anyone else who tries to hurt his daughter again.

 _ **Author's Note:**_

 **Thank you all for being patient with me. I'm sorry this chapter has taken so long to finish and I apologize if the sex scene is rubbish or offends anyone. Its the first time i've written one.**

 **At the moment it's hard to concentrate on anything. I am seeking help, but like anything, it takes time. Just want to thank you all again.**

 _Bonjour_ = Hello

 _Bonjour et bienvenue à l'hôtel eiffel seine =_ Hello and welcome to the hotel eiffel seine

 _Bonjour Jean, vous avez un bel hôtel =_ Hello Jean, you have a nice hotel

 _Merci mademoiselle =_ Thank You Miss


	20. Home - Chapter 16

Maura and Jane are coming to the end of their time in Paris. It's the night before they fly back to the states. Hating that she has been keeping secrets from her wife, Jane steals a quick glance at the blonde. Knowing that she needs to tell her about Dary and the potential minefield they'll be both walking into when they arrive home. Returning her gaze back to her laptop she closes it whilst taking a big sigh. So lost in her own thoughts that when she felt hands on her shoulders they made her jump.

"Hey, what's wrong my love?" Maura says massaging Jane's shoulders sensing something is bothering her.

 _Busted_ Jane thinks to herself. Leaning into the massage that the blonde is giving her on her shoulders. Wanting to stay in this moment but knowing that she can't. Letting out another big sigh before turning around to face her wife. "There's something I need to tell you". Reading her wife's face she can see the look of concern in her eyes. "You might want to sit down".

Hearing those words instantly makes her stomach drop, anxiety and uncertainly starts to rise from inside of her. And seeing the look of dread and fear in her wifes face only makes it worse. Taking a seat on the edge of the bed, Maura sits there looking at Jane in silence.

Getting up from her chair, Jane walks over and kneels in-front of Maura whilst taking her wife's hands in her own. "I asked Korsak to keep me informed with anything to do Daryl". Pausing she takes another deep breathe before continuing. "He's dead" she says in a cold tone.

"What! How?" Maura asks. It's not that she is bothered that he is dead, it's just that she feels cheated that he wasn't sentenced for his crimes first. The more she thinks about it the more angry she is becoming.

Jane is wondering if she should tell her everything. "There's something else I should tell you too, I've known about this for nearly a week". Looking into the blonde's eyes she can see the anger and frustration rising. Before the blonde can chastise her she continues. "Please don't be mad at me, I just wanted you to enjoy our holiday without having to think of HIM!".

Instantly she can feel herself start to relax. "Oh Jane, I'm not mad at you" Maura says giving Jane's hand a gentle squeeze before standing and heading to look out of the window. "Just frustrated, you can't protect me from everything".

"I know, but this I could, even if it was only for a short while" Jane says as she gets up and stands behind Maura.

Turning around Maura faces brunette. "Tell me everything" she says sounding completely detached.

"Ok" Jane says knowing that this is what her wife needs to hear right now, and she wasn't going to argue with her. "Daryl was placed in solitary confinement, the courts were worried that putting him in general population would be too dangerous for him". Playing with her scars on the back of her hands she continues. "After all, this/us" pointing to herself then her wife "is classed as a high profile case, the DA wanted to make sure it made it to court". Stopping she looks at Maura, getting a slight nod from the blonde she carries on. "The night Daryl Jones was murdered, the guards on rotation were none of the regular guys on the prisons payroll. He was found dead in his cell, tied to a chair. He had been tortured".

Walking over to the mini bar that is in the room. Maura opens the fridge and finds what she is looking for. Grabbing all the mini wines she places them on the desk, unscrewing the first one she downs it. Grabbing the second bottle she starts to unscrew the cap. "And! I can tell you haven't told me everything" she says before downing the second bottle.

"Come on Maura, don't" Jane says taking a step towards her wife. If she was honest she could do with a drink too, but not like this.

Raising her hand to stop Jane from coming any closer. "Please continue" Maura says taking a pause from contemplating whether or not to finish the other mini bottles of wine.

"Erm, official cause of death is that he bled out, they found his severed penis in his mouth" Jane says watching her wife down another bottle of wine. "He also had an ice pick in his heart with a photograph attached". With the last part she noticed a considerable change in her wife.

Maura knew what that meant, her mobster father did this for her. She can't say she was angry with him, in fact she felt almost pride for him for exacting revenge on the man that had defiled her and nearly killed her wife. "What was on the photograph?" she asks but what she hears next surprises her.

"Us on our wedding day, it seems he's sending a warning to everyone about us both". Jane says hating the fact that a wanted, murderous mobster boss like Paddy Doyle. Is now protecting them both. As a cop it burns her to the bone, she doesn't want to be associated with him in anyway. Its well known he has cops on the take. She doesn't want people to think she's one of them.

The room feels like it's starting to spin, with all this recent new information, and downing all those bottles of wine has made her feel sick. She can feel the bile on the back of her throat. She tries to open her mouth to speak but before she knows it she's running to the toilet to empty her stomach contents. Wave after wave of nausea hits her, with each vomit she sees Daryl on top of her. Laughing as he defiled her. Soon the tears were flowing freely, the anger she has felt now gone and replaced with sadness. Feeling gentle hands on her back made her jump slightly at the sudden and unexpected touch.

"Shhh, baby it's ok, I'm here" Jane says as she helps hold her wifes hair out of her face, whilst rubbing circles on her back. It breaks her heart seeing the affect that, that bastard still has on Maura. Even in death he still is haunting her.

Once the vomiting has finished Maura sits on the floor of the bathroom staring at nothing in particular, but not wanting to meet those brown eyes of her wife. Knowing that if she does her walls will completely crumble.

Seeing that Maura doesn't want to meet her eyes. Jane tries to read her face and can see the sadness but she can see something else. Shame. That was it, she can't stand by and do nothing. Reaching out she gently touches her wife's chin and lifts her head so there eyes meet. "Hey, look at me". Once those beautiful eyes meet hers she continues. "Don't you ever feel ashamed about any of this. If you need to scream and shout do it. If you need to break shit up then do it. And if you need to hit someone then hit me". Making sure that Maura believes what she is saying, Jane gently places both her hands on the side of the blonde's face and looks deep into her eyes. "I love you and will always be here for you, vomit and all" she says with a smile.

The blonde knows that she has nothing to feel ashamed about but sometimes she does. And she knows that Jane will love her, faults and all. Throwing her arms around the taller woman in front of her, she can't help but sob in her arms.

And that's how the two women stayed, wrapped in each other's arms, trying to keep the world out for as long as possible. As tomorrow, once they arrive home they will have to face the fallout of Daryl Jones murder.

* * *

Maura and Jane arrive back in Boston late morning, the journey had been a quiet one. Maura wasn't in a talkative mood and Jane wasn't going to push her either. She knows that if her wife wants to talk to her she will.

Jane had already been warned by Frankie that following the graphic murder of Daryl Jones the media had taken residence outside there house. So as much as she hated to do it, she was going to her mother's. When her and Maura had gotten married they had made a deal with Angela that she would move out of the guesthouse. Jane would keep her apartment but sublet it to her instead.

Knocking on the oh so familiar door, Jane walks in and is greeted by the older Rizzoli woman.

"My babies" Angela says as she heads over to Maura first, throwing her arms around the blonde woman and giving her a big hug. Pulling away she tucks a stray bit of blonde hair behind Maura's ear. "My sweet, sweet girl" placing a kiss on her forehead. "I imagine you feel tired from the journey, the bedrooms all made up for you". Giving her a warm smile.

Angela has always been the mother she had always wanted from the very first time she had met her. And even now she has nothing but immense love and respect for the older woman. "Thank you Angela, I do feel quite tired so I will go and have a nap" Maura says as she leans in and gives the older woman a peck on the cheek before disappearing into the spare bedroom.

Once the door is closed Angela takes her daughter's arm and leads her into the living room. "So how's she really doing?" she asks as she takes a seat on the couch.

Not looking directly at her mother, Jane lets out a big sigh. "She'll be ok, she just needs time" She says as she looks at the older woman with sadness in her eyes.

"Oh baby" Angela says as she takes Jane in her arms and embraces her. Its very rare that she sees her daughter cry. "It'll be alright" she says rubbing circles on her back.

It was more a buildup of frustration and anger that she can't do anything to help Maura. And with her mother hugging her just made those walls crumble that she had built to be strong for her wife. After a few minutes, as she felt that all that emotion had been emptied she breaks away from the older woman's embrace. "I'm ok Ma" she says giving her a smile.

Leaning forward Angela places a kiss on Jane's forehead "I know you are" she says giving her daughter a warm smile back. "Right" she says tapping Jane's knee. "I'm gonna start to make something to eat for the both of you" getting up she heads to the fridge. She pulls out a beer and hands it to her daughter.

"Thanks ma" Jane says happy to take the cold drink.

Angela heads back into the kitchen and starts to prepare the meal. "Make yourself comfortable, I'll let you know when it's ready".

Taking a swig of her beer, Jane makes herself comfortable on the couch and she starts to flick through tv channel before stopping on a sports channel. Before she knows it her eyelids feel heavy and a few minutes later sleep takes her.

 _ **Authors Note:**_

 _ **Sorry for the delay and thank you for being patient with me. This story is coming to it's end. Thank you for coming on this journey with me. :-)**_

 _ **Peace and Love**_

 _ **Paula**_


	21. Surprise - Chapter 17

Although it has been a few weeks since returning back to the states from Paris. The media were still interested in both Maura and Jane. After less than a week with staying with Angela, Jane was ready to go home and face the media onslaught.

Maura too seemed more relaxed and happy being back in there home. She felt that she didn't need to put on a front for the older Rizzoli. At least at home she didn't need to hide how she was feeling in-front of her wife. And even if she tried, Jane could always read her anyway.

Gradually over the weeks the media circus that was camped outside of their house was getting smaller and smaller until only a few remained. Luckily for them a local celebrity was caught buying cocaine just before they crashed a very expensive and high powered vehicle into a street light. The whole event was very public and had gone viral. Due to them accidentally broadcasting it live all over social media. I guess to the press the Rizzoli-Isles were old news now. Which was fine to both of them.

Jane tried not to overcrowd Maura too much since returning home, not wanting to push her away from her. Walking past the study, she decides to turn around and go in. Pushing the door open, Maura is sat in her big leather arm chair staring out of the big bay window. Jane has always known that it have been hard for her wife to understand and explain what she was feeling. When they first met, some called Maura socially inept or socially awkward. As she would sometimes say truthful but inappropriate comments. Not because she was being rude or mean but to Maura her thoughts and feelings were something to be explained logically and efficiently. This was one of the many qualities that had attracted Jane to her, first as a friend then later as lovers.

Not wanting to startle the blonde, Jane is about to speak before she recognises the familiar ring tone coming from inside one of the drawers in the antique desk.

Lost in her own thoughts at first she doesn't hear the ringing of the mobile in her desk. Ringing again, this time she hears it. Swiveling around in the arm chair, seeing Jane stood there looking at her, startles Maura.

Shaking her head at her wife, Jane indicates for her not to answer the phone.

Reaching down and opening the draw, Maura takes the burner phone and passes it to her wife. She is in no mood or in the right mental state to have a conversation with the man on the other end of the phone. Not today.

Reluctantly taking the phone, Jane answers it. "What do you want Doyle?" she says sounding impatient.

"Ah, Detective Rizzoli, If you don't mind I would like to talk to my daughter". The Irish mobster boss says trying to hide the irritation in his voice.

"Don't you think you've done enough" Jane says no longer able to hide the anger in her voice. Turning her back to her wife trying to shield her from some of the conversation. "You have robbed Maura of getting Justice in a court of law".

Jane is such an honorable and noble person, that even though she hates Paddy Doyle for what he is. She still doesn't want Maura to hear her say anything too bad about him. After all he still is her father and does love her in his own unique way. "Jane" Maura calls out. Jane is about to lay into Doyle some more when she hears Maura's voice from behind her. Turning around she sees those beautiful eyes of hers. Nodding her head that she understands. Jane places the phone down on the desk and puts it on loud speaker.

Doyle thought he could hear the faint call of his daughter in the background. "Detective I do not expect you to understand until you have a daughter of you're own" he says with sadness in his voice. Taking a pause he resolves himself back to the hardened killer he is. "And I would do it again".

Jane is about to respond when Maura interrupts her. "I will never agree to your methods of keeping me safe. And even though I would have liked nothing more than that bastard to have died. You can't just go around killing people". She says with some anger in her voice. "I know that you love me as your daughter. But please do not call for awhile, I need time".

"Of course Maura" feeling a tinge of sadness he understands what kind of man he is. "I will respect your wishes". And before he hangs up he addresses Jane. "And detective, I know what you nearly did".

With that Jane tenses up, remembering how close she came to executing Daryl Jones in that lock-up. Not saying anything she just remains silent whilst looking into Maura's eyes. Still searching for forgiveness for a crime she nearly committed.

"You were willing to kill for my daughter, to protect her honour, and that I respect you for" Paddy says with admiration and sincerity in his voice. As much as he hates that his daughter is married to a cop. He does have genuine respect for Jane, time and time again she has proved her love and loyalty to his daughter. Even when it has compromised the detective's own ideals and morals to protect Maura.

Jane doesn't like that her wifes sperm donor of a father respects her. The only reason she is still listening to him is for Maura's sake. "I don't give a shit what you think" looking deep into her wife's eyes she says "I would die before anyone ever hurts Maura again".

Paddy isn't easily insulted, and not by a cop. But he believes Jane's words. He knows she nearly died trying to get to Maura during the attack. And he also knows that she nearly killed for her too. "I know detective, take care of my daughter, make her happy".

Replying with one simple word before hanging up the call. "Always". Jane says before tossing the burner phone back into the drawer. Making her way round the desk so she is standing behind Maura. Placing her long arms around the smaller blonde woman embracing her in a warm hug. Placing a tender kiss on top of her wife's head. She asks "You ok?".

Not really knowing how she feels. "I don't know". Maura says without looking up at Jane. Fearing her eyes would give too much away.

Suddenly Jane thinks of an idea that would cheer them both up. "Go and run a nice hot bath, light some candles, have a glass of wine and listen to some dead composer and I'll prepare something to eat for supper".

"That sounds like a wonderful idea" Maura says as she gets up from the chair and gives Jane a quick kiss before disappearing out of the study and upstairs to the bathroom.

Smiling to herself Jane knows she has a good couple of hours to sort out her surprise for Maura as some of the classical music scores her wife listens to can go on forever. Heading to the garage she starts to put her plan into motion.

* * *

Maura feels so refreshed and relaxed after her bath, plus she did have a couple of glasses of sauvignon blanc which has probably helped too. Heading downstairs she is surprised to see the kitchen empty. She was expecting to see Jane either cooking or sorting take away out for them on the table.

Feeling slightly confused, she didn't think she had been that long in the bath that Jane had gone to bed already without her. Just then she notices the patio door is slightly open. Heading towards it she can hear the faint sound of music playing outside. Pushing the curtain aside what greets is something magical and unexpected.

In the middle of the garden under the pagoda is a teepee tent, one she recognises from the camping trip that Jane took her on a few years ago. It was her first experience outside in the great outdoors and she loved every minute of it. Next there were fairy lights all over the beams of the pagoda. And on the floor in front of the tent was a small bbq. The smell of whatever was cooking on it making her stomach grumble with hunger.

She was just about to call out for Jane when the taller woman grabbed her from behind.

"Surprise" Jane says whilst whispering in the blonde womans ear.

Spinning around to face her wife. Maura is overwhelmed that Jane has done this for her. "Oh, Jane, this is wonderful".

Taking her wife's hand Jane leads her to the tent. "I wanted to do something nice for you, and I figured that you had such a good time when we went camping that we could do it again. And it's such a beautiful evening out" she says with a big grin on her face.

"I would like that very much" Maura says as she starts to make her way inside the tent. She see's that Jane has brought some of the cushions from inside the house out and tried to make it as cosy as possible.

Watching Maura snuggle inside the tent whilst helping herself to the hot chocolate that she made in a flask. Jane turns her attention back to the bbq and starts to plate up. Giving the first serving to her wife. "For you madame" giving the blonde a wink.

"Oh Jane, you do spoil me" Maura says taking the plate from her.

Making herself a plate up aswell before snuggling next to Maura inside the tent. Giving her a little nudge with her shoulder. "You're worth it" Jane says whilst giving her another big Rizzoli grin.

Leaning over Maura gives Jane a passionate kiss. Breaking away she smiles at the woman in front of her.

"What was that?" Jane says smiling back.

It amazes Maura sometimes that Jane just doesn't know how amazing as a person she is. "For being you".

Leaning in Jane gives Maura a kiss back this time. Breaking away and smiling at the blonde woman she says "Anytime".

They stay in the moment for as long as possible. Enjoying the food, the music, the atmosphere and even the hot chocolate. In this moment in time, there back in the woods on that camping trip. Where there is no one else in the world but just the two of them and their love for each other.

* * *

Angela had received a call from Frankie earlier in the day to come and meet him at the Division One Cafe at BPD. Always happy to oblige one of her children she arrives a little bit early, grabbing a coffee and taking a table in the corner of the room. After waiting for about 30 minutes she hears the familiar voice of her son calling over to her. Getting up she is greeted by a kiss on the cheek from Frankie.

"Sorry I'm late Ma, got stuck on the freeway, there was a DUI" he says whilst indicating to someone behind the counter that he would like his regular order.

"That's alright love" she says whilst taking a sip of her coffee. "So what's the emergency?". The older woman says whilst looking at her son.

Starting to shift uncomfortably in his seat. Frankie says "I was just wondering if you had heard anything from Jane and Maura". Just then the cafe assistant hands Frankie a brown paper bag as well as a takeaway cup of coffee. "Thanks" he says handing them a $10 bill.

"No I haven't, not since they left my apartment and went back home" Angela says not at all to worried about the girls. Seeing that Frankie isn't happy with her answer she tries to ease his mind. "I'm sure they just need time away from everybody, but if it makes you feel better I will go round there tomorrow morning" she says giving him a motherly smile.

Frankie knows he's probably overreacting but he does worry about both his sisters. "Thanks Ma". Getting up to leave. "Sorry Ma, I've got to eat my lunch on the go, but thanks for coming". Leaning in he places another kiss on his mother's cheek.

"No problem baby, don't work too hard". Angela says as she sees Frankie wave back towards her as he leaves the cafe and starts to make his way upstairs.

* * *

Both women had been snuggling up to each other whilst staring at the stars. Neither one saying a word. Nothing needed to be said. It was obvious how much each other cared for each other.

That's why when Maura spoke it sounded almost foreign to Jane's ears.

"I feel cheated" Maura says still staring at the stars.

Turning her head Jane looks at her wife. Not saying anything knowing that it could stop Maura from opening up to her.

"What Paddy did, I feel like I got no Justice" Maura says trying to keep her voice steady. Feeling a gentle squeeze of her hand she continues. "I wanted everyone to hear and know what he did to me, to us. That he was a horrible human being".

Jane's heart breaks for her wife. Placing a hand on the blonde's face she turns her head so she is looking at her. "What can I do?".

A single tear rolls down Maura's face. Feeling Jane brush it away. She asks "Hold me, and don't let me go".

Without saying a word Jane scoops the smaller woman into her arms, embracing her in a tight hug. She can feel Maura snuggle her face into her chest. Holding her tighter, she places gentle kisses on the top of the blonde's head, whispering promises that are only meant for Maura to hear.

After a while she can feel the smaller woman relax in her arms. Listening she can hear the faint sound of snoring. Not wanting to move to wake Maura, Jane snuggles up closer to her. Feeling tired she closes her eyes and hopes to have happy dreams filled with love and hope for the future.

* * *

The next morning Angela had kept her promise to her son and went to check on both Jane and Maura. Checking her watch she knew that it wouldn't be too early. Knocking on the door she patiently waits. Nothing. So she knocks again. And again nothing. _Odd_ she thinks to herself. Trying the door handle to see if it is unlocked it doesn't budge. Looking around she can see that both their cars are parked on the drive way.

Pulling her phone out of her pocket she calls Jane. The older woman thinks she can hear a ringing coming from inside the property. Glancing through the window she can see a phone vibrating and lit up on the kitchen counter.

 _They must be in_ she thinks, as Jane wouldn't go anywhere without her phone. Making her way around the back she hopes that the patio doors are unlocked. Once she is through the back gate what she sees melts her heart. Quietly she moves stealthly into position so as to not wake both Maura and Jane. Who are both cuddled in each other's arms in a teepee in the back garden. Quickly before they wake up she snaps a picture of the two.

Smiling at the two she realises she is staring longer than needed and it now starting to get a little creepy. So instead the older woman decides to leave them be a bit longer and goes to prepare breakfast for them.

Sneaking into the house she starts to look through the cupboards and the fridge to see what she can rustle up. Thankfully she finds what she needs and starts to get to work.

* * *

Both women seem to wake up at the same time, whether or not it was because one or both of them started to stir. But either way, the first thing each other see's is the eyes of there true love staring back.

"Morning" Maura says before leaning in and giving Jane a kiss on the lips.

Stretching Jane snuggles into Maura for more warmth as it's a little cool this morning. "Morning gorgeous, sleep well?".

Smiling back Maura actually felt pretty good. "Better than I have in a long time".

"Good" Jane says hoping that her surprise worked. Smiling at the blonde in front of her she realises she can smell bacon and eggs. It smells amazing. Looking at the house she can hear someone in the kitchen "Someone is making breakfast". That's when she realises who it must be. And at the same time Maura comes to the same conclusion and in unison they both say "MA".

Not able to resist the smell anymore, both their stomachs rumble. Entering the house they are greeted by an amazing breakfast spread on the dining room table. There is everything. Juice, Coffee, Fruit, Oatmeal, Bacon, Eggs, and Toast. And at the head of the table is Angela, looking so proud of herself.

"Morning Ma" Jane says giving her a kiss on the cheek. "This looks amazing" she says whilst taking a seat. "Thanks Ma".

Maura is a little overwhelmed by all this. Normally she wouldn't eat Bacon and Eggs but today it smelt and looked so good she couldn't refuse. "Oh Angela this looks wonderful" she says whilst giving her mother in law a hug. "Thank you".

"Anything for my babies" Angela says. Removing her apron she puts it on the counter. "Right I will let you enjoy your breakfast in peace". Both of the girls look at her with confusion. There is so much food on the table that it seems a shame for her not to stay.

Pulling out a chair for her mother. "Come on Ma, join us". Jane says indicating with the empty seat.

"Yes, please do Angela, there is far too much for the both of us here" Maura says with a big grin on her face.

How can she refuse them. They both look so happy and light. Like a big weight has been lifted off of the pair of them. Smiling, Angela places a kiss on the top of each of their heads before taking the offered seat.

The next couple of hours are filled with laughter and talk. Nothing in particular but no mention of Daryl Jones or Paddy Doyle. It fills Angela with love and hope, knowing that both women have made it through the dark and back into the light. She can see it in both their eyes. The spark, the zest and drive for life has returned. And that's when she knew. Her babies were ok.

 _ **Authors Note:**_

 _ **Thank you all once again for your kind words of encouragement and support. I will be doing one more chapter for this story to bring it to its conclusion. However I do have plans to write a prequel on how they met, and subsequently fall in love. And I have plans for a sequel too, with plans of starting a family together. :-) So watch this space.**_

 _ **Peace and Love**_

 _ **Paula**_


	22. Back to Work - Chapter 18

_**Warning - Triggers - Mentions of Rape and Abuse - Warning**_

Both Maura and Jane have been back at work now for just over a month. Both felt anxious about returning to their jobs but for different reasons. For Jane it was the scar on her face, she was nervous that someone would mention it. But to her surprise no-one brought it up. Not even Crowe, which surprised her. Maybe he wasn't a total dick after all.

For Maura she was unsure how she would react when out on a call. Especially if it had been someone who had been a victim of sexual assault. Luckily for her she hasn't had one yet, but that luck was about to change.

"Rizzoli-Isles" Jane says into her phone. "Send me the address, I'll be there as soon as I can". Hanging up the call she turns to face her wife, knowing that she too has been called in.

* * *

"Isles-Rizzoli, Ok, photograph the scene and wait for me to arrive". Maura ends the call and can see that Jane is waiting for her to gather her medical bag, so they can arrive at the crime scene together.

Driving to the crime scene both women sit in silence, both unsure what they are walking into. Jane felt nervous unsure how her wife would react it, if it was a sexual assault.

Before getting out of the car, reaching over Jane takes her wife's hand in her own and gives it a gentle squeeze. Nothing needs to be said, knowing that the blonde understands. Walking over to the crime scene Jane is greeted by Korsak, "Hey, what we got?" she asks him.

"Hey Rizzoli" the older man says before leading her to the two bodies. "We have two females, haven't found any I.D yet. Hopefully the doc will have more luck when checking the bodies".

Nodding her head Jane agrees with him. Looking at the first body she can clearly see that the poor woman has been beaten. Satisfied she can't determine anything more from the body she walks over to where Maura is crouched down taking vitals from the other victim.

Taking some vitreous fluid from the eye. Maura looks at Jane and says "Potassium is clear, she's been dead less than 48hrs".

"Can you check to see if there is any I.D on her" Jane says. She always hates this part, without a name they have nowhere to start.

Searching the pockets that she can see, Maura finds nothing. Unfortunately the woman is laid on her front. Signaling to one of her technicians she indicates for them to help her turn the body over. Once the woman is carefully laid on her back the extent of her injuries are more clear. Again this woman has been beaten, but it was also clear that she has been sexually assaulted. Her blouse has been torn and it looks like her bra has been cut exposing her chest. Her dress is pushed up around her waist and her knickers have been discarded near the body. It's clear to anyone that this woman had gone through hell. Without realising it, Maura couldn't stop staring at the poor woman's face. No longer at the crime scene, she is instead back in the park on that fateful night.

Noticing the change in her wife, Jane doesn't want to embarrass her. Indicating with her head to the older detective to give them a minute alone, he looks at Maura then back at Jane before understanding the current situation. Crouching down so she is nearer to the blonde woman, gently placing her hand on her back. "Hey" she says.

Feeling a little disorientated, Maura is unsure where she is for second. Blinking she remembers being at a crime scene. "I'm sorry" she says trying to keep her voice from breaking.

"Hey, don't apologize, I get it" Jane says showing her palms to her wife. "After Hoyt I couldn't stand to be near anyone with a scalpel. As soon as I saw one I would be right back in that basement with him".

Turning to look at Jane, a single tear falls down Maura's face.

Wiping it away with her thumb. "You don't have to be on this case". Jane says "We can always get Pike".

"Like hell you will, that man is incompetent" Maura says with more anger in her voice than she intended to. "This woman deserves to have a voice, and I am that voice".

Jane knows she isn't angry with her, and that she's just reacting to this current situation. "Hey, I'm on your side".

"I'm sorry, I know you are" Maura says feeling guilty for snapping at her wife. She knows that Jane only means well.

Giving her wife a quick kiss on the cheek, not caring who sees her. "Ok, but if it gets too much" Jane says whilst getting up and giving the smaller woman a smile. "Ok, I got to go". Starting to walk away Maura calls her back.

"Jane, this might help" Maura says before tossing a wallet in her direction.

Catching the wallet, Jane starts to look through it. Finding a driver's licence with a picture of the deceased woman. "Thanks Maura" she says feeling relieved that at least they can identify one of the vics.

* * *

Arriving back at BRIC, both Korsak and Jane are thankful that the wallet contains all the information they need to run one of there vic's name through their database.

"Hey Frankie, can you run Sylvia Bradshaw for me?" Jane says tapping her younger brother on the shoulder.

Starting to type her name into there search engine. Several different possibilities pop up on the screens. "Whats her date of birth so I can narrow this down for you?" Frankie says without taking his eyes off the screen.

"Its 1983, September 3. It says on her I.D she's a teacher" Jane says.

Typing this new information into the computer Frankie narrows it down to one picture on the screen. "There's her address, isn't that only a couple of blocks where the bodies were found?". He says as he turns around to face both the older detectives.

"That can't be a coincidence" Korsak says.

Jane doesn't believe in coincidences, never has. "Let's head over to the house and see what we can find. We still need to I.D the other body". Feeling her cell vibrate on her hip she picks it up, it's a text from Maura. Heading out of the room, she shouts back to Korsak. "I'll meet you at the car, I need to see Maura".

* * *

Even though it was still early in the day the morgue seemed quieter than usual. Making her way down the halls she starts to wonder where all the technicians are. Reaching the morgue doors she can see the blonde working on one of the bodies through the window. Walking into the room she calls out so not to make her wife jump. "I got your text".

Looking up she watches the taller woman walking towards her. "Jane I've identified our Jane Doe here" she says giving her a file folder. Seeing her wife looking through it she continues on. "Her name is Michelle Forbes, 28 year old nurse. Her fingerprints were on record".

Looking up from the file with a look of shock on her face. "She lives at the same address as Sylvia Bradshaw" Jane says.

"Maybe there roommates?" Maura says looking at her wife intently.

Jane doesn't think so. Her gut is saying otherwise. "I'm just about to head out to there address, you want to come with?" She says with a hint of concern in her voice. Worried that when processing the other body it might be too traumatic for her.

Maura knows Jane is concerned for her well being, she hears in her voice. As much as she would like nothing more than to run away she knows she can't and needs to face her own demons. "I need to finish processing Michelle here and then start on Sylvia".

"Ok, call if you need anything" Jane says making her way out of the room.

The intensity of the brutality that was inflicted on Michelle has Maura worried. Not liking that Jane could be potentially walking into a dangerous situation. "Jane, there is one other thing".

Stopping, Jane looks over her shoulder at Maura.

"There is one thing I can tell you, whoever did this did so in a rage. And they used their fists. This was a brutal and personal attack". Maura says in a sombre tone.

Nodding her head that she understands she will make sure she is careful. Jane disappears down the corridor, on her way to meet Korsak.

* * *

Arriving at the victim's property what greets them is a lovely and tidy home. Everything seems to have its place. Its full of brightly coloured knik-knaks and photo's.

Both the experienced detectives start to search the property for any clues that can help them find who the murderer is. Korsak starts to look around one of the bedrooms and Jane searches the living room.

There are numerous photos of both women together. Picking one up Jane looks at it closely. _Maybe they're just good friends_ she thinks to herself. That is until she sees another picture of the two women. This one looks like they are more than friends. Both women are laid in each other's arms. An intimate moment captured by a selfie. Jane recognises the image as something more. She can see the love they have for each other. She should know. She has similar pictures of Maura and herself in similar intimate moments. Although hers she keeps private for just her and her wife.

"Korsak" Jane shouts whilst still holding the picture frame. The older detective comes back from the bedroom. She notices he too has found something. He takes the picture frame from her. "I think our vic's were a couple".

Looking at it Korsak agrees with her. "I also found something hidden in a box in the closet. Divorce papers". Handing it over so Jane can have a look. "Sylvia Bradshaw was married to a Carl Bowers, finalised nearly 3 years ago".

"I think we need to pay a visit to Mr Bowers" Jane says grabbing her cell and calling Frankie. "Frankie, I need you to do a check for me, a Carl Bowers, divorced Sylvia Bradshaw in 2014". She can hear her brother typing away.

"Yep, got a Carl Bowers, he's got a record for battery and assault. He also has a restraining order against him by one of our vic's".

"Wait how come the surnames don't match?" Jane says. Hearing her brother typing away again. Knowing he's going to find that answer for her.

"After she divorced her husband she changed her name by deed poll back to her maiden name" Frankie says.

Her gut as well as years of experience is telling her that the ex husband is the one who killed the two women. Jane is about to hang up the call when Frankie interrupts her.

"Janie, it looks like she was running from him. Looking at her utility bills and travel movements she would move to a different state every 8 months or so" he says with a tinge of sadness in his voice.

Feeling sick to her stomach, not only was he abusive to his wife. He stalked and killed his ex-wife as well as her new lover . "Thanks Frankie" she says before hanging up. Feeling her cell vibrate she looks to see that Frankie has sent her Carl Bowers address. "What do you know, he's local" she says to Korsak.

* * *

Finishing up the y-incision on Michelle Forbes, the catalogue of violence she has recorded turns Maura's stomach. Broken ribs, fractured collarbone, broken nose the list goes on. Her death had been a brutal and personal one. Whomever had killed this woman, would have been looking in her eyes when they did so. Satisfied she has done all that she can for Michelle she places her into one of the morgue fridges. Writing on the ticket on door she indicates that the body is now released for burial.

Walking to the other table she lets out a big sigh before starting her autopsy on Sylvia Bradshaw. Although her injuries didn't appear to be as violent as the other womans. It was clear at the crime scene that she had been sexually assaulted. Closing her eyes and taking a deep breath, Maura repeats a meditation mantra in her head to calm her nerves. Happy that it is working she pulls back the blanket covering the corpse in front of her.

The technicians have already removed her clothing, and collected any trace they found and took it to evidence. They have also washed the body, which now has revealed bruising that wasn't visible before.

Grabbing the x-ray machine Maura starts at the head, she can see that there is some damage. "Compound fracture at the base of the skull, indicative of someone slamming the skull down onto the ground" she says into her microphone. "Would cause a concussion but not fatal".

Moving down to the neck "bruising around the neck area shows what appears to be handprints, will proceed with taking photographs using Ultra Violet". Picking up the camera on the table next to her she proceeds to take several photos.

Satisfied she has taken enough she continues to process the body. Moving to her stomach "There are what appears to be 3 wounds in the abdomen region possibly made by a small blade. Will know conclusively when a mould of the impression is taken" she says out loud.

So far she has managed to detach herself and keep her emotions in check. Moving down to Sylvia's pelvic region she repositions the body so she has clearer access to her vaginal opening. "There are signs of bruising on her inner thighs. Doing an internal exam there is evidence of tearing. I can confirm that Sylvia Bradshaw was raped". Picking up some cotton swabs she takes a swab of her vaginal wall. "Taking a swab for spermatozoa will send to evidence for analysis".

Feeling her wall of protection starting to crumble, Maura feels she needs to take a break. Pressing her microphone she turns it off. Grabbing the sheet she covers up the body again before leaving the morgue and going into one of her safe places, her office.

Grabbing her cell she's about to speed dial Jane but then thinks better of it. Instead she decides to make herself a nonfat latte. Using the coffee machine her wife brought for her as a christmas present. Picking up the freshly made coffee she sits down in her armchair and presses the play button on her hi-fi. Instantly her office is filled with the chill out sounds of Enya. _I can do this_ she says to herself, whilst letting the soothing sounds calm and still her aching heart.

* * *

Jane and Korsak arrive at the address of the ex-husband. Knocking on the door they can hear someone on the other side. There greeted by a man who appears to be physically fit. Straight away Jane notices that his knuckles are bruised and cut. "Mr Bowers?" Korsak asks.

"Who's asking?" he says with irritation in his voice.

Already she can tell he is arrogant. Jane doesn't like this man in front of her. Flashing him her badge "I'm Detective Rizzoli-Isles and this is Detective Korsak from Boston Homicide". Seeing that there only suspect is losing patience with them. Jane decides to get right to the point. "Where were you yesterday at around 7pm?" she says.

"Why?" Carl says getting bored with this whole conversation.

Losing his calm Korsak can't stand this jack ass. "Just answer the question" he says.

Letting out a big yawn, Carl is bored of this now. "Do you have a warrant?" he says looking at both detectives. "Didn't think so" then slams the door shut.

Unable to hold her anger as she walks back to the car. "He did it Korsak, that smug bastard murdered those two women". Jane says trying to think of a way to bring him in for questioning. "Korsak, you know any judges that will give us a warrant to search his home?"

"On what grounds Rizzoli, we got nothing" Korsak says looking at his partner.

"Oh I don't know the fact that he's an arrogant dick, or the fact that he's clearly punched someone recently and that he's just on the boundary of the distance of the restraining order" Jane says getting more and more worked up.

Knowing in his gut too that this guy is there murder. "Wait, I know one Judge who might be willing to go out on a limb for us" Korsak says as he starts to find there number to call.

* * *

Jane and Korsak have just arrived back at BPD, Korsak is still waiting on the warrant so Jane decides to go and check on Maura to see how she is doing.

"Rizzoli in my office, now!" Lieutenant Cavanagh shouts across the room.

Looking at Korsak, Jane is a little bit confused. As far as she is aware she's done nothing to piss him off lately. Making her way into his office she can tell by his body language that he's really annoyed at her.

"You're off this case Rizzoli" Cavanagh orders her.

"Why the hell for?" Jane shouts unable to hold her anger back.

Taking a sigh to calm himself. "You're too close to this case, I've seen the initial reports he says.

"So" _Unbelievable_ she thinks then it dawns on her the reason why. "You mean because a couple of lesbians were beaten and raped".

As soon as he heard the older Rizzoli say it he felt shame. He knew he was possibly letting his own feelings getting in the way of this case. But he needed to make sure that she was ok.

"I am a homicide detective, and I am not the only lesbian in this city. And sadly there will be other women who will be raped and killed. What are you going to do? Remove me from every case?" Jane says showing her frustration.

Running his hands over his head Cavanagh knows she has a good point. Looking at the younger detective in front of him, he concedes. "Fine, but if you compromise this investigation in anyway you'll be put on suspension".

"I won't" Jane says trying to convey her confidence in her abilities to stay professional.

"Now get out of here" Cavanagh says returning his attention to one of the numerous files on his desk, hoping he's done the right thing.

* * *

Waiting for the test results to come back from the swabs she took earlier. Maura is hoping to find some genetic evidence to link a suspect to the women. Typing away on her laptop her attention is drawn away when Jane comes into her office. "Any news on those results yet?" she asks.

Maura is about to answer when a bell rings from her laptop indicating the results have just come in. "You're just in time, give me one second" she says. Jane stands there patiently as she reviews the results. "Blood and semen were found on the bodies and they came from the same donor" Maura says before looking up at her wife. "I believe we're looking for one attacker, also I believe the weapon used was a knife with a 4 inch blade. The cause of death for Michelle Forbes was extensive trauma to the face and head which resulted in massive hemorrhaging". Finding it difficult to say the next part she takes a deep breathe.

Seeing that Maura is having difficulty with this case. "Hey, you ok?" Jane asks coming closer to her wife sat at the desk.

"I will admit that there are aspects of this case that I am finding a little difficult, however If I can't do my job thoroughly and efficiently then I have no business being here" Maura says.

Placing a kiss on top of her wife's head. "Just remember you're only human" Jane says with a smile.

Smiling back Maura continues with her results. "Sylvia Bradshaw was raped and then stabbed multiple times. One of her arteries was cut and she bled out".

"Thanks Maura" Jane is about to say more when her cell rings. Answering it, it's Korsak telling her that he's managed to get the warrant. "Hopefully I can give you a match for those samples you took, we're going to search the ex-husbands house".

* * *

Arriving back at the property Jane pounds on the door hard. When the door is opened she pushes the warrant into Carl Bowers hands as she lets herself in. "Carl Bowers we have a warrant to search this property, you will remain with this officer here so not to interfere with our investigation".

She doesn't wait to hear a response from him, instead she makes a beeline for his bedroom. Searching the closet she finds a box full of pictures of our two victims hidden on the top shelf behind some old junk. Looking through them, on several photos there faces have been scratched out, whilst others have derogatory words written on them, like Dyke, Cunt, and Whore. Putting them into an evidence bag she continues to search the room. That's when something catches her eye.

Behind the bedside cabinet it looks like the skirting is a little bit loose. Pulling it, it comes cleanly away. Reaching inside she pulls out what feels like a solid object. _Gotcha_ she thinks to herself. Placing this new bit of evidence into one of the bags she walks out of the bedroom and faces Carl Bowers. Showing the bag of photos to him. "Interest little art project you got going on here".

"That's not a crime, I have freedom of expression as an American citizen" Carl says in a cocky manner.

"Maybe so, but this tells me a different story" Jane says showing the other evidence bag which contains a bloodied knife.

Looking at the knife, Carl decides not to say anything. Instead he just rolls his eyes.

"Carl Bowers I'm arresting you on suspicion of murder of Michelle Forbes and the rape and murder of Sylvia Bradshaw" Pulling out her cuffs Jane turns him around and proceeds to handcuff his hands together.

* * *

There suspect has been sat in an interrogation room for a couple of hours. They wanted him to sit and stew for awhile until they had took and processed a cheek swab. When the results came back it was just what they had thought.

Korsak and Jane enter the room and take a seat opposite Carl Bowers. Maura is stood behind the mirror watching them with Lieutenant Cavanagh.

"We found some interesting things when going through your laptop" Korsak says. Watching to see if he is getting any reaction from the suspect. "There are detailed records of how you stalked Sylvia Bradshaw across the country". Still nothing from him.

Jane takes a turn at him. Anything he says in this room is just extra and they have physical evidence of his crime. "We know you were violent towards Sylvia when you were married". Still no reaction. She decides to see if she can push him. "Was that because she wanted to leave you or because she would rather be with a woman". _Bingo_ she thinks.

"Maybe you should keep you're mouth shut?" Carl says as he leans in over the table. He looks at Jane intently, completely forgetting that Korsak is in the room with them. "Otherwise I might have to add to that pretty scar on your face".

 _Shit_ Cavanagh thinks as he watches them through the glass. If Jane was going to do anything stupid that would be her trigger. Already he can see her nostrils flare and her body tense in anger.

Loving nothing more than to slam his head into the metal table. Jane knows she can't, instead she antagonises him some more. "Do you remember the woman who took a DNA sample from you?".

"Yeah, she was hot, I wouldn't mind tapping that" Carl laughs.

Hating the way he is talking about Maura but Jane knows she's got him. Leaning forward and looking directly into his eyes she says "Yeah, she's my wife". Then she sees it, the smug look has been wiped off his face. And is now replaced by anger.

Trying to reach for her over the table but his hands are handcuffed he screams at her. "You fucking bitch, you're one of them dykes. Just like those two bitches. They thought they could humiliate me".

Both Jane and Korsak stand up and indicate for the officer outside the door to come in. "Carl Bowers you are under address for the murder of Michelle Forbes and the rape and murder of Sylvia Bradshaw, take him to lock up".

Maura and Cavanagh come out of the observation room. Making there way over to Jane and Korsak. The suspect is being dragged by them. He seems to get even more agitated when he sees the two women together. "You fucking bitches, I should have killed you all!".

Turning to the officer Jane shouts at him. "GET HIM OUT OF HERE NOW!".

"Rizzoli, thanks for proving me wrong" Cavanagh says as he holds his hand out for her to shake.

Taking his hand in hers Jane shakes it. "Thanks Lieu". She holds no hard feelings against him. She knows he only meant well.

Korsak, Maura and Jane watch as Cavanagh walks away and makes his way back to his office. Sure that he it out of earshot the older detective wants to know what that was. "What was that about?" Korsak asks sounding a little perplexed.

Not really wanting to get into it right now, if she was being totally honest all she wanted to do was to go home with Maura and have a drink and a cuddle. "It's nothing, I'll fill you in later" Jane says, taking her wife's hand in her own "I just want to go home with my wife".

Nodding his head, Korsak knows that this case has been hard on both of them. Giving them a wave he too disappears down the corridor and out of view.

* * *

Settling down for the evening, both women are exhausted. This case has been hard on both of them. Maura is the first to speak, setting her medical journal down on the bedside table she asks Jane a question. "What did Lieutenant Cavanagh mean earlier?"

Looking up from her laptop, Jane turns to look at her wife. "He felt that I would compromise this case in some way".

"Why?" Maura asks innocently. Jane is an accomplished detective, her record speaks for itself.

Closing her laptop shut Jane continues. "He felt that because this involved a gay couple and the type of violence inflicted that I would do something stupid" she says with a slight laugh.

"I must admit Jane, I did find this case extremely hard. All I kept thinking was that both of those women could have been us" Maura says swallowing the lump that is forming in the back of her throat.

Taking the smaller woman's hand in her own and giving it a gentle squeeze. "We're not them" Jane says "we both survived".

* * *

 **Authors Note:**

 **Hope you liked this chapter a bit longer than the others but I felt I needed to put into context what it would be like for them to deal with a similar case of there own. This was just another way for both women to process and overcome their own crime.**

 **Thanks again for following and reading my story. Much love**

 **Peace and Love**

 **Paula**


	23. Update

Hi Everyone,

Just wanted to drop a quick message. Sorry for the very long delay. I'm doing great, thanks for those who have been asking about me. I'm currently signed up for some counselling now. And i've been focusing on exercising more over the last month. Which has been helping my anxiety tremendously. Also with the holidays approaching i've been doing extra shifts at work too.

So just to recap, Trauma isn't finished yet. I'm currently working on what i think will be the final chapter to finish it off. So i'm trying not to rush it. As this story deserves a good ending.

Thanks again for all your continued support.

Peace and Love and a Merry Christmas to everyone.

Paula.


	24. Chapter 19 - Till Death Do Us Part

**Warning Sex Scenes**

Maura and Jane have now dropped into a nice and easy routine since returning back to work. Yes there have still been some hard cases that have affected both the M.E and the seasoned detective. But life is returning back to normal for both of them. That was until both women realised what the date was. A date that should be filled with happy memories and joyous occasion, which has now been tarnished with violence and assault. It's coming up to the one year anniversary of that fateful night walking through the park.

Jane has noticed that neither of them have said much over the past couple of days. Both wondering how they are going to react to the upcoming date. Both deciding to take a few days off work during this time. Nobody questioned them or asked them why. They knew, they could all it in there eyes. The fear and uncertainty of what would come.

As much as she drives her crazy with her hovering, Jane decides to go and see her mother. Sometimes all a daughter needs is a hug from her mother that somehow makes everything seem better.

Knocking on the old familiar door or her old apartment, she opens the door and walks in. "Ma" Jane says trying to keep her voice sounding strong, hiding the fact that she feels like she is going to break.

"Yeah baby, I'm just making the bed, give me a second" Angela shouts back to her daughter. Trying to be as quick as possible, knowing how vulnerable Jane must be feeling.

Heading to the fridge Jane sees if her mother has any beer stocked, she's in luck. Taking one of the cold bottles she unscrews the cap with ease. Taking a swig the cool amber liquid feels good against her throat. Staring out of the window she is so lost in thought that when the older woman comes up behind her it makes her jump. "Fuck" she says almost jumping out of her shoes.

"I'm sorry babe, I didn't mean to make you jump, I did call your name" Angela says with concern in her voice. "You ok? You want to talk about it".

Looking at her mother, Jane can see love and pain in her eyes. Letting out a big sigh, nodding her head she heads over to the couch. Thinking to herself she thinks its funny how she is willing to let her mother in. For years she never did, she would deal with it on her own or just get drunk. This is what being married to Maura has done to her, being more open about her feelings and not being scared anymore of letting people in.

Sitting next to her daughter on the couch Angela places her hand on her knee giving it a gentle squeeze. "You know you can tell me anything, right?" She says waiting for Jane to look at her.

"I know ma" Jane says "Our anniversary is supposed to be a happy day, but now it's just filled with nightmares". Taking another sigh she continues "Maura hasn't really said much to me over the last couple of days, which I don't blame her".

Hating what those monsters did to her daughters, and even though Daryl Jones is dead he is still tormenting them both. The older woman wishes she could do something for both of them, then an idea comes to her. "Don't let them ruin your day" she says.

Jane knows her mother means well. "It's not that easy ma, I wish it was" she says trying to fight back the tears she can feel are forming.

"I know babe, but why don't you do something nice on that day, to chase away the bad memories, for you and Maura" Angela says hoping her daughter will listen to her suggestion.

Looking over to her mother Jane is intrigued what she has in mind.

* * *

Maura has spent most of the last couple of days either out in the garden doing some weeding or planting or keeping her nose hidden in one of the numerous medical journals she subscribes too. Just to keep her mind occupied so she doesn't have to think about the pending date that is looming over both their heads.

When she thinks about it she becomes sad, sad that there wedding anniversary used to be a lovely day that she looked forward to. But now it's like a waking nightmare, when she closes her eyes or think too much about it, she's back in that park. With HIM!.

Feeling bad that she hasn't said more than two words to Jane, this makes her feel selfish. As her wife is going through the same thing as her too. That this is both their nightmare. Mentally telling herself that she needs to talk to Jane and ask her how she is doing. Feeling tired and just wanting the day to finish she decides to taking a sleeping tablet and then heads up to bed before texting Jane.

Waking up she notices how quiet and dark the house is. Looking at the clock it's late, about 10pm, wondering where Jane is she gets up. Heading downstairs she finds the house is completely empty.

Confused she checks her phone to see if there have been any texts or missed calls from Jane. There is one from Jane. _Don't wait up, needed to go out of town for the night, will be back in the morning. Love you always. Jane xx._

Finding this very odd, Jane never mentioned anything about going out of town. But then again the last few days she's not really said much herself. She knows Jane loves her but she can't help thinking in the back of her mind that maybe Jane is planning on leaving her. That she has pushed her away. And there anniversary date is the last straw that broke the camel's back .

Feeling nothing but numb she decides to go back to bed. Thinking _what's the point_. She'll deal with it in the morning. Whatever may come.

* * *

The next morning Maura wakes up early, she was hoping that she would just sleep the day through that there anniversary day would be a thing of the past. Rolling over in the bed and feeling Jane's side is still cold she is contemplating whether or not to even get out of bed. Really not wanting to face the world today. That is until she can smell the faint aroma of coffee and pastries coming from somewhere inside the house.

Dragging herself out of the bed she slowly and reluctantly descends the stairs, what she sees on the dining room table is a magnificent breakfast. With the centerpiece being a bouquet of her favourite flowers, white roses.

Stood there with the biggest grin on her face is Jane. "Surprise" she says with excitement etched in her voice.

Seeing the love of her life stood in there kitchen, with this beautiful breakfast, Maura has forgotten about what day it is. She has forgotten that Jane didn't come home last night. It's just the two of them. "Oh Jane, this is wonderful".

Taking the chair out for her "please beautiful lady take a seat" Jane says giving her a the seat when it is offered Maura sits down. "Do you trust me?" she asks her.

"Of course I do" Maura says sounding a bit more defensive than she actually meant to have sounded. Just feeling a little confused to being asked a question which in her mind was stupid.

Brushing it off Jane hides the fact she detected the hint of annoyance in her wife's voice. Instead she hands her an envelope. "You have to follow these instructions complicity". Jane says giving Maura a serious look. "And don't over think anything or worry about any of it, it's all been taken care of".

Taking the envelope Maura opens it and pulls out a card, starting to read the list. it's an itinerary of some sorts with places and times but no mention to what she is supposed to be doing there. "Jane, I don't understand". The blonde says looking at the taller woman.

"You don't need to understand it babe" Jane says giving Maura a passionate and deep kiss. Breaking away she looks into the blonde's eyes. "You just need to enjoy it".

Feeling all her worries melt away with that kiss, like a weight has been lifted off her shoulders. So far whatever Jane was planning was working.

"Right, I will have breakfast with you then you're first arrival will be here shortly" Jane says taking the seat opposite from her wife.

* * *

The breakfast was wonderful, but it seemed to be over far too quickly when there was a knock at the door. Jane made no attempt to answer the door but instead indicated for Maura to do so.

Opening the door she is greeted by Constance "Mother, what are you doing here?" Maura asks sounding shocked to see her. She didn't even realise she was in New York.

"You and I dear are going to be spending the morning at the spa in the Mandarin Oriental" Constance says with the biggest smile on her face.

Not knowing what to say. Maura stands there in shock. The spa at the Mandarin Oriental is one of the most prestigious and luxurious spas in the whole of Boston. She's been wanting to try it out for ages.

Constance can see that Maura is in shock and awe at the current situation that is unfolding. "Now run along dear and get dressed, as you have a busy schedule to keep today" she says to Maura with a twinkle in her eye. Like a shot Maura is gone. Re-emerging only a few minutes later. She thinks to herself that this must be the only time she has seen her daughter change so quickly. Looking into the blonde's eyes she can see the excitement and happiness that she feels. Glancing over towards her daughter in-law she can see Jane mouth the words ' _thank you'_ to her. Constance needs not to say anything, instead she gives Jane a slight nod of her head. After all, she feels she should be the one thanking Jane. Jane was the one who told her the truth about her behaviour towards her daughter. Since then they are much closer as mother and daughter than they ever have been.

And with that Maura and Constance are gone. _Great_ Jane thinks to herself. If Maura sticks to the plan then she will be gone all day which means she can get the house ready and sorted for the big reveal later on tonight.

* * *

As much as Maura has enjoyed the day of pampering and pruning, all she wants to do is to just go home. "Frankie, I have enjoyed your company immensely today, but please can you take me home now?".

Before he could answer her he felt his phone vibrate in his pocket. Quickly pulling it out and reading the text. _Bring the Angel home xxx._ It was from Jane. _Finally_ Frankie thought. Turning to face Maura "Yep, I'll take you home now" he says with a big grin on his face.

Maura knows Frankie too well, and she knows how to get him to break. Know she knows something is definitely going on. Once in the car she turns to look at her brother-in-law. "What's going on Frankie?" she says with a devilish grin on her face.

Carrying on getting himself ready to drive Maura home, Frankie tries to act casual. "What do you mean? I'm taking you home. That's what you want, right?" he says trying to act cool.

"I know something is going on Frankie, not exactly what, but I know Jane is up to something" she says not taking her eyes off of her brother-in-law, who she can see is starting to squirm in his seat.

Shit! Frankie thinks. "I'm just going to take you home Maura". He says giving her a quick look before starting the engine and driving off.

By now the sun was setting and dusk was starting to fall. The drive back to the house was quiet. Frankie was trying to hide the awkwardness of the fact that a) he is a terrible liar and b) that Maura knew if she pushed him enough he would break. Turning on the radio and putting the volume up. Hoping it is loud enough so that small talk is impossible.

Running through different scenarios trying to see if she could figure out what was happening. Maura knew Jane was up to something. But what exactly she didn't know. Soon enough they pulled into her driveway. Grabbing her shopping out of the car and making her way to the front door. Maura notices a piece of paper taped to the door. She was going to ask Frankie what this was, but he had magically disappeared.

Turning back to the note, there were further instructions for her to follow. _All will be revealed my love, I know you are probably tired by now and getting annoyed at the charade. I promise you it is nearly over. Please indulge me a little further. The house will be in total darkness, follow only the lights that you see. I love you with all my heart. Jane xx_

Jane knows her too well. She will carry on with this, because she loves and trusts Jane. Letting herself into the house. The first thing she notices is how dark the house is. Scanning around the room she notices that all the curtains are closed. Thinking this odd she follows the instructions on the note. There is a trail of fairy lights illuminating the stairs, following them they lead her to there bedroom. Pushing the door aside, on the bed is one of the most beautiful white dresses she has ever seen. Walking over to it there is a card on top of it. Picking it up it reads _To my Angel, be my princess tonight. Freshen up, have a drink._ Scanning the bedroom Maura finds on a little side table a bottle of champagne in an ice bucket. Smiling to herself she continues reading the rest of the note. _And when you're ready, come and meet me outside in the garden. Jane xx._

* * *

Checking herself in the mirror, Maura is satisfied at her appearance. The dress that Jane got her fits her perfectly. And if she says so herself she looks stunning. Finishing off the champagne in her glass, she slowly and carefully descends the stairs, noticing that some more fairy lights lead the way to their patio doors.

Walking to the doors she takes a deep breath before she turns the handles and pushes them aside. What she sees leaves her speechless. She can't believe her eyes.

In the garden she sees the faces of her family and friends. In the centre stood on the pagoda is Jane and Korsak. The garden has been beautifully decorated with thousands of fairy lights.

Jane looks absolutely stunning in a white dress too. It still hasn't dawned on her what is going on, until she is pulled out of her daze by her father, Richard.

"Come along my dear, I must escort you down the aisle" He says raising his arm for his daughter to take.

"Of course" Maura answers still in shock as she takes her father's arm.

Stepping forward Korsak addresses everyone. "Can we all rise please" He says with a big grin on his old face.

Standing everyone turns to face Maura. Scanning the crowd she can see Nina, Frankie, her mother, Angela, Tommy, and even Hope and Kaitlin. Making her way to Jane she can hear their song playing. In the arms of a Woman by Amos Lee. Feeling the lump rise in her throat she is not sure how long it will be before she is a blubbering mess. Without even realising it she is stood in front of Jane, who has never looked more beautiful to her than right now.

Taking Jane's hand in his own Richard then takes Maura before bring them both together. Leaning in he places kisses on both of their cheeks before taking his seat at the front next to Constance who is already crying.

"Please be seated everyone" Korsak says. Seeing his two friends in front of him, even he is finding it hard not to shed a tear. "We have gathered here today in the love of friendship and family to celebrate a renewal of marriage vows between Jane and Maura. As their family and close friends, each of you has played a role in bringing them to this day, and in various ways will continue to support and contribute to their marriage. We solemnize this significant event in their lives and enter into this ceremony in an attitude of respect for their steadfast and ongoing commitment to each other".

"In marriage, we give ourselves freely and generously into the hands of the one we love, and by doing so, we receive the love and trust of the other as our most precious gift. Today you re-commit yourselves to honoring and protecting one another above your separate selves, and to valuing your union above your own interests. In doing this, you secure for yourselves a wealth of love and peace not otherwise attainable". Pausing. Seeing the love between these two women he proudly calls family. "But as you know so well, with this joy also comes the profound responsibility to protect the bond you share. For it is only with continual care that your love is truly secure in the face of life's inevitable tests. Regard each other always with the same deep respect that has kept you through the years, and be ever mindful of the many gifts the other offers you. Inspire and encourage one another. For it is by strengthening your spouse, that you have strengthened your marriage. Bring out the very best in each other. Be sparing in criticism, and generous in praise for things well done. In communication, continue, to be honest and open with each other, knowing that the heart that communicates truth without hesitation earns trust and builds a secure home. And as always, accept your marriage as a work-in-progress that consumes your attention day by day and yet is never completed. Because a lifelong love requires a lifetime of hard work. But it is a joyous labor, whose fruits are the very richest.

Your future stretches out before you, vast and unknown. That future, with its hopes and disappointments, its joys and its sorrows, is hidden from your eyes. But it is a great tribute to your belief in each other that you remain nonetheless willing to face those uncertainties together. May the pure, simple love with which you join your hearts and hands again here today never fail, but grow deeper and surer with every passing year".

Looking across the sea of faces Korsak doesn't think he sees a dry eye anywhere. Taking a deep breath to steady his own emotions he continues. "Jane would you take Maura's hand and make your vows to her…" he says.

Taking both of the blonde's hands in her own, Jane looks into those love filled eyes. "Maura, I believe in this marriage more strongly than ever. Today, I renew the promises I made to you 7 years ago, A promise of my hand and my heart, A promise to you of my love and devotion, A promise to provide for and protect you. It is with these promises that I recommit my love for you. I will continue to love you for as long as I shall live".

"Maura, would you now make your vows to Jane" Korsak says to the smaller woman.

Turning to face the taller woman. Maura feels nervous all of a sudden and takes a deep breathe before she tries to remember what Jane just said to her. "I believe in this marriage more strongly than ever. Today, I renew the promises I made to you 7 years ago, A promise of my hand and my heart, A promise to you of my love and devotion, A promise to provide for and protect you. It is with these promises that I recommit my love for you. I will continue to love you for as long as I shall live" Barely able to get the last part out before nearly breaking down.

Korsak can see the love that his friends still have for each other. "Jane and Maura, we all here today celebrate your love and acknowledge your lifelong devotion to each other. Your example reminds us of love's possibilities. So, by joining hands right now and looking into each other's eyes, let it be known that you are joined inseparably in this lifetime and that this bond continues. Inasmuch as you have sealed this renewal of your marriage vows in the presence of those gathered here, it gives me much pleasure to pronounce that you are now, even more than ever before, Wife and Wife"

With that Jane turns and faces Maura and gives her a long, passionate kiss. Hearing cheering behind them. It is only when they break contact for air, that they see everyone is stood up and cheering and clapping for them.

* * *

The evening has been so magical. Everyone is happy and having a good time, dancing on the makeshift dance floor in the middle of the garden.

"Jane, you are incredible" Maura says placing a kiss on the taller womans lips as they sway in each other's arms on the dance floor.

Jane can't get enough of her wife, the closeness of their bodies, the smell of her skin. Pulling away from the kiss, she looks intently into the blonde's eyes. Not saying anything but having a big grin on her face.

Unsure of what Jane is doing, Maura isn't able to read her wife's expression. "Is everything alright my love?" she says.

"I just can't believe we're here. After everything... thank you for loving me" Jane says as she smiles at her wife. "All of me".

Her heart melts at these words coming from Jane, Maura gently caresses the side of her scarred face. "You're the most beautiful person I know, Inside and out" Placing a gentle kiss on the scar, before bringing both their foreheads together. Closing her eyes as she does so.

When they break apart both woman feel like they are being watched. Glancing to there lefts they see all the mothers stood together with tears in their eyes. Both woman mouth the words _thank you_ and _love you_ to the group of older women.

Overall the night has been a great success, it was around midnight when Jane said goodbye to the last of their guests. Closing the front door she turns to see Maura slumped down on the couch.

"I'm completely exhausted" Maura says while resting her eyes.

Coyly walking over to the blonde Jane comes from behind and whispers in her ear. "Too tired for me to show you how much I love you?" She says before starting to make her way up the stairs. Looking over her shoulder she can see Maura looking up at her. So she gives her a smile and a wink then disappears the rest of the way up the stairs.

By the time Maura makes her way into the bedroom, she is greeted with such a beautiful sight. Thrown on the bed and on the floor are white rose petals, her favourite. And illuminating the room are dozens of candles, all various heights. Casting such a warm glow across the room. And playing in the background is there wedding song, "In the Arms of a Woman". Closing her eyes to try and still her excitement and nerves she can feel a lump forming in her throat. Feeling overwhelmed with happiness she can't help but let a solitary tear fall from her eyes.

Suddenly appearing from the bathroom wearing nothing but sexy lingerie, Jane comes up behind her wife, wrapping her long arms around her. "You ok?" She says into her ear before placing a tender kiss on the side of her face.

Turning around Maura faces the taller woman behind her. "Oh Jane, I'm such a lucky woman". Trying to hide the trembling in her voice.

Reaching and brushing the tear from Maura's face, Jane leans in and places a passionate kiss onto her wifes soft lips. Breaking for air she pauses whilst staring into those beautiful eyes before saying "No, I'm the lucky one".

Embracing Jane tightly, fearing to ever let her go, incase this is all a wonderful dream. "Jane, I want to feel you, I want to be close to you" Maura says.

"You always will be my love" Jane says whilst still embracing the smaller blonde.

Pushing Jane away and glancing up at her "No, I want to feel you...inside" Maura says with passion and a hint of nervousness in her voice.

Staring at her wife, Jane is not sure she just heard her correctly. They haven't been that intimate for nearly a year, not since the attack. "Are you sure?" She says with a hint of concern in her raspy voice. "I don't want you to feel like you have to do it for me?".

"My sweet, sweet girl, you're still trying to protect me, even now" Maura says smiling up at the taller woman. "I want this, I'm ready for this, and I've missed you".

Nodding her head. "Ok, I'll go and get it and get ready, let me know when you're ready" Jane says placing another long passionate kiss on those soft plump lips.

* * *

Stood in the bathroom, Jane is staring at the reflection in the mirror. First her eyes fix on the scar on her face then the scar on her abdomen. Although she's learnt to live with them, they still make her feel sick if she focuses on them too long. Shaking her head and trying to brush those thoughts and feelings aside. Her eyes then land on the phallic object between her legs that seems so alien. A rush of excitement courses through her as well as fear. It's been such a long time since she wore it. Before the attack they would use the strapless dildo regularly. Fingers were good but nothing could get a deeper penetration like the sex toy. Plus it made it easier for them to cum together when they made love. Nothing like the look of a loved ones eyes after both climaxing together. Hearing her name being called from the bedroom she takes a deep breath and walks back into the room.

Laying on top of the bed was a thing of beauty, it took her breath away. Maura was on her back wearing absolutely nothing. She could tell that she had used one of the many expensive skin creams she has. As the smell in the room was amazing. Not sure where to look her eyes kept skipping up and down her wifes body. She wanted to move forward but her feet wouldn't move.

Seeing the lust and fear in her wife's eyes, makes her smile. "Jane, come to me" Maura says ever so softly.

Before she could respond, Janes feet were moving on their own. First they were tiny steps before she grew more confident and made quick work making her way over to the bed. Adjusting herself to feel more comfortable, she lays next to Maura. If Jane was honest she was already wet and turned on. It probably wouldn't take her much to send her over the edge.

Making the first move, Maura leans in and places a deep kiss on Jane's lips. It gets more and more passionate, soon tongues start to collide with each other. Both refusing to come up for hair, not wanting to break the contact. Maura places her hand on one of Jane's breasts and gives it a gentle squeeze.

Letting out a moan of pleasure Jane has to break for air. She smiles at her wife before continuing the kiss. This time she places her own hand on one of her wife's breasts. Giving her nipple a squeeze before massaging it. This elicits a moan of pleasure from Maura.

Starting to feel more and more intense, Jane pushes Maura on to her back. Holding her arms down she moves her head to the amazing pert breasts of her wife. Giving each breast the attention it deserves. First she sucks and licks the nipple before giving the breast a firm massage. Once satisfied she does the same with the other breast.

Maura cannot contain her excitement anymore, letting out moans in between heavy panting. "Fuck".

This is it, Jane thinks. When Maura starts cursing she's nearly there. Adjusting her body so the dildo is above her wifes vagina. Jane licks her fingers and then wipes it across the phallus. To make sure its lubricated enough. The last thing she would want to do is to hurt Maura. Slowly and gently she enters her wife's sex. Once fully inside her, she can feel Maura has tensed up. Looking up at her wife, she sees her eyes are closed.

Placing her hands on the side of the blondes face, Jane stops moving. "Look at me baby". When Maura opens her eyes, she continues. "Just breathe, you're safe, I've got you". Watching Maura's breathing return to normal and seeing that she is calmer. Jane starts to gently thrust the dildo in and out of her. "Just keep looking at me" Jane says never increasing the tempo. This continues for a few minutes. Soon Maura starts to buck her hips, and starts to pant again.

Seeing this as an indication, Jane starts to thrust quicker, hearing nothing but moans of pleasure from Maura, she continues, faster. She can feel herself starting to lose control, feeling that herself is so close to the edge. Then she heard those amazing words. "Fuck me Jane, fuck me".

That was it, the permission she needed, she starts to thrust faster and deeper. Both lost in a sea of pleasure. Feeling connected, feeling close. Nothing mattered, except for this moment in time. It was just the two of them. Everything melted away. The attack, the past year struggles. In this moment in time, there was nothing but the two of them and there love for each other.

"Fuck, I'm gonna cum" Jane almost screams. With each thrust sending her closer and closer over the edge. "Cum with me Jane" Maura says through heavy breathing.

And with that Jane gives one more deep thrust, "I've cum baby" she says before collapsing on top of the blonde. "Me too sweet girl" Maura says into her wifes ear.

Overcome with emotion tears start to fall from Jane's eyes. Maura is taken back by this. Wondering if she has done something wrong to upset her. "What's wrong" she asks.

"Nothing is wrong baby, these are tears of happiness" Jane says before placing a kiss on her wifes lips. They stay like that for what feels like an eternity, still inside each other. Starting to feel a chill on her back Jane gently pulls out of Maura, before removing the dildo and discarding it onto the bedroom floor. Pulling the covers back, Jane pulls Maura into her arms. Embracing her in a hug and planting kisses on the top of her head.

"Thank you" Maura says.

Turning to look at the blonde "For what?" Jane says.

"For loving me" Maura says her voice almost breaking.

Jane can't help but smile "I can't imagine my life without you". And without even thinking she blurts out "I want to have a family with you".

Maura is in shock, they've not really discussed having children together. Not since Jane had miscarried. The subject seemed a sensitive topic to approach and with both of their busy work schedules it just never came up. Both being too hurt by it. She has watched Jane with her nephew and she is great with kids. She hasn't realised she has said nothing back to Jane and there was now an uncomfortable silence filling the room.

"Please say something" Jane says with worry in her voice. Knowing she has just sprung this on the blonde. But with everything that has happened to them it just feels right.

Seeing the look of horror and worry that is spreading across her wifes face. Maura quickly answers her. "I would love nothing more" she says.

Jane can feel her nerves starting to get the best of her, and she starts to ramble. "I mean I'm not expecting you to carry...as I don't want to...what I mean is we can adopt as well".

Finding it endearing when Jane gets flustered. Putting her hand to her lips to stop her from talking anymore. "Jane I would love nothing more than to carry our children" Maura says.

"Really!" Jane says sounding a bit more surprised than she intended too. "I mean, that's great".

"Oh Jane, you do make me smile" Maura says placing a kiss on the taller woman's cheek.

* * *

Over the next year, they had their ups and downs, they had tried three times already to try and get pregnant. Each time it had failed. Maura was starting to feel more and more disheartened. She felt she had let Jane down. Even though Jane had said it didn't matter. And that there were plenty of kids out in the world that they had enough love to give to.

They decided to try for the final time, both agreeing that if it didn't take they would adopt.

Coming out of the toilet holding the pregnancy test stick in her hand. Maura could see the nervous look on Janes face. She didn't know if she could hold it any longer. Walking over to Jane she finally lets the biggest grin spread across her face. Knowing that the next two words she says are going to change their world forever. "Im pregnant"

 _ **Authors Note:**_

 _ **Thank you all for following this story, and I hope you all have enjoyed it. Sorry this final chapter took so long. I didn't want to rush it. Plus I wanted to set it up for the sequel I am planning on doing which will the birth of their children. I'm also planning on doing a prequel too. It will be my version on how they met, and eventually fall in love.**_

 _ **However I'm not sure which one to do first. I'm thinking the prequel. Then the sequel. Let me know what you think.**_

 _ **And thank you all once again for all your support and commitment to this story.**_

 _ **I wish you all a very Happy New Year.**_

 _ **Love and Peace**_

 _ **Paula a.k.a Abandon.**_


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